The Lustrous-Haired Swede's Guide to Self-Promotion

[00:00:00] [SPEAKER_00]: Hi sleepy, just a very quick note before we start today's episode.

[00:00:05] [SPEAKER_00]: Do you want to listen to this podcast without the ads?

[00:00:08] [SPEAKER_00]: Then you absolutely can.

[00:00:11] [SPEAKER_00]: Just subscribe to Fall asleep with Henrik plus and to do so,

[00:00:15] [SPEAKER_00]: you can just click the link in the podcast description and it'll be fixed.

[00:00:22] [SPEAKER_00]: See you there.

[00:00:24] [SPEAKER_00]: Hi and welcome to Fall asleep with Henrik.

[00:00:28] [SPEAKER_00]: I'm Henrik and you'll sleepy.

[00:00:31] [SPEAKER_00]: And it is what happens, happens and right now, there's nothing we can do.

[00:00:43] [SPEAKER_00]: Let's begin.

[00:00:47] [SPEAKER_00]: Hi sleepy.

[00:00:49] [SPEAKER_00]: Hi and welcome to yet another episode of this questionable content,

[00:00:55] [SPEAKER_00]: which aims to put you to sleep and not putting you to sleep in that very literal sense the way you say it

[00:01:03] [SPEAKER_00]: about animals that are getting old and sick.

[00:01:08] [SPEAKER_00]: I think we need to put Fido to sleep.

[00:01:12] [SPEAKER_00]: That's not what I mean.

[00:01:14] [SPEAKER_00]: I mean, put you to sleep in like the soft and gentle and unharmed hallway, which is kind of necessary for us all.

[00:01:29] [SPEAKER_00]: I am not going to do it in any conventional sense.

[00:01:33] [SPEAKER_00]: I'm just going to speak, I'm just going to talk and I haven't prepared anything.

[00:01:41] [SPEAKER_00]: I don't edit anything out except for maybe if something really disturbing or

[00:01:51] [SPEAKER_00]: intrusive would happen here like for instance, if Conan the Barbarian just rushed into this very narrow

[00:02:00] [SPEAKER_00]: space, I'm sitting in and like yelling at me for not preparing some meal for him or anything like that.

[00:02:13] [SPEAKER_00]: Then maybe I will edit that out because I believe that if Conan the Barbarian were to rush in here,

[00:02:20] [SPEAKER_00]: yelling at me with his broken English, I would probably have to apologize to you,

[00:02:31] [SPEAKER_00]: sleepy because you're listening to this in order to fall asleep.

[00:02:39] [SPEAKER_00]: So with that said, I will not edit out if just you know random stuff happens.

[00:02:47] [SPEAKER_00]: For instance, you will hear me miss a spell or miss pronounced words a lot here since I'm not English.

[00:02:55] [SPEAKER_00]: I'm from Sweden as you may have guessed.

[00:02:59] [SPEAKER_00]: If you have listened to a few of my episodes, you know a little bit about me and then you know that I do this podcast in Swedish

[00:03:08] [SPEAKER_00]: and I've been doing it for five years now and that's my livelihood.

[00:03:16] [SPEAKER_00]: And I don't have any other income really than just this very weird experimental way of putting people to sleep in the non-harmonful way.

[00:03:34] [SPEAKER_00]: So you don't have to listen to what I say really unless you want to, of course you can.

[00:03:42] [SPEAKER_00]: I get a lot of emails from listeners all over the world who tell me,

[00:03:48] [SPEAKER_00]: and I'm really glad to receive those by the way.

[00:03:51] [SPEAKER_00]: If you want to tell me a bit about yourself and how you use my podcast feel free to email me,

[00:03:59] [SPEAKER_00]: you could just search for me on any social media or on the internet.

[00:04:06] [SPEAKER_00]: You can just find me in this email me and tell me about you where you are in the world and how you use my podcast.

[00:04:15] [SPEAKER_00]: But I get a lot of emails from people all across the globe from India to Norway,

[00:04:24] [SPEAKER_00]: telling me about how they use my podcast and there are so many different ways of using it.

[00:04:34] [SPEAKER_00]: Some people listen to it during commute, to and from work.

[00:04:42] [SPEAKER_00]: Other people fall asleep to it.

[00:04:46] [SPEAKER_00]: The main part of my sleep is listen to this in order to fall asleep,

[00:04:52] [SPEAKER_00]: but there's also this growing group of people listening to it just because I tend to distract from other thoughts

[00:05:07] [SPEAKER_00]: and I guess that's a good thing.

[00:05:12] [SPEAKER_00]: I do that because I, well, you are a growing group of people and put it that way.

[00:05:22] [SPEAKER_00]: You are there are more and more of you and although I tend to speak to you as you,

[00:05:31] [SPEAKER_00]: like is you sleepy in singular.

[00:05:36] [SPEAKER_00]: Of course, there are now thousands of you listening to this podcast.

[00:05:43] [SPEAKER_00]: I have told many people before but I'm going to do it again in case you're new.

[00:05:51] [SPEAKER_00]: I have a goal of reaching one million people listening to this podcast within a year from now.

[00:05:58] [SPEAKER_00]: And I know that's an overly ambitious goal.

[00:06:03] [SPEAKER_00]: I'm sure that won't be possible, but nevertheless that's my goal.

[00:06:10] [SPEAKER_00]: So if you want to help then please share this podcast if you like it, if I'm doing it for you.

[00:06:20] [SPEAKER_00]: Then share the existence of my podcast in your own social media or in your own friend groups and please leave a review.

[00:06:32] [SPEAKER_00]: On the platform, where you listen, that helps a lot.

[00:06:37] [SPEAKER_00]: Sometimes we think we tend to think that my comment and my review or whatever,

[00:06:47] [SPEAKER_00]: my me sharing this particular type of content in my own social media doesn't really matter because I have like 15 followers and it doesn't matter.

[00:06:56] [SPEAKER_00]: But it does, you know, it really does.

[00:07:03] [SPEAKER_00]: I'm quite bad at this myself.

[00:07:05] [SPEAKER_00]: I have to remind myself that if I like something,

[00:07:10] [SPEAKER_00]: I need to show that I do because media today doesn't work the way it used to and it hasn't been in a long time.

