The christmas episode

[00:00:00] Hi Sleepy, just a very quick note before we start today's episode.

[00:00:04] Do you want to listen to this podcast without the ads?

[00:00:08] Then you absolutely can.

[00:00:10] Just subscribe to Fall asleep with Henrik plus.

[00:00:14] And to do so, you can just click the link in the podcast description and it'll be fixed.

[00:00:21] See you there.

[00:00:34] Viele Vierbeine reagieren unter anderem mit einer gestörten Verdauung.

[00:00:37] Und das ist wiederum Stress für ihre Besitzer.

[00:00:40] Aber es gibt schnelle und einfache Hilfe.

[00:00:43] Das Probioticum Purina Proplan Forti Flora.

[00:00:46] Streu einfach einen Beutel über das tägliche Futter.

[00:00:49] Die außergewöhnliche Zusammensetzung mit lebenden guten Darmbakterien

[00:00:53] stellt das Gleichgewicht im Darm wieder her.

[00:00:55] Natürlich kannst du Proplan Forti Flora auch präventiv

[00:00:58] oder bei alltäglichen Verdauungsbeschwerden einsetzen.

[00:01:01] Es unterstützt auch bei Ernährungsumstellungen oder Antibiotika-Einnahme.

[00:01:05] Purina Proplan Forti Flora.

[00:01:07] Jetzt auf shop.purina.de

[00:01:34] You can always take time to celebrate whatever holiday.

[00:01:39] In honor of this specific holiday,

[00:01:43] I put together this extra long episode for you today

[00:01:45] consistent of three episodes of Fall Asleep with Henrik put together

[00:01:54] so you get extra long time to fall asleep.

[00:01:58] So with that said,

[00:02:03] let's start off with the first episode

[00:02:07] and

[00:02:08] Merry Christmas.

[00:02:12] Hi and welcome to Fall Asleep with Henrik.

[00:02:16] I'm Henrik

[00:02:18] and

[00:02:19] you are sleepy and

[00:02:23] it is what it is.

[00:02:26] What happens happens

[00:02:27] and right now

[00:02:30] there is nothing

[00:02:31] we can do about it.

[00:02:36] So let's go.

[00:02:40] Hi there sleepy.

[00:02:43] How are you?

[00:02:46] I'm fine.

[00:02:47] Thank you for asking.

[00:02:48] I'm

[00:02:50] sitting in my studio

[00:02:52] as always

[00:02:55] having problems

[00:02:58] starting this

[00:03:00] podcast that

[00:03:01] is meant for you to fall asleep.

[00:03:03] I know there's

[00:03:05] there's a lot of other

[00:03:07] sleep aid

[00:03:09] oriented

[00:03:10] podcasts

[00:03:11] out there

[00:03:12] but most of them

[00:03:13] and I say most of them

[00:03:15] well knowing that

[00:03:17] not every one of them

[00:03:20] is

[00:03:22] structured in

[00:03:23] a different way than

[00:03:25] this podcast.

[00:03:28] Most of them

[00:03:29] are structured in a way

[00:03:31] that are purely meant

[00:03:33] for you to be

[00:03:34] lulled to sleep

[00:03:35] in a very traditional way

[00:03:38] like

[00:03:40] bedtime stories

[00:03:41] for

[00:03:42] children or

[00:03:43] for grown-ups

[00:03:45] or

[00:03:46] meditation

[00:03:46] or relaxation

[00:03:47] techniques.

[00:03:49] This

[00:03:50] is

[00:03:51] not that

[00:03:52] kind of podcast.

[00:03:55] This is

[00:03:56] more

[00:03:58] in line with

[00:03:59] if any

[00:04:01] the

[00:04:02] very popular

[00:04:04] sleep podcast

[00:04:05] sleep with me

[00:04:06] that

[00:04:08] Skur

[00:04:09] does

[00:04:11] I would

[00:04:12] I can

[00:04:14] recommend that

[00:04:15] well

[00:04:16] that is of course

[00:04:17] not necessary

[00:04:18] for me to

[00:04:19] recommend that

[00:04:20] podcast since

[00:04:21] that is actually

[00:04:22] a very

[00:04:23] successful

[00:04:24] podcast

[00:04:24] you don't need

[00:04:25] my

[00:04:26] recommendation

[00:04:26] but

[00:04:29] he is

[00:04:30] well I guess

[00:04:31] he is

[00:04:32] most

[00:04:35] he

[00:04:35] the podcast

[00:04:37] for sleep

[00:04:38] with me

[00:04:38] is the

[00:04:39] most

[00:04:41] like mine

[00:04:43] in the

[00:04:44] podcast

[00:04:45] universe

[00:04:46] but

[00:04:47] this is

[00:04:47] something

[00:04:48] purely

[00:04:49] made out

[00:04:51] of my own

[00:04:51] mind

[00:04:53] I am

[00:04:54] no expert

[00:04:55] in

[00:04:56] sleeping

[00:04:57] techniques

[00:04:58] or

[00:04:58] relaxation

[00:04:59] or visualization

[00:05:01] techniques

[00:05:02] I am

[00:05:03] from Sweden

[00:05:04] I don't

[00:05:04] speak

[00:05:04] very well

[00:05:05] I don't

[00:05:06] speak

[00:05:07] English

[00:05:07] very well

[00:05:07] although

[00:05:08] some

[00:05:09] say

[00:05:09] I do

[00:05:09] but I

[00:05:12] I am

[00:05:13] very

[00:05:13] aware

[00:05:14] of my

[00:05:14] own

[00:05:15] shortcomings

[00:05:17] regarding

[00:05:18] the language

[00:05:22] as I've

[00:05:23] said many

[00:05:24] times

[00:05:24] before

[00:05:24] I do

[00:05:24] this in

[00:05:25] Swedish

[00:05:25] 10 times

[00:05:28] a month

[00:05:30] and

[00:05:31] have been

[00:05:31] doing so

[00:05:32] since

[00:05:33] 2018

[00:05:33] putting

[00:05:34] Swedes

[00:05:35] Norwegians

[00:05:36] Finnish