The Forest in the Blue

[00:00:00] Hi and welcome to Fall asleep with Henrik. I'm Henrik and you're sleepy and it is what it is. What happens happens and right now there is nothing we can do. Let's go.

[00:00:22] Hi sleepy. Hi. So welcome back to my humble abode. I almost forgot that part to say the humble abode part of the startup of this podcast.

[00:00:59] So I'm Henrik. I speak with my back pocket language, which is also known as English. I do this in Swedish every week and I've been doing it since 2018 and my sole purpose is to put you to sleep.

[00:01:21] Not in any weird macabre sense, but in like in the sense that just fall asleep, just fall asleep. So with that said, I'm not going to lull you into sleep. I'm not going to tell you how to relax and where to put your mind.

[00:01:42] If you can even put your mind somewhere. I'm just going to talk, improvise and whatever happens, happens. I might talk about stuff that initially doesn't seem to be a fit for a sleeping podcast.

[00:02:03] And that all depends, I guess, I guess on a variety of things. I get a lot of emails and DMs after episodes where I've talked about space, for instance, or my own pain, like emotional pain.

[00:02:22] I get emails saying, yeah, I get emails saying, yeah, I can really relate to that. And also some emails that say that doesn't really belong in a sleeping podcast because I need to be comforted and lulled into a state in which nothing really matters.

[00:02:41] And if that is your purpose, your goal within, in your own relationship with sleep, then this might be the wrong podcast. I don't know.

[00:02:55] I am of the opinion that what is, is, you know, you can't really change so many of the, so much of the stuff that goes around, that goes on around you is you can't change it in any way, in any real way anyway.

[00:03:19] The only thing that you can change is how you perceive it or what you do with it after you've perceived it. And maybe that's my school. Maybe that's my mythology. I kind of like the idea that anything really is calmness material. I can talk about like true trauma.

[00:03:49] And as long as I do it with calm intentions, then everything becomes sleep podcast material. So there are many new sleepies here. That's why I reintroduced the concept before I really get started. Although I've already got, I've already started. There's no real startup.

[00:04:20] Well, I guess there's a startup in a sense that I initially, I am kind of rusty. Isn't that weird? I, I've been doing this for two years now. And I've, in English, I've been doing this in English for two years.

[00:04:41] And you'd think that I get more comfortable doing it, but there's no such thing as comfortableness regarding creating an improvised sleeping podcast in a language different than your own. So the start, the starting sequences of these episodes, maybe they are what you're hearing right now.

[00:05:09] Me trying to find a path forward. It's like my mind is really a forest. And if you, if you imagine a forest and just being put there out of the blue, you're, you're in the blue and then all of a sudden you're put right into the very heart of a forest or, well, maybe you can't even tell if you're in the heart of the forest.

[00:05:38] It just feels like that because there's so much dense shrubbery around you. I like that I use the word shrubbery on a regular basis in this podcast. I don't know why, because shrubbery, I don't really think it's a, a word that people use in everyday, in an everyday sense. Like I need to go tend to the shrubbery. I don't know. Please feel free to reach out. There's a Facebook group.

[00:06:05] You can discuss the word shrubbery to great extent. But imagine you're in the blue, whatever that is. I guess all of us have different associations with the word blue. If you use it like a place, I'm in the blue. Today is a blue sky outside my window.

[00:06:36] And the city is beaming. The sun is practically throwing itself at Stockholm right now. And Stockholm is beaming back. Like, it's a love story. And it's a beautiful one. Although kind of broken because Stockholm is not a tan city. Stockholm doesn't have a tan.

[00:07:02] Stockholm is dwelled in darkness for most of the year. At least I know that for many people that live up north, they laugh when I say that because Stockholm is, I mean, it's not very, it's not like the most south in Sweden you can come. But if you look at the rest of the country, I mean, Stockholm is like in the south of Sweden. But it isn't. Now I get in trouble because people in the south of Sweden get angry.

[00:07:32] There's a lot of emotions regarding where people are and what goes on and what constitutes a certain area of Sweden. And we have a lot of pride in where we live. And we tend to fight for it. And I don't think that's a very attractive trait in the human condition. Anyway, so Stockholm doesn't really have a tan.

[00:08:01] It's a pale and shivering city being exposed by the frivolent sun. The sun is not shy. The sun is just throwing itself over you and all of the surface in this city. And everything is pale and dirty after the winter. But anyways, it's beautiful because the sun loves this broken city.

[00:08:28] And the city is warming up to love the sun right back. And that's in the blue for me. Right now. So imagine being in the blue. Or your equivalent of my expression. And then in the next second episode, you're in the forest. But it's a forest of your mind.