[00:07:22] [SPEAKER_00]: I mean, if you like something and want to keep it, you have to.

[00:07:27] [SPEAKER_00]: It's boring to say that you have to do stuff.

[00:07:30] [SPEAKER_00]: We don't have to do anything.

[00:07:33] [SPEAKER_00]: But in order for things we like to stay the way we like it,

[00:07:40] [SPEAKER_00]: we need to show appreciation and it has really very little to do with the ego of the particular content creator.

[00:07:48] [SPEAKER_00]: It has more to do with the fact that stuff that are liked are getting more traction.

[00:07:59] [SPEAKER_00]: That's just the ugly truth to it.

[00:08:06] [SPEAKER_00]: And it doesn't matter if you have three followers or 300,000 followers.

[00:08:13] [SPEAKER_00]: It doesn't really matter.

[00:08:17] [SPEAKER_00]: Good stuff tend to grow.

[00:08:19] [SPEAKER_00]: If the people listening or watching or taking part in the good stuff, share and talk about it.

[00:08:30] [SPEAKER_00]: So okay, now I've made a fool out of myself.

[00:08:40] [SPEAKER_00]: I have, I mean, I'm so much better at this now than I was like five or six or ten years ago.

[00:08:50] [SPEAKER_00]: The bragging part.

[00:08:52] [SPEAKER_00]: In Sweden, it's very frowned upon to brag.

[00:08:58] [SPEAKER_00]: It's getting easier to brag even here but we have this law called the Jan-Jantelor,

[00:09:06] [SPEAKER_00]: which is, it's not a law, per se.

[00:09:09] [SPEAKER_00]: It's not written anywhere.

[00:09:11] [SPEAKER_00]: But it's an unwritten rule that you shouldn't talk about yourself in a good way.

[00:09:18] [SPEAKER_00]: So it's important that you stay like mainly negative about yourself and your own traits and talents.

[00:09:36] [SPEAKER_00]: Because God forbid, you would be perceived as someone who thinks goodly of himself.

[00:09:43] [SPEAKER_00]: And I'm struggling with that a lot because I have business.

[00:09:48] [SPEAKER_00]: And I need to tell people about what I do in order to keep doing my business.

[00:09:56] [SPEAKER_00]: And it's easier today, I should point out it's so much easier than it used to be.

[00:10:03] [SPEAKER_00]: My first website.

[00:10:06] [SPEAKER_00]: It's gone now. Thank God.

[00:10:09] [SPEAKER_00]: But it was in my own name.

[00:10:11] [SPEAKER_00]: My name, by the way, if you're new to this, my name is Henrik Stowell.

[00:10:17] [SPEAKER_00]: And I am a Swedish actor or a thought-caster director.

[00:10:22] [SPEAKER_00]: I don't really know what I am anymore since my only income nowadays is from my thought-cast, my Swedish thought-cast,

[00:10:29] [SPEAKER_00]: for the sleep with Henrik.

[00:10:31] [SPEAKER_00]: Which this English thought-cast is like this sibling thought-cast.

[00:10:43] [SPEAKER_00]: So now I don't remember what I was going to say.

[00:10:48] [SPEAKER_00]: Okay, so don't worry. This happens a lot and maybe I will never recover.

[00:10:53] [SPEAKER_00]: Stuff that I was going to talk about, but it doesn't matter.

[00:11:01] [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, my first website, that's it.

[00:11:05] [SPEAKER_00]: So it was meant to promote me as an actor, I guess.

[00:11:10] [SPEAKER_00]: And at that time, very few of us Swedish actors had our own websites.

[00:11:16] [SPEAKER_00]: We really just relied on mouth to mouth.

[00:11:21] [SPEAKER_00]: And the culture, you know, the acting community is still, but at that time so much more narrow than, like for instance, American acting communities.

[00:11:37] [SPEAKER_00]: We have a language barrier which keeps us in the country and we're not very many, there's not many of us today.

[00:11:47] [SPEAKER_00]: They're a greater variety, but at the time I finished actor school, I was like one of maybe 20 people who were new from acting school that year.

[00:12:02] [SPEAKER_00]: And almost every one of us went right into unemployment.

[00:12:09] [SPEAKER_00]: So that says a lot about the business, but my website anyway, I just couldn't deal with the fact that I had to promote myself.

[00:12:19] [SPEAKER_00]: Because this was before social media and stuff.

[00:12:21] [SPEAKER_00]: So this was my only window.

[00:12:26] [SPEAKER_00]: It had my portfolio and some videos, I think, but YouTube didn't have that very streamlined way of putting stuff up there at that time.

[00:12:39] [SPEAKER_00]: So I couldn't integrate YouTube videos on my site.

[00:12:45] [SPEAKER_00]: So I had to upload very heavy video files on my own, on my web server, not my own, but my web host server.

[00:12:56] [SPEAKER_00]: And it was very laggy and incredibly hard to do.

[00:13:02] [SPEAKER_00]: So I remember I hired a web designer for like all of my money, it was really expensive and he did a great job.

[00:13:12] [SPEAKER_00]: I had a nice website, but the text and the captions and the information on this website was so self-loathing because I thought that that would gain traction.

[00:13:28] [SPEAKER_00]: You know, if I so I remember like welcoming new visitors with saying, I'm sorry that you have to take part of my aggliness and general awfulness.

[00:13:44] [SPEAKER_00]: I don't know why I'm here.

[00:13:46] [SPEAKER_00]: I guess I have to show you what I do now.

[00:13:48] [SPEAKER_00]: So I tried to gain likes, I guess, before likes was even a thing by trash talking myself in a humoristic way.

[00:14:00] [SPEAKER_00]: And I mean, I still kind of like to do that.

[00:14:07] [SPEAKER_00]: Although I don't really think it works and I don't really think it ever worked.

[00:14:14] [SPEAKER_00]: Maybe like before I entered this branch, maybe like in the 60s and 70s and 80s.

[00:14:24] [SPEAKER_00]: Well, maybe well known people could do that.