[00:08:59] And all around you, there are unfamiliar thoughts and concepts and ideas and facts. And beliefs and ideologies and questions. And you don't know what to do with any of it. You don't know what any of it means. There are so many things that are... Sorry.

[00:09:27] I got a message on my Apple Watch right now. Just now. And that told me to keep fighting. Okay. So that was weird. It was an exercise reminder. Keep fighting. Close your rings. Whatever. I get so stressed out by these Apple things. I really love my watch. I don't want to... This is not a sponsored segment.

[00:09:55] But I love the fact that I can... Like use my watch in so many other aspects than just measuring the time. But I also really hate being constantly reminded to close my rings. If you don't use an Apple Watch, that means that... It's a notification to keep active. You know? And I find that really stressful. But I... So far, I haven't turned it off.

[00:10:25] So it's something... That means something, I guess. I don't know what. But it's... It just now reminded me to keep fighting. Which is... Kind of what I do. Don't give up, Henrik. Just keep fighting. So that's what I'll do. Right in the middle of this... Mind forest that I'm in. And you too now. Apparently. Because I just told you to.

[00:10:54] I ordered you to dwell in this mind forest of yours. So we're in there. You're in your... You're in yours. And I'm in mine. And... All around us there are unknowingness. And fog. Maybe there's some mist covering the forest. There's such a trollish aspect of forests. Don't you think? Sleepy.

[00:11:24] Standing in a forest with mists. Several different separated mists. Just... Taking each other's... Spots. Like fighting for... The space... Around you. No. It's just one mist. Like really... Everything in the universe... Is like mist. Have you ever thought about that sleepy? Now I... I would like you to...

[00:11:53] For one second... Abandon your... Mind forest... Kind of thing. And instead... Focus on the... The fog. Or the mist. The mist. Maybe the... The mist is a better word. Because everything is a mist really. And I don't... Mean just materials. It could be views. You know. Point of mind. Point of mind. Can you say that? Points of... Points of interest. Points of...

[00:12:22] Aspects of your mind. The trees in your mind forest can be mists really. Because everything really blurs into one another. If you look at it close enough. Everything is surrounded by these... Voids. Which really is a mist. A mist is... Like very sparsely placed particles of water. And that's why... They... It appears as a mist. And not just this solid...

[00:12:52] Thing. You know. Or liquid thing. It's... It's a gas. And that means that the particles are separated. Is it? I don't really know. Anyway. So... A concrete thing is to think about... Like... The surface of... Your kitchen counter. Which may or may not be of any... Of some... Hard material. Like... Firm...

[00:13:22] Fast material. Fast. Like... Firm. Fast means... High speed. But in Swedish if you say fast... That means... Like firm. So firm... Firm surface. And you can grab it. And you can hold on to it. And you can slam things into it. And they will... Or will not break. Depending on the fragility of... Said... Object.

[00:13:52] And... You... And... Okay. So you can grab on to that surface. But... All in all... If you zoom into it close enough... That very firm surface becomes this mist. Everything is a mist. And everything blurs and... Seeps into one another. And I think that's so beautiful. Because then... The world becomes less of a thing with...

[00:14:20] Very sharp lines between what object and... The surrounding area. It becomes more of a... Watercolor painting... Painting where... Colors just seeps into one another. And I think that's really beautiful. That's a very... Really... Horribly beautiful... Thing to think about. That nothing is really separated from anything else. And at the same time...

[00:14:49] Everything is separated at an atomic level. So there is nothing... There is no such thing as... Like complete objects. We can make distinctions. You know... But they are... This is a tree. You know... This is a bird. But... That's got... Nothing to do with... The real world. Really. Because... If you look close enough...

[00:15:18] Then everything blurs into... One another. And I think that's really beautiful. So in a way... It's a lonely thing to think about. That nothing really... Connects into one solid thing. But at the same time... It's cool. Because then you're like... This seeping watercolor thing... That seeps into other aspects of life. Other aspects of reality.

[00:15:47] And to me that's beautiful. So... Can we go back to the forest now please Henrik? Please Henrik. I can hear you. All the way from Arizona... Where you're currently listening. If you're not listening in Arizona... This message will... Miss you. And it will miss you in... Including you in it. But then again I could say...

[00:16:16] Arizona and... If you happen to be in... A place anywhere... In the rest of the world... This also applies to you. So I can hear you from wherever you are. Even if you're next door to me... Right now. I can hear you screaming... From the top of your lungs. Please bring me back into the mind forest. I was in the blue. And now I'm in this... Misty void. And that my friend...