[00:14:27] [SPEAKER_00]: Like if you were celebrity in the 80s, you could do that because everyone knew who you were and you didn't have to like brag because everyone knew and everyone was doing the bragging for you so to speak.

[00:14:43] [SPEAKER_00]: But today, no one's ever going to brag when you're behalf.

[00:14:53] [SPEAKER_00]: I actually talked with my sister about this this morning or talked.

[00:14:59] [SPEAKER_00]: I should modify that we wrote to each other via email.

[00:15:04] [SPEAKER_00]: It's really weird to email you're sibling.

[00:15:07] [SPEAKER_00]: You know, you could like, you would imagine that writing an email is a more formal thing to do.

[00:15:16] [SPEAKER_00]: Maybe you could keep it as a text message or like what's up or messenger or whatever, but we she emailed me and I emailed her back and she is into writing as I am.

[00:15:34] [SPEAKER_00]: Sadly, she hasn't been published. She's really good, but she's been.

[00:15:40] [SPEAKER_00]: She has this.

[00:15:43] [SPEAKER_00]: She has a heart disease, so she's been away from like,

[00:15:50] [SPEAKER_00]: main, the main work stage, like for almost her whole life.

[00:15:58] [SPEAKER_00]: She's, her daughter is grown up, so she, she's just, she has, I don't know what you call it.

[00:16:08] [SPEAKER_00]: The government, Sweden, the taxpayers in Sweden pay my sister to take care of herself and stay home because she can't work because of her heart disease.

[00:16:27] [SPEAKER_00]: So she has, it's a part of her, she's, she's an early retiree you could say.

[00:16:35] [SPEAKER_00]: In Sweden, we say, four kids, Pankwana because her heart disease is of that magnitude that she can't strain herself like in any capacity, stress wise or muscle wise.

[00:16:52] [SPEAKER_00]: Because her heart can't deal with that.

[00:16:56] [SPEAKER_00]: So she has a pacemaker which was implanted in her when she was very young.

[00:17:03] [SPEAKER_00]: And so she has one major thing that she does, she sits home and she writes.

[00:17:12] [SPEAKER_00]: And she writes fantasy novels and children's books and she's good.

[00:17:20] [SPEAKER_00]: She's talented and she has a lot of poetry in her and a lot of imagination.

[00:17:26] [SPEAKER_00]: And she hasn't been published. I guess because she's unpolished.

[00:17:36] [SPEAKER_00]: She needs to work with, she should really, she would really need an editor.

[00:17:44] [SPEAKER_00]: But this is not going to be about her.

[00:17:48] [SPEAKER_00]: I sometimes read what she writes and but I'm not the editor she needs because I know her and I love her.

[00:17:56] [SPEAKER_00]: She would really benefit from someone professional.

[00:18:05] [SPEAKER_00]: So she gets a lot of offers from so-called hybrid publishing companies.

[00:18:10] [SPEAKER_00]: Publishing companies that are have as a business idea to just, you pay a fee to them and they publish your book.

[00:18:21] [SPEAKER_00]: And there's a unique selling point is that they help you with the editing stuff and cover for your book.

[00:18:29] [SPEAKER_00]: And they distribute your book to all the major, buying channels.

[00:18:37] [SPEAKER_00]: And sometimes they also claim that they do PR for your book.

[00:18:40] [SPEAKER_00]: But I've worked a bit with those companies and my experiences that they don't really do much.

[00:18:47] [SPEAKER_00]: I mean, if you don't want to do anything of course, you can just pay them and they will just take whatever you've written and they will publish it.

[00:18:55] [SPEAKER_00]: But it publish doesn't mean that your book will automatically be read.

[00:19:04] [SPEAKER_00]: And I think that they are really sometimes the letter she gets are almost like fishing males.

[00:19:12] [SPEAKER_00]: You know, they are like I can see that they are trying to manipulate her because she has a dream.

[00:19:22] [SPEAKER_00]: So they teaser and they say that your material is really good.

[00:19:26] [SPEAKER_00]: It needs some polishing though otherwise it will never be published and we can contribute with that.

[00:19:35] [SPEAKER_00]: And the only thing we need is like this very hefty sum but that's okay because we take all the economic risk.

[00:19:43] [SPEAKER_00]: And I would really like to say to anyone who is considering this way of publishing your book.

[00:19:52] [SPEAKER_00]: Is that they don't really need for your book to do well?

[00:19:57] [SPEAKER_00]: Of course it can happen and of course it's a good thing.

[00:20:02] [SPEAKER_00]: When that happens but they don't really need you to be a successful or even good author.

[00:20:11] [SPEAKER_00]: They make a living out of your fees, you know that's their business idea.

[00:20:18] [SPEAKER_00]: They are not serious publishing companies and maybe I will get in trouble for saying this but that's my view of it anyway.

[00:20:32] [SPEAKER_00]: So, well this was about self-promoting.

[00:20:40] [SPEAKER_00]: So my sister, she emailed me this morning with yet another proposal from another publishing hybrid publishing company.

[00:20:51] [SPEAKER_00]: Which promised her a lot of good stuff if she just paid like this very hefty sum money which she doesn't have because if you thought that being this early retiree is like a very lucrative thing.

[00:21:07] [SPEAKER_00]: It's not she almost makes it through the week, through the month.

[00:21:14] [SPEAKER_00]: Her daughter is grown up which is a good thing because having a kid with that type of income is well it's not good.

[00:21:27] [SPEAKER_00]: So she's being spammed with like offers from those types of companies and there are a lot of them.

[00:21:37] [SPEAKER_00]: And she asked me what do you think of this because she really want to be published and I get that.

[00:21:43] [SPEAKER_00]: And I've been telling her you should just focus on just publishing your own material and I mean, if even if you're considering investing this type of money or any money into your authoring.

[00:22:09] [SPEAKER_00]: I'm pretty sure you're writing career. Why don't you just put that money into just building a hype around your own book and round your own own craft and publish your own material either online just as e-books or audiobooks.

[00:22:32] [SPEAKER_00]: Or like find a good print on demand company that doesn't take too much out of your earnings and sell your books on line and just build a hype, you know, you can do that now.

[00:22:54] [SPEAKER_00]: You don't need middleman.

[00:23:00] [SPEAKER_00]: That's what I want to say to everyone who's considering publishing like doing it through unconventional shelves.

[00:23:11] [SPEAKER_00]: Don't go through hybrid companies, just hybrid publishers.

[00:23:15] [SPEAKER_00]: Let's say if it costs like $5,000 to go through this hybrid publisher and they will then publish your books book.

[00:23:29] [SPEAKER_00]: And maybe you get an audio book into that but it's I doubt it.

[00:23:34] [SPEAKER_00]: You could maybe add that as a second service because then they hire a voice artist to just read it for you or maybe they just do it with AI.

[00:23:48] [SPEAKER_00]: But you could put all of that money into PR instead just you can just watch YouTube clip on YouTube clips on how to publish yourself and build hype around yourself and how you do PR in social media.

[00:24:08] [SPEAKER_00]: And it's easy by the way, you don't even need to have like well yeah of course sometimes you need to have like your own company to do it but it's not the case.

[00:24:23] [SPEAKER_00]: At all in all sense of the the matter, you can be a private citizen and just do this you know can buy ads.

[00:24:34] [SPEAKER_00]: You can buy exposure, you can do all of that in social media and you can grow like this small following but you need to work really hard.

[00:24:45] [SPEAKER_00]: And that's what these hybrid publishers are trying to make you feel that they will do all the hard work for you but they won't I promise you they won't.

[00:24:59] [SPEAKER_00]: They may you may be running into some some good soul at one of these companies and they will maybe help you and that maybe that's all you need, you know maybe that pushes all you need and by all means then just do it just.

[00:25:15] [SPEAKER_00]: Just throw it out there you know but it's not a guarantee they will not help you because they already got their money.

[00:25:30] [SPEAKER_00]: They're not counting on you to grow.

[00:25:32] [SPEAKER_00]: If they were it would have been so much harder for people to just get signed by these companies it's it's.

[00:25:45] [SPEAKER_00]: Some what shady although it's a perfect legal business and I mean.

[00:25:54] [SPEAKER_00]: And as I said you can do this and they can be a success but I doubt it so my sister is really.

[00:26:04] [SPEAKER_00]: She doesn't like to be her own drum she really she's really scared of that and I get that because I used to be I used to be that myself I used to fear.

[00:26:20] [SPEAKER_00]: I'm not having people look what I did I'm proud of this you know.

[00:26:27] [SPEAKER_00]: And but I think that's the only way and I would like to to hear like input from.

[00:26:36] [SPEAKER_00]: You sleepy how do you depending on where you are in the world.

[00:26:42] [SPEAKER_00]: Everyone says that Americans are so good at promoting themselves and their own business and success is like this good thing.

[00:26:52] [SPEAKER_00]: But in Sweden it's people and view if you're successful but they still don't want you to talk about it.

[00:27:00] [SPEAKER_00]: They envy you and maybe they get inspired by you sometimes but.

[00:27:05] [SPEAKER_00]: They don't want you to brag about it and tell everyone that you're a success.

[00:27:10] [SPEAKER_00]: That's why your person like Donald Trump is such a weird figurine Sweden because.

[00:27:17] [SPEAKER_00]: We would never trust someone who just keeps saying.

[00:27:21] [SPEAKER_00]: That he is his success like all the time we need some.

[00:27:28] [SPEAKER_00]: And maybe that's a good thing I mean in the case of Trump it's like absurd.

[00:27:33] [SPEAKER_00]: It's really absurd to see someone who's just.

[00:27:38] [SPEAKER_00]: Never wrong.

[00:27:42] [SPEAKER_00]: But I don't mean that self promoting is like the same as.

[00:27:49] [SPEAKER_00]: You in a Trump I think that.

[00:27:54] [SPEAKER_00]: Self promoting is first of all it's necessary I guess if you want to get somewhere.

[00:28:00] [SPEAKER_00]: When I was a kid and applied for acting school I read this interview with his famous Swedish actor.

[00:28:12] [SPEAKER_00]: And he.

[00:28:13] [SPEAKER_00]: He was at that time he was really big his name is Björn Schelmann and he.

[00:28:21] [SPEAKER_00]: He told the reporter about when he applied to acting school he was just.

[00:28:26] [SPEAKER_00]: A young kid and his friend was just I don't really remember but I think his friend just told him that.

[00:28:38] [SPEAKER_00]: You should apply to acting school or I'm gonna apply just tag along with me you know and he thought that okay I might as well try.

[00:28:47] [SPEAKER_00]: So he rehearsed this audition.

[00:28:50] [SPEAKER_00]: This audition monologue or whatever on the train.

[00:28:56] [SPEAKER_00]: Pilot on his way to the to the Malma city where they acting school which he worked about to apply to where and.

[00:29:07] [SPEAKER_00]: He just and they were all the jewelry the.

[00:29:12] [SPEAKER_00]: The school were like oh my god we need this guy is a genius and he just shrugged and then he became.

[00:29:19] [SPEAKER_00]: He became one of the more successful actors in Sweden.

[00:29:24] [SPEAKER_00]: And I thought that that was.

[00:29:27] [SPEAKER_00]: The way to go and I thought that talent and the fact that someone else needs to see your talent is the only way of making it.

[00:29:42] [SPEAKER_00]: And this should happen with me just shrugging and.

[00:29:49] [SPEAKER_00]: Just.

[00:29:50] [SPEAKER_00]: Stumbling into stuff you know without even putting it in the extra effort that's the way to make it and if you don't make it then you're a bad actor author writer dancer painter artist.

[00:30:08] [SPEAKER_00]: And of course that's not the case because I tried that approach but I.

[00:30:17] [SPEAKER_00]: Never got into any of the schools that I applied to with that attitude so then I decided.

[00:30:25] [SPEAKER_00]: That I was going to work like extra hard.

[00:30:29] [SPEAKER_00]: Which by that time with my standards at that time it wasn't really hard believe me.

[00:30:37] [SPEAKER_00]: And I remember I decided to rehearse my audition scene like 100 times or something which was this overly ambitious number.

[00:30:49] [SPEAKER_00]: At the time and I videotake myself and I wish I could find the tape because.