[00:16:45] That is if you call me... If you refer to me as a friend. Maybe we don't know each other that well yet. To be... Calling each other friends. But you're my friend Sleepy. Yeah you are. I mean... Okay so that's weird. I mean we don't know each other. If you don't happen to be... One of the listeners... One of the Sleepy's that actually know me. But... There are quite few. There are not a lot of my friends...

[00:17:16] And family that listens... To my English podcast. I'm not sure that... People that know me... Thinks that this is... Anything really. I haven't really experienced... From my own world... And my own... Like surrounding social circuit... Any like appreciation for... This I'm doing.

[00:17:45] I think that... They have this... I guess it's a vigil... Kind of skepticism... Towards trying out stuff... That doesn't really... Streamlined... That isn't really streamlined... Into what... The other stuff that you're doing. So this is a... Weird excavation... It's a weird expedition... Into something unknown... And I guess... Some skepticism... Is to be expected...

[00:18:18] But I get a lot of... Appreciation and... I mean just... Reach out from you guys... From sleepies... All around the world... And I encourage you... To keep doing this... I read everything... That I get... I can't answer everything... But I read everything... And I keep it... In a little... Folder... No, that was a lie...

[00:18:48] I don't have a folder... I guess they're in my... Inbox somewhere... Or in my DM sections... But I don't have them... Like... Catalog... Cataract... Oh my god... I don't have a cataract... I don't have... A Cadillac... And I don't have... A cataclysm... On my hands... What I do have... Is... A lack of knowledge... In the English language...

[00:19:17] Which I promote... So rudely... Around the internet... For money... Please... Pay me for my lack of... Knowledge... In the English language... So... How are you doing... In this mind forest... Sleepy? I... I wonder... Can you tell me... If there's anything... That you recognize... Within... That forest of yours?

[00:19:47] Can you see any... Familiar shapes? Anything that sounds... Or smells... Or... Looks like... Something that you might have known... Back in the day... I have this feeling... Every time I go to... A small Swedish city... Which I don't... Well... I might have been there before... But I don't have... Any relationship to the city... As is... But...

[00:20:18] In... Sweden... We've had this... I guess this... Is the case... In many places in the world... We've had this... I don't know if the word is gentrification... No, I guess it's not... But it's... It's like this... Conformity process... That has been going on for decades... And every city center... In every city... Looks almost the same... In every small... Town in Sweden...

[00:20:47] This doesn't apply to... Absolutely every city... But a lot of cities have... This main street... And this galleria... And... The same brands... The same stores... And there's a church... At one end... And maybe a school... Or a... Some sort of communal... County building... At the other end... And... In Sweden... It's called Folketshus... Which is like...

[00:21:17] Roughly means... House of the people... Which is kind of cool... I guess you can call it... County hall... Or... Community building... Or whatever... But it's a very... Great initiative... And... During my years... As a touring actor... Which is like... 20 plus years of my life... I've been in... Like almost every... Folketshus... In Sweden... And they...

[00:21:47] They... Show up a variety of... Different... Patina... Like some of them... Are really fresh... Some of them are even... New built... But most of them... Are built in the 60s... Or 70s... And are... Old... And withered... Some of them... Aren't used... On a regular basis... Some of them are just... Standing there... Some of them are used... Very often...

[00:22:17] And... It's been... A privilege... To travel around the country... And just see... All these different types... Of... Attention... Being paid to... These very important buildings... I mean... It's... We should really have places... To gather... Don't you think? Places that are not... Facebook... Or...

[00:22:45] Other social media feeds... I really thought that... Facebook was dead... That's my mistake... Uh... I never use... Facebook myself... Except for when I post stuff... At my... Groups regarding my... Different podcasts... And... My... God... Have I been... Surprised by... The turn up... In these events...

[00:23:15] I'm not... I'm not going to say... Much about... The English... Speaking... Support group... For... This particular podcast... Because it's practically... Dead... Empty... No... It's not empty... There's a lot of people there... But no one ever says anything... And... I guess it's like... Have you ever heard about... This analogy of the dark forest? It has to do with aliens... So there's a lot of theories...

[00:23:44] About why we don't see... Or hear anything from the... All the aliens... That presumably are... All around us... And everywhere... I mean... It's strange that we have this... Vast galaxy... And... Outside of that... It's just... Billions and billions of galaxies... And it's very weird... That we haven't seen... Anything... Even resembling life... Regardless of... Intelligence level...