[00:30:56] [SPEAKER_00]: It's it would be really nice to see it.

[00:31:02] [SPEAKER_00]: Small tiny.

[00:31:05] [SPEAKER_00]: Nevorotic 18 year old handric.

[00:31:08] [SPEAKER_00]: Doing this I wrote my own scenes as well because I thought that it would be better if I did that.

[00:31:16] [SPEAKER_00]: And then I rehearsed them a hundred times and I videotake myself and I got a panic attack during the rehearsal and that's also on the tape and I would really like to see that.

[00:31:27] [SPEAKER_00]: I was a mess in case you're wondering.

[00:31:33] [SPEAKER_00]: And then after like this really hard struggle I got in and.

[00:31:43] [SPEAKER_00]: I think then something.

[00:31:46] [SPEAKER_00]: Struck me and that's I need to work because no one will make it for me.

[00:31:52] [SPEAKER_00]: I won't ever be discovered that type of world is a myth and honestly do I even want that type of world.

[00:32:09] [SPEAKER_00]: Do I even want that type of life where I'm just handed over from one situation to another.

[00:32:16] [SPEAKER_00]: Don't I want to reach my goals knowing that I work my ass off to get there.

[00:32:26] I.

[00:32:27] [SPEAKER_00]: I am a person living a life that is so privileged in so many ways.

[00:32:39] [SPEAKER_00]: But my dreams and my goals I need to work to reach them.

[00:32:44] [SPEAKER_00]: Since they're not a part of my privilege privilegeists as a white male living in the western world.

[00:32:57] [SPEAKER_00]: You know, I get that my dreams are not a part of that privilege.

[00:33:04] [SPEAKER_00]: My dreams are something outside of me, you know.

[00:33:10] [SPEAKER_00]: I could settle. I could very well settled with in like privileged, which I am in this unfair world because the world is unfair and not everyone has the same opportunities.

[00:33:32] [SPEAKER_00]: But I still have my dreams you know.

[00:33:36] [SPEAKER_00]: And I realized then but it took me many years to learn that no one's ever going to give that to me for free.

[00:33:45] [SPEAKER_00]: And again, I repeat, I know that I'm privileged.

[00:33:51] [SPEAKER_00]: I know and I'm not talking about this to shine a discomfortable light in anyone's eyes and just

[00:34:03] [SPEAKER_00]: I'm just a little bit more proud of my life because, well as I said, I don't consider myself perfect.

[00:34:12] [SPEAKER_00]: I have my own windows and my own measurements, which I'm comparing myself to.

[00:34:20] [SPEAKER_00]: So it's two different matters and I'm getting confused now.

[00:34:26] [SPEAKER_00]: What I was going to say, I'm sorry, what I was going to say is that I am slowly learning or I've rather I've slowly learned.

[00:34:37] [SPEAKER_00]: Through life that success isn't an automatic thing and I need to beat my own drum and I need to work like really hard if I want something to well become reality.

[00:34:55] [SPEAKER_00]: So I told my sister that you need to, you can't rely on other people, especially people who just say that they can make you a star because I don't believe people can just make someone a star.

[00:35:10] [SPEAKER_00]: Well, maybe if you're a star maker per se that you're the head of a major publishing company, you know, and you want to,

[00:35:21] [SPEAKER_00]: want to bet like a significant amount of money on making someone a star.

[00:35:29] [SPEAKER_00]: But it's not the same anymore.

[00:35:32] [SPEAKER_00]: It's not the same as it were when we were kids, me and my sister in Sweden in the 80s.

[00:35:38] [SPEAKER_00]: And that's a different world where like 10 people control the entire media industry and they were all dudes.

[00:35:51] [SPEAKER_00]: They were all both dudes.

[00:35:54] [SPEAKER_00]: And I mean, well maybe one or two of the dudes were hairy dudes, I don't know.

[00:36:04] [SPEAKER_00]: And I don't have anything against bold or hairy dudes.

[00:36:06] [SPEAKER_00]: It's just that it would have been nice if we were more, if we were more variety to the bunch and I still, I guess it's that's still an issue.

[00:36:25] [SPEAKER_00]: I'm trying to think ahead while I'm talking.

[00:36:30] [SPEAKER_00]: This is not my ideal way of doing this podcast because I am working really hard not to offend anyone.

[00:36:38] [SPEAKER_00]: I know that talking about privileges is like it's hard because I don't want to be perceived as this hated word political correct.

[00:36:52] [SPEAKER_00]: But then again, I sort of also agree with so many of the statements being referred to as politically correct, like for instance, that every person

[00:37:09] [SPEAKER_00]: and planet Earth should be entitled to be treated equal in all possible aspects.

[00:37:19] [SPEAKER_00]: And I also subscribe to the fact that that is not the case in the world.

[00:37:25] [SPEAKER_00]: I am not very interested in like the definition of being alive as being a winner or a loser.

[00:37:36] [SPEAKER_00]: I am not very fond of the idea that I either win or lose because I think life is bigger than that.

[00:37:45] [SPEAKER_00]: I think life is, well we don't even know what life is to begin with.

[00:37:53] [SPEAKER_00]: I'm not someone who promotes success as the goal of life.

[00:38:02] [SPEAKER_00]: I am not someone who promotes dogma or like fundamentalism.

[00:38:14] [SPEAKER_00]: I am an agnostic.

[00:38:15] [SPEAKER_00]: I am.

[00:38:17] [SPEAKER_00]: I was brought up a Catholic, but I don't consider myself religious in that sense anymore.

[00:38:26] [SPEAKER_00]: I think that it narrows me, but it's still it.

[00:38:33] [SPEAKER_00]: But I believe it my childhood in Christianity really enriched me because it gave me a language and a way of interpreting and understanding mystery and power and also like it's good to know.

[00:38:55] [SPEAKER_00]: What stuff is so now I'm.

[00:39:03] [SPEAKER_00]: Well, talking about religions or world views right now I'm mostly into Buddhism but I don't consider myself a Buddhist either so don't get alarmed or anything.

[00:39:17] [SPEAKER_00]: And the world, the world religion that I know least of is I, well of course maybe because of where I'm from it's Islam I guess.

[00:39:27] [SPEAKER_00]: I'm bringing brought up in a Christian country and having people around me that are Buddhists and well even Hinduists this Hinduists actually.

[00:39:45] [SPEAKER_00]: But I don't know any Muslims I think, I don't know.

[00:39:53] [SPEAKER_00]: Maybe I do but I don't know it.

[00:39:58] [SPEAKER_00]: Anyway, I don't have anything against religion at all.

[00:40:03] [SPEAKER_00]: I just think that for me personally I need to carry myself with a bit of a, I don't ever want to settle I guess I want to be curious and I want to be surprised and I want to learn new things as long as I'm on this planet.

[00:40:25] [SPEAKER_00]: Which I've been on in for six decades now or isn't more.

[00:40:33] [SPEAKER_00]: I mean, I am 49 so for how many decades how many decades have I seen?

[00:40:40] [SPEAKER_00]: I was born in 1975 so the 70s, 80s, 90s.

[00:40:46] [SPEAKER_00]: The 2000s and the 2010 and the 2000s, yes I have seen six decades come and go my friend.

[00:40:59] [SPEAKER_00]: I am so freaking old.

[00:41:04] [SPEAKER_00]: So you should really listen to me because I really know what I'm talking about and maybe this is the most profound thing you will ever hear during your entire lifetime.

[00:41:15] [SPEAKER_00]: Sorry.

[00:41:17] [SPEAKER_00]: I'm sorry.

[00:41:18] [SPEAKER_00]: That felt really hard to say.

[00:41:24] [SPEAKER_00]: Okay so maybe I should experiment a bit with this beating my own drum thing.

[00:41:31] [SPEAKER_00]: Maybe this is the venue for that.

[00:41:34] [SPEAKER_00]: Maybe this is the opportunity to practice beating my own drum.

[00:41:41] [SPEAKER_00]: And again I am very interested in wherever you are in the world.

[00:41:48] [SPEAKER_00]: I write me and tell me about how you and your peers in the particular place you live on in the world.

[00:41:59] [SPEAKER_00]: Tell me how you view self promoting and beating your own drum.

[00:42:06] [SPEAKER_00]: Talk in about yourself mentioning your good qualities.

[00:42:13] [SPEAKER_00]: So as I've mentioned this is hard for me but I'm going to try.

[00:42:20] [SPEAKER_00]: Okay so my name is Hendrick Stoll and I am a very beautiful 49 year old.

[00:42:30] [SPEAKER_00]: My hair is lustrous and blonde.

[00:42:35] [SPEAKER_00]: My eyes are blue and I look like this very epiphany of this Swedish dude.

[00:42:42] [SPEAKER_00]: Although I'm shorter than the average man in Sweden.

[00:42:47] [SPEAKER_00]: I am I make up for that with being like they're really funny and really smart and intelligent.

[00:42:55] [SPEAKER_00]: I'm one of the smartest people I know actually and I know a lot of smart people.

[00:43:02] [SPEAKER_00]: Okay I'm trying I'm starting to sound like the president I just expressed it and I just mentioned.

[00:43:09] [SPEAKER_00]: I don't want to over mention his name because he's like everywhere.

[00:43:13] [SPEAKER_00]: So but I don't want to make him into this.

[00:43:17] [SPEAKER_00]: You know like the guy who we shouldn't mention by name.

[00:43:23] [SPEAKER_00]: So I don't know.

[00:43:26] [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah well it's kind of fun to talk about yourself in that way isn't it?

[00:43:31] [SPEAKER_00]: You can just play with it.

[00:43:34] [SPEAKER_00]: Oh so I wanted to do that as well if you don't feel.

[00:43:39] [SPEAKER_00]: If you don't feel like writing to me and telling me about how you and your own world see self promoting maybe you can write.

[00:43:47] [SPEAKER_00]: To me and tell me about yourself but try to sound like this ex president.

[00:43:54] [SPEAKER_00]: It's a it's a very fun game.

[00:43:56] [SPEAKER_00]: I would like to make this into a recurring thing.

[00:44:00] [SPEAKER_00]: I would like it.

[00:44:01] [SPEAKER_00]: I would like us as a community sleepy to promote ourselves.

[00:44:09] [SPEAKER_00]: Not not for real but making fun it's a game you know talking about ourselves and our own.

[00:44:17] [SPEAKER_00]: You know qualities and performance in the same way that this guy does like for real because it's I mean in my eyes it's such a joke you know.

[00:44:30] [SPEAKER_00]: Because of course it's not true and everyone knows that no one is that perfect.

[00:44:37] [SPEAKER_00]: I mean it's common sense or though I hate the word common sense because what is common.

[00:44:42] [SPEAKER_00]: I don't know common for me could be like really extravagant for you.

[00:44:49] [SPEAKER_00]: Or vice versa.

[00:44:51] [SPEAKER_00]: Okay so sorry I'm gonna continue.

[00:44:56] [SPEAKER_00]: So I am like I'm very fit.

[00:45:01] [SPEAKER_00]: I work out like well I don't work out at all at the moment because I'm going through a very.

[00:45:08] [SPEAKER_00]: I'm going through a very terrible time in my life taking the driver's license and all.

[00:45:13] [SPEAKER_00]: So I haven't.

[00:45:16] [SPEAKER_00]: I haven't been working out but that it's it's it doesn't affect me.

[00:45:22] [SPEAKER_00]: I'm in such good shape.

[00:45:24] [SPEAKER_00]: I actually when I was out the other day.

[00:45:29] [SPEAKER_00]: And someone told me that oh my god you run up that hill like you were like in your 20s and I said yeah of course because.

[00:45:36] [SPEAKER_00]: I'm in great shape and people that I talk to tend to like me.

[00:45:44] [SPEAKER_00]: And people that I meet and be friend they tend to admire me and.

[00:45:53] [SPEAKER_00]: And want to be my friend like for real.

[00:45:57] [SPEAKER_00]: I'm attractive I'm extremely good looking actually it's not it's not very many people men my age that are so attractive as I am.

[00:46:07] [SPEAKER_00]: I am actually one of the most attractive guys in my age group in.