[00:24:12] We don't even see it on... Like... Spectrums... When looking at compositions... Of atmosphere... We could... In theory... See signs of life... In the atmosphere... But we don't... We don't do that... We haven't seen anything... So as far as we know... You and I are sleeping... And the rest of the people here... We are... Totally... Utterly... Alone... And that sounds... I mean... That's so weird... It sounds fake...

[00:24:41] Don't you think? Now... I'm not going to be... One of the podcasters... That says... There are aliens... And... These are the proof... You know... Because I don't know... Uh... This... Very well... May be... The truth... Sleepy... I mean... It's weird... Because... I think it's weird... It's not weird... Because... Weirdness... Weirdness... Weird is real... You know... So this could very well be one of the weird factors...

[00:25:14] About... Existence... That you and I... And all of the other life forms on planet Earth... Are the only ones that really... Do that... Live... In the whole... Of this gigantic... Monstrous universe... That... Constantly grows... Around us... So anyway... The theory of... The theory of the dark forest is... I could have... I can...

[00:25:44] Maybe I... I'm wrong here... So please don't quote me on this... But as far as I understand it... It's about... So... If we think about the universe... As a forest... A forest... A dark forest... And there's a lot of... Entities... Lying around in this forest... But people... I mean... These entities... These creatures... I... I say entities... Because... This could be like... All sorts of... Type of...

[00:26:13] Creature... They're in this forest... And they're silent... Because... There's... There's... A risk involved... If you speak up... If you... If you... Herald... That you're here... Then... There could be other... Entities... Out in this deep... Forest... That... Isn't kind... And that you could put yourself in danger... If you just say hello... Or if you light a fire...

[00:26:42] And that's the reason... Why people... We don't see any life... In... The universe... Because... Civilizations... With the technology... Or... Whatever... To... Show us... That they're here... Are wise enough... To keep their mouth shut... And we don't know why yet... And we haven't learned... So we keep signaling... You know... I really...

[00:27:13] I'm not trying to... Like... Make this a scary thing... I think it's fascinating... And it's also exciting... And it's also... Kind of... Nerve tingling... In a way... To think about us as... Children... You know... That hasn't really learned... To keep quiet yet... I... I... I'm... Stopping there... I'm not going to... Take that... Train of thought... Any further... Because... It's just thoughts... Sleepy...

[00:27:41] And there are no... Harming thinking... And harming... Fantasizing... So anyway... That's my theory... To why it's... So quiet... In the Facebook group... For fall asleep with Henrik... Because... You know... It's a risk... Speaking up... Being the first... That says something... Being the... The one that stands out... And says... Hi... I'm here... You know...

[00:28:11] Then... You get the attention... Of a lot of... Entities... That you don't really know... What is this group? There's a lot of Swedes here... Why are they even here? Do they understand... If I write something in English... You know... Yeah... But if you feel brave... Sleepy... I... I urge you... No... I'm not... I'm not urging... I'm saying... I'm just saying...

[00:28:41] Being brave is... That's cool... You know... I just think you're cool... Have... The forests around... Forests... Are the forests around you... Less dense now? To me... It's starting to... Spread out... The mist... Is almost gone... I can see...

[00:29:10] A bit of sunshine... Seeping through... The shrubbery up top... I've used the... Term... Seeping through... I have recently... Sort of... I... I just... Well... I've recently just... Discovered a song... With that... Phrase in it... And... The... Song...

[00:29:38] And the artist has... Kind of... Moved me... And... I think it's... Well... This particular artist sings about it... In terms of colors... Colors seeping through... And I think it's... It applies to so much... I mean... Not just... Colors seeping through... That could mean... A whole lot of things... But also...

[00:30:10] The things I referred to earlier... With the mist... You know... I kind of like that... The analogy of watercolors even more... That things just... Bleed into each other... I guess bleeding is... A word that... A word that... Awokes... All sorts of feelings... But... It's... It has to do with the heart... Right? So... Everything... That bleeds... Is really a good thing... In a way... If you look at it... In a very non-harmful way... Like... Colors for instance...

[00:30:39] That bleeds into each other... It's got heart... In... That... There are so many... Con... Consonants... Like... It's a very... Takete... Ko... Ke... Pe... Like... And...

[00:31:10] English is softer... And... It's hard to... Sometimes when my mind moves... Faster than my mouth... Which is... Generally the case... Most of the time... Then this... Staccato... Kind of thing... And I am... On the floor... Like a beetle... On my back... Trying to get a bearing... But I don't...