[00:46:13] [SPEAKER_00]: It's been Sweden and I have this huge following in Sweden.

[00:46:19] [SPEAKER_00]: I have these millions and millions and millions of of listeners.

[00:46:24] [SPEAKER_00]: Although we're just 10 million people here in Sweden but.

[00:46:28] [SPEAKER_00]: I think it's even more than that listening to me.

[00:46:33] [SPEAKER_00]: However, that's possible. I don't know the people tell me they tell me.

[00:46:37] [SPEAKER_00]: Oh my god, I'm starting to turn into him.

[00:46:41] [SPEAKER_00]: So they are telling me someone told me they're telling me you're the most listen listen to person in the world.

[00:46:49] [SPEAKER_00]: You're even more love than Santa they told me.

[00:46:53] [SPEAKER_00]: I don't know how that could be possible but it is we're looking into it right now and.

[00:46:59] [SPEAKER_00]: I'm sorry I don't want to talk like this when you're supposed to sleep.

[00:47:05] [SPEAKER_00]: I'm sorry sleepy for some reason my recordings of this English version of my podcast.

[00:47:17] [SPEAKER_00]: I perceive it as a must much faster process than the Swedish episodes although there's the same length.

[00:47:30] [SPEAKER_00]: I don't know why it's really fun to do this in English.

[00:47:38] [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, it truly is because I don't know.

[00:47:44] [SPEAKER_00]: I feel sort of different.

[00:47:47] [SPEAKER_00]: I feel like I'm getting to know myself all over again and it's cool.

[00:47:54] [SPEAKER_00]: I really think that we all would benefit from doing lengthy stuff in other languages.

[00:48:02] [SPEAKER_00]: I never thought that I would.

[00:48:07] [SPEAKER_00]: I would be able to do this properly, you know, because I.

[00:48:15] [SPEAKER_00]: Well, I never thought that I would be able to improvise the way I do in Swedish.

[00:48:21] [SPEAKER_00]: But in English and of course it's different.

[00:48:23] [SPEAKER_00]: It's a different process.

[00:48:27] [SPEAKER_00]: I mean words come easy to mean Swedish but that's the main surprise because I.

[00:48:35] [SPEAKER_00]: I think that words come quite easily to me in English as well.

[00:48:40] [SPEAKER_00]: And I don't know why I've grown that myth about myself within me.

[00:48:47] [SPEAKER_00]: That I'm that I'm bad at English because I, I don't think I am.

[00:48:54] [SPEAKER_00]: Of course the words doesn't come as easy and they go through different pathways in my brain, I guess.

[00:49:02] [SPEAKER_00]: But I think that even though even if I never work to reach my goal with this podcast of one million listeners all over the world,

[00:49:16] [SPEAKER_00]: maybe which if I'm to be honest, it doesn't.

[00:49:23] [SPEAKER_00]: It's not really realistic, you know,

[00:49:33] [SPEAKER_00]: but I mean why not have a goal.

[00:49:38] [SPEAKER_00]: And so that's my goal, but even if I won't reach that,

[00:49:44] [SPEAKER_00]: I believe that my personal benefits,

[00:49:47] [SPEAKER_00]: given this podcast is beyond that, I feel richer.

[00:49:54] [SPEAKER_00]: If not economically, then on a personal level because I get to do this.

[00:50:02] [SPEAKER_00]: And thank you Lord, it ordered,

[00:50:07] [SPEAKER_00]: for my Swedish podcast which is like my core business because that gives me that gives me.

[00:50:19] [SPEAKER_00]: That gives me the opportunity to do this pro bono so far because I don't earn any money to speak of from this English version.

[00:50:30] [SPEAKER_00]: Yet, but I'm going to be really rich.

[00:50:34] [SPEAKER_00]: I guess it's, I mean, I'm into this very lucrative market, the sleeping business.

[00:50:41] [SPEAKER_00]: Okay, now I really feel ugly. I'm sorry.

[00:50:46] [SPEAKER_00]: No, this is, this is huge sleepy.

[00:50:51] [SPEAKER_00]: That you're letting me in to this very private moment of yours that I get to be here and be your friend for a while.

[00:51:01] [SPEAKER_00]: I really appreciate that.

[00:51:04] [SPEAKER_00]: And this isn't really about sleep.

[00:51:08] [SPEAKER_00]: Sometimes I think of this sleeping thing to be, you know, a side effect of what I try to do.

[00:51:16] [SPEAKER_00]: Because I'm not trying to put you to sleep, although that's the main purpose of the podcast.

[00:51:23] [SPEAKER_00]: I'm putting you to sleep by not trying to put you to sleep.

[00:51:29] [SPEAKER_00]: That's my business idea and I'm so glad I get to do this every week.

[00:51:44] [SPEAKER_00]: So, well, I'm looking at my watch and it's there still eight minutes.

[00:51:53] [SPEAKER_00]: And that was a bit of a downer because I thought that I could round up now, but I could, I could start to summarize.

[00:52:07] [SPEAKER_00]: So in an in a doubtful effort to try and summarize my this episode,

[00:52:14] [SPEAKER_00]: I would say that I've been talking about the importance of self promotion without fear.

[00:52:21] [SPEAKER_00]: And that in Sweden at least, that's hard.

[00:52:26] [SPEAKER_00]: I know there are other cultures in the world where this eating your own drum thing is considered from the pond.

[00:52:40] [SPEAKER_00]: Most of my listeners though, most of sleepy lives in the USA.

[00:52:46] [SPEAKER_00]: And that's well, the rumor has it that you're quite good at promoting yourself and talking about your success in a very healthy way.

[00:53:08] [SPEAKER_00]: Why wouldn't we want?

[00:53:09] [SPEAKER_00]: Why wouldn't we like be happy for each other if something goes well for one?

[00:53:16] [SPEAKER_00]: It doesn't mean that it is that I automatically gets like,

[00:53:21] [SPEAKER_00]: like less of a deal, you know?

[00:53:27] [SPEAKER_00]: Why do we want to divide the world in terms of winners and losers?

[00:53:32] [SPEAKER_00]: And everything about humanity, everything about life really, it all comes down to which one has the power,

[00:53:45] [SPEAKER_00]: which one wins the power in every given situation.