[00:31:39] There is no bearing... There is no airing... There is no... Wiring... Going all the way up... Into my brain... And then... This happens... It doesn't bother me... So much anymore... Initially... I edited out... Most of the things... When I... Made... Word scrambled... Word scrambled... Like this...

[00:32:09] I feel... I still feel... Kind of ashamed... When this happens... But... I don't... Let it influence... How I... How I... Present myself anymore... It is what it is... You know... I have stuff to say... But I don't... I don't really... All the times... Get it out there... Get it out there... Because... My brain is what it is...

[00:32:38] My language is... Not this... And... Most of life anyway... Is just taking a guess... And then... Go with it... That's why you will... From time to time... Hear words in this podcast... That don't really apply... Or exist... At all... For that matter... They will just... Serve... Like... A purpose that is...

[00:33:06] Only valid at this particular moment... Like the word... Franagma... Which is like... A word that doesn't mean anything... And... It only... Holds the purpose to... Explain... What I'm talking about... Whatever it is I'm talking about... And you don't have to listen to this... By the way... You can just... Sleep... Through all... Throughout all of this... Or you can... Stay awake... And you can... Take notes... Okay...

[00:33:34] So let's do an experiment... Sleepy... I do this with my Swedish listeners... A lot... I give... My listeners... My sleepies... I give them... Small missions... That they can do... At their own leisure... So... I have this mission for you... This mission is... Wherever you are... In the world... Right now... I want you to... Say something... Out loud... If it's like...

[00:34:04] If you're in a safe environment... I don't want to do... I don't want you to do stuff... That would... Hurt someone's feelings... Or... Harm anything... You know... In a serious sense... I want you to say... Like a very weird thing... I don't want it to be... An insult... Or a threat... Or anything like that... I want it to be weird... And out of context... If you're alone in the dark... That's even better... Because then...

[00:34:33] Only you would know... That this thing... Have been set... You know... And I... I could give you... Examples of weird stuff to say... But... That would... Take away... The fun of it... I think... So... What I mean... With weird stuff... Is... Things that are so out of context... But still... That it... It's so out of context... That it... You know... You could feel it... It's clearly... A weird thing to say...

[00:35:03] But I don't want it to be... Funny weird... Like... Crazy... Clown banana... Like... That's... It's... It's like... You're... Putting too much of an effort... Into being weird... You know... So... For me... Generally... When I think about weird stuff... I tend to go towards... The more specific areas... About weirdness... Like... I think about specifics... Like...

[00:35:32] Screws in a car... Or... A particular... Type of cloud... Or... Someone's... Eyelashes... You know... Details... And specific facts... And these facts are... Then... Weird... And again... I'm not going to give examples... Because... Then I would lead you... I guess weird for you is... What weird for you is... Whatever that is... So...

[00:36:01] I want you to... When I say go... I want you to say this... Weird thing... Out loud... I don't want you... I don't want you to scream it... Or... Present it in any... Like... Dogmatic... Pompous way... I want you to... Just say it... Like... With a clear voice... If you can... I don't want you to wake up your spouse... Or your child... Or your... Dog... Or whatever...

[00:36:29] But if you can... I want you to do it... And... Because then I know... Then I know that... My small... Weird action... From Stockholm, Sweden... Like... Made this... Rings on the water... From my... Small... Futile perspective here... In my little... Studio... Out to you... Wherever you are... And then... In a way... We're the same... You and I...

[00:36:59] And that's so tickling to me... I... I love that... I love that thought... That right now... As you listen... You and I get connected... Not in any weird way... Not in any... Like... Cringe way... It's just... In a very wholesome sense... That you and I... Are human beings... That together experience... Whatever goes on... At this very moment... And these... This very moment...

[00:37:28] Is a very weird one... Because it's separated in time... My moment here... Is now... And your moment... Is... In the future for me... But for you... It's now... And my voice... Is a segment... Coming from... To you... From... The past... Which is so weird... And so fascinating... And I really love that... Way of thinking... And... I'm... Urging you...

[00:37:57] To say this weird thing... Now... I... I can give you 10 seconds... To come up with something weird to say... Just for the sake of it... So I'm starting now... One... Okay... So now... If you... If you're part of this... If you're part of this game... Then... You're... You have a word... Or a phrase... Or a sentence...

[00:38:27] Or whatever... So now... When I say go... I want you to say the word... Are you ready sleepy? Are you really truly ready? Okay... Go... I think it's so cool... I don't... I can't explain really why... But I really... I... I get... All teared up here... I think it's so cool... That we share this... Thing... And I mean...

[00:38:56] It's not just you and me... Sleepy... It's you... And all of the other sleepies... So... You now share something... Totally random... With... A select few people... Around the world... And... You don't even know each other... You can pass one on the street... And... You wouldn't know it... And I really think that's a beautiful... Very...

[00:39:27] Exciting way to think about... Your time here on earth... Because I... Okay so... Let me just put it out there... I really do... Think that... The meaning of life... Is being here... On earth... That's just it... You know... Your point... Of living... Is living... And I've said that before... In previous episodes... I guess...

[00:39:57] Your point... The point of life... Is living... And nothing else really... I mean... It could be... Several other things... That you... Decide is the purpose of life... But that's just you... You know... The only thing that we really have in common... Is... That we live... Right now... You and I... And that we just shared something... Weird and specific... And... Unimportant... And...

[00:40:26] In that way... Very important... Because I think that... We really need to give space... To unimportant... Quote unquote... Unimportant things... Otherwise... I think we get lost in... The importantness... Of this... Time... That we live through... Everyone is so serious... And those who are not serious... Are like... Joking on the surface...

[00:40:58] We can joke about serious stuff... And we can cry about it... At the same time... I think... I truly really think... That that's possible... That's... That that's doable... Sleepy... And that it also should... Be done... We really should be... Joking and crying... And laughing... And sighing... At the same time... For me... Life gets so much harder...

[00:41:27] If that weren't an option... If that weren't my scapegoat... You know... Scapegoat might be... The wrong term here... I recently learned... That it's not an escape... Goat... Like a goat... That you use to escape... Which it gives a lot of images... In my mind... And I don't really know why... I've never thought about the word... And what it truly means... So... I still don't know what it means... But I know it's not an...

[00:41:56] Escape goat... I know... I know it's a scapegoat... But... It's more fun to think about it... As this... Constantly ready... Goat... That you have... In case you need to escape... You know... If you're... If you're expecting... A child... And you have a bag... A bag... Packed... With essentials... In case you need to go to the hospital... To do... To deliver... That's the escape goat... But in this case...

[00:42:26] It's not a bag... With essentials... It's... It's a goat... Like the animal... And... It's ready... You know... It's locked and loaded... You know... Because you might... Be in a situation... Where you say something... At a party... Maybe... Speaking about pregnancy... Maybe you're saying something like... Oh... You're expecting to someone... And that person... Isn't expecting... And then... It's a very social... Awkward... Situation...

[00:42:55] And then you can just take the... Escape goat... You know... Because it's... She's right there... And she's looking at you... Like... Is it... Is it time? Should we... Split this joint? And you're like... Yeah... Yeah dude... Let's split this joint... And then you just... Climb up on this... Goat... But we did not climb... Goats aren't huge... By default... Goats are kind of small... Animals...

[00:43:25] So you just... Take a very... Big step... And then you're... On the back of the goat... And then the goat just starts... Running for it... You know... Running for the... Nearest exit... And since at this party... Everyone is having... Everyone's having... Their own escape goats... So it's about 50-50... Humans... Goat... Ratio... Ratio... Ratio... So...

[00:43:53] Almost always... In case of really... Brave examples of people... Going at it... Without... Escape goats... Present... But most of the time... Like... In political situations... When artists... Perform... At parties... At baptisms... In... Giving birth... You know... You have your escape goat... Standing there... And we don't give them credit enough... Sleepy...

[00:44:23] We just don't... I mean... Imagine the share willpower... To just stand there... Because we don't pay them... Apparently... I just read... In news article... In... In... The Economist... I think... We don't pay our escape goats enough... Well... Nothing really... It's just grass... And... Goat's milk... Which is weird... Because... It's the same thing that they produce... I don't know... Who came up with that brilliant idea...

[00:44:53] But it's... I mean... It's... It's appalling... Really... But... Still we do... We have these balls of grass... And... These... Like... Pacifiers... Containing... Is it a pacifier? Or what do you call... A bottle... With a pacifier on top... Which we give to... To babies... What do you call it? In... In Swedish... We call it the pacifier... Bottle...

[00:45:22] Bottle... I said the word bottle... Like I was a butler... From... The north of England... And the sleepiest in north of England... Is like... What do you mean? It sounded more like you're from Russia... And the people in Russia are like... What do you mean? It sounds like... You're speaking... You're speaking... Like... From a galaxy... In another... Part of the universe... All together... And then you would... You would be...

[00:45:51] Practically correct... Sleepy... Because I... Apparently... I'm not... Real... Like... Right now... I am not... And when you're listening... When you're listening to me... Okay... So now I'm really far out... I'm sorry... But... Maybe you're asleep anyway... But right now... As of right now... When you're listening to my voice... The... The one... That is me... The me within me... That are talking to you... Are no more...

[00:46:22] Are no more... And I don't mean that... In any fatal sense... I mean it... Like literally... Time changes us... So... The very particular me... That is me right now... It's gone forever... When you... Are listening to my words... Which is a few days from now... And... That's cool... Isn't it? That's a cool thing... Again... I'm not... Talking about it in any... Like... A dramatic... Or fatal sense...

[00:46:51] It's... It's just that... Every second that... Passes... Something within us... Change... Or... Maybe... Doesn't even change... Maybe the thing that... Observes me... The thing that I... Experience as me... Maybe that's just... Eternal... And... In... In... In... Eternal... The eternal part of it... Means that it's not... Stale... It's not fixed...

[00:47:22] Which means that... Every second... That it manifests itself... Is truly... A unique moment... And even... Measuring it in seconds... Is the wrong way to measure it... Because... Time doesn't apply... So you can either look at it as... Okay... So... Me... Or you... Or any observing... Entity... Is... Eternal... It's just the vessels that...

[00:47:52] Disappear... So then maybe... I will still be here... At the time... Of your now... Sleepy... Maybe then... Me... As in me being me... Will still be around... But then again... That would fix... The me... That would... Lock it into place... That's stressful... I don't believe in that... I don't believe that...

[00:48:21] There is such a thing... As a fixed state... I believe... It is a flowing... Constantly changing... Everlasting... State... And... According to that theory... By the time you hear... This episode... Not only... Will... The me... That I am experiencing... Right now... Be changed... In terms of ideology... And... Ideas...

[00:48:51] And... Physical circumstances... I mean... I could... Break my toenail... Tomorrow... And that would change... Things for me... Small... But still... But also... In the very... Fabric of just... The me-ness... Not the me-ness... Like in mean... But in... Me being me... The me... The me... Ness... The meanest me-ness... Is demeaning...

[00:49:20] Say it again... The meanest... Meanest... Is demeaning... Demeaning... Is the meanest me-ness... Please print that... On a t-shirt... And sell it... For 100 million... US dollars... And... See who buys it... Okay... So I guess I really... Spaced out... Right now... But then again...

[00:49:49] I'm known for these things... I was talking about... Escape goats... Which is funny... And... It's a funny and weird way... Of looking at... Stuff... Because they are not real... Of course... There are no goats... That we people use... In need... If we need to escape... Difficult or... Awkward situations... There could... It could be social... Blunders... But it could also be... Like really dangerous situations... Like for instance... You're in the jungle... And you're being chased by... This tiger...

[00:50:21] Then of course... Having a goat at hand... That would be... Like there for the sole purpose... Of taking you to safety... Would be... Kind of a good thing... The only thing that... Really is bothering me... In that scenario... Is that goats... Are generally... Good prey... For tigers... I mean... I'm not sure... About the... If a goat... Is a meal of choice... For a tiger... But I mean... If I were a tiger... And I would see a goat... I would think... Yeah...

[00:50:49] That's totally doable... Like I could eat that... In a minute... And the goat would... Probably the same... In the same... Manner... Feel that like... I am not... Really considering... Going in the direction... Of that tiger... I think that... This would lead to my demise... Well maybe the... The goat doesn't use... The word demise... The goats are... Generally really...

[00:51:19] On... Nonverbal... Beings... You know... You can't really... Talk to a goat... About Nietzsche... Or... You know... The... The mysticisms... Of... Deep... Buddhism... You can't really... Talk about... Dharma... With... With... With a goat... Unless I'm wrong... And I could be wrong...

[00:51:50] I'm probably wrong... I mean... What do I know? But then... That was my argument... Against... Escape goats... And again... If you're just tuning in... I know it's not called... An escape goat... It's just a funny play... With a word... Right now... So... I need to say this... From time to time... Because some people... Zone out... You know... Fall asleep... And then they wake up... And then they... Find themselves... Flustering with anger... And hate...

[00:52:20] Because I said the word wrong... I'm sorry... Sleepy... No... No it's not... That doesn't really happen... The only criticism... I have received so far... This podcast is still a small one... So I know that... It will be more... If the podcast grows... But the only real... Tangible criticism... That I've received so far... Is... That I use... I speak...

[00:52:50] Too much staccato... In order for people... To fall asleep... And feel relaxed... And I can buy that... That I can't... Change though... I... I could... Seek out a dialect... Coach... But I mean... What would that give me? I mean... That would only cost me money... And take time... And... I'm not even sure... That would... Fix things... I am what I am... That's the trouble man... And... And the other...

[00:53:20] Tangible... Sort of criticism is... That sometimes I... Say stuff about... Especially American... Domestic policies... Politics... And I talk about... Yeah... Like the political... Landscape... Of the United States... And like I knew something... Like I... Like I... Like I would have...

[00:53:49] Like a clear... View of what's actually... Going on... And I don't... So I've had a few emails... Explaining to me that... Please... Don't... Try to... Fake... Knowing what it's like... Living here... And... Yeah... The only thing that I can say... To my defense in that regard is... You're... You guys are sort of... In our faces... You know... It's hard to look away...

[00:54:19] Because it's... Um... You're everywhere... I'm not sure if this goes... This applies all around the globe... I guess there are countries... That don't pay as much attention... But in Sweden... We really do... It's everywhere... And it's kind of a big deal... What goes on... You know... I'm not saying that... Big things doesn't go on... In other places... But we kind of... Go through this together... With you guys...

[00:54:51] Maybe that could be... A thing of comfort as well... Maybe a... A source of anger as well... In the case of these... These two people... That have written me... About this... They're kind of... They were kind of... Angry... Not angry like... I've done something... I'm forget... Forgive... That they can't forgive... But... Like... I was this small bug... Annoying them... You know... And they...

[00:55:19] Used me in an example... Of different Europeans... That just... Trash talks the states... Without even... You know... Really knowing... And... I can relate... I can truly relate... The same goes with... Like almost any country... And Sweden... There are so many prejudices... About... This country... And how we live... And what we think... And... One of the... Most...

[00:55:49] Stubborn... And... Myths... About Sweden... Is that... We have... Like a very high... Suicide... Suicide rate... And that has... I mean... Truly sleepy... Never been true... I mean... Swedes... We... We have that problem... As any country in the world... There's no... No doubt about that... But... The thing that... Because... We killed God... In a way...

[00:56:17] That's the myth... Swedes are a very secular people... So we don't go to church and... Well... We do... But not... Not... As many as in other countries... And... This was... An American president... I can't remember which one... Maybe it was Nixon... That said this in an interview... That Swedes have the highest... Suicide... Suicide rate in the whole world... And that's just this... Election propaganda thing...

[00:56:47] It's not true... And it's never been true... We're actually... Well... We're not the happiest... Scandinavian country... Actually... Finland is one of the happiest countries... Like... Overall... And... But... So... I think we're... Down a few pegs... We have issues... You know... There are turbulence here... There are... Cataclysms... Between people... And ideas...

[00:57:18] As with... Like the rest of the world... I guess... But that's a myth... It's also a myth... That we're all very tall... And all very blonde... That's just not true either... I am for instance... 1.72... Kilometers... Long... That was... I... I misused the word... Because I felt... Felt like it... I am not... 1.720...

[00:57:47] 720 meters... Tall... I am... 1 meter... And 72 centimeters... Above ground... That is... I'm a short guy... I am... Also kind of small... Like... I have... My wrists are very... Slim... Like... Tiny... When I was a kid... My bullies... They could hold... Both my hands...

[00:58:17] With one hand... Because I had so tiny wrists... And that was very practical... For them... Because... Then they... Could use one hand... To do whatever... And... The other hand... To hold me down... And I'm joking... And I'm totally okay... I can't joke about it... Because I'm... I am of the opinion that... You know... If I laugh at it... Then... It doesn't hurt so much...

[00:58:50] Again... If you're still listening... And if you're new to this podcast... Then... Know this... You can... Like... Let go of what I'm talking about... At any second... You know... You're not obligated to... Listen to this... You're not obligated to... Even have an opinion... About what I'm saying... This is non-content... And... I'm about to wrap this up... If you...

[00:59:19] Enjoyed this... Then please reach out... Tell me something... I love being talked to... I love being... Reached out to... That is the main purpose... Why I'm doing this... It's because I'm in love with the world... I have a crush on the world... I want... I want... I don't want to...

[00:59:48] Just sit in my corner... Stare at my screen... And... Watch as my days pass by... Without even... At least try... To reach out... And that is what I'm doing right now... This is my... Letter to you... Dear Sleepy... And if you're still awake... Then that's... Yeah... That was the point... All along... The point... Of you listening to this episode...

[01:00:17] All the way through... Is for you to listen to this episode... All the way through... And if you want to fall asleep now... You can just... Put on another episode... Or just... Listen to the void... Around you... Good night... Dearest Sleepy...