[00:53:49] [SPEAKER_00]: That's such a negative and boring way of looking at the world.

[00:53:58] [SPEAKER_00]: I've never really been fond of competing.

[00:54:03] [SPEAKER_00]: Whenever there's a competition, I just withdraw.

[00:54:09] [SPEAKER_00]: You know?

[00:54:13] [SPEAKER_00]: I put myself out of it because it scares me.

[00:54:19] [SPEAKER_00]: And that's why taking the drivers test the other week was such a pain,

[00:54:24] [SPEAKER_00]: because it felt like a competition.

[00:54:28] [SPEAKER_00]: I need to like perform at a certain certain level and under pressure,

[00:54:35] [SPEAKER_00]: I just, I don't think I can.

[00:54:38] [SPEAKER_00]: And initially this was a problem for me even as an actor.

[00:54:43] [SPEAKER_00]: On the actor school, I was, well, I was low, see, I think.

[00:54:48] [SPEAKER_00]: And other people said that to me as well that I was a bad actor because I was,

[00:54:53] [SPEAKER_00]: and not bad actor as an evil person, an evil force, a bad actor like a staged performer.

[00:55:06] [SPEAKER_00]: And people actually told me that.

[00:55:09] [SPEAKER_00]: And sometimes I get really mad thinking about what's been said to me in the past,

[00:55:15] [SPEAKER_00]: because I was young, I was 19 years old.

[00:55:19] [SPEAKER_00]: So, you know, when someone tells you when you're 19 that you're really suck at the thing

[00:55:26] [SPEAKER_00]: that's your biggest dream and biggest goal in life, it could go either way.

[00:55:32] [SPEAKER_00]: You know? And for me, it really, well, I limped through acting school.

[00:55:43] [SPEAKER_00]: I had really, I had a great difficulty trying to make it.

[00:55:53] [SPEAKER_00]: So they told me I was bad and I, I was in the beginning because I didn't have any self-confidence.

[00:56:02] [SPEAKER_00]: And I also thought that since nothing of this comes like for free,

[00:56:09] [SPEAKER_00]: I am not very good.

[00:56:14] [SPEAKER_00]: I'm a bad actor. I'm a bad performer.

[00:56:19] [SPEAKER_00]: Because some of my classmates had like a much easier time.

[00:56:24] [SPEAKER_00]: At least I proceeded as that as such.

[00:56:29] [SPEAKER_00]: And, but I mean, of course, that was from my perspective.

[00:56:36] [SPEAKER_00]: Maybe we were all afraid.

[00:56:42] [SPEAKER_00]: For a long, long time, I thought that if I'm not going into a project or taking on a role

[00:56:49] [SPEAKER_00]: and are not being scared out of my mind, then it's not worth it.

[00:56:56] [SPEAKER_00]: I'm not doing a good job.

[00:57:00] [SPEAKER_00]: And today, I know that there's this fine line between being uncomfortable and being

[00:57:09] [SPEAKER_00]: Happens, feels safe. That's essential for making anything.

[00:57:16] [SPEAKER_00]: That matters good.

[00:57:19] [SPEAKER_00]: Because if you're too scared, then you will fail.

[00:57:22] [SPEAKER_00]: And if you're too comfortable, then it won't be very interesting.

[00:57:28] [SPEAKER_00]: Maybe that's why I really enjoy this because I feel uncomfortable for natural reasons.

[00:57:37] [SPEAKER_00]: This is not my first language.

[00:57:40] [SPEAKER_00]: And I am, this is so far quite small podcast, which no one in the world really...

[00:57:49] [SPEAKER_00]: Well, it's except for you sleepy.

[00:57:52] [SPEAKER_00]: But the main population of the world doesn't even know that this exists.

[00:58:01] [SPEAKER_00]: And so that gives me...

[00:58:06] [SPEAKER_00]: Well, it doesn't give me a self-confidence boost, which I guess it's a good thing initially,

[00:58:12] [SPEAKER_00]: since I also really enjoy doing this.

[00:58:16] [SPEAKER_00]: I really want to keep doing this sleepy.

[00:58:19] [SPEAKER_00]: I really want to do this together with you even in the future.

[00:58:24] [SPEAKER_00]: Like, here from now, I want to be able to say,

[00:58:27] [SPEAKER_00]: Wow, this has been a crazy ride so far. Let's keep going.

[00:58:36] [SPEAKER_00]: But then again, no one knows what'll happen.

[00:58:40] [SPEAKER_00]: Maybe I get 2 million people.

[00:58:46] [SPEAKER_00]: Probably I will.

[00:58:47] [SPEAKER_00]: You know, this podcast is such a genius podcast.

[00:58:51] [SPEAKER_00]: People tell me they tell me we've never heard such a beautiful contest.

[00:58:58] [SPEAKER_00]: We've never listened to a better podcast in our life.

[00:59:04] [SPEAKER_00]: I mean, Joe Rogan is like the biggest podcast in the world,

[00:59:09] [SPEAKER_00]: but people tell me, like experts in the field tell me that this...

[00:59:13] [SPEAKER_00]: Your podcast is so much better and it's even...

[00:59:19] [SPEAKER_00]: It's even funnier and it has even more interesting guests.

[00:59:24] [SPEAKER_00]: And well, all of the people that matter tend to listen to my podcast and not...

[00:59:31] [SPEAKER_00]: Max Friedman or Joe Rogan or any other huge major podcast in the world.

[00:59:42] [SPEAKER_00]: Sorry, I can't go out with this. I can't end on this.

[00:59:47] [SPEAKER_00]: It's fun and I want to keep doing it.

[00:59:51] [SPEAKER_00]: So if you want to make me laugh or cry or whatever, then write to me.

[00:59:56] [SPEAKER_00]: And describe yourself in a way that this very, very weird, expressiveness...

[01:00:10] [SPEAKER_00]: We describe himself.

[01:00:14] [SPEAKER_00]: Okay, I've taken enough of your time now.

[01:00:17] [SPEAKER_00]: I need to go put this episode out there.

[01:00:23] [SPEAKER_00]: I'm so glad to be able to do this. Bye-bye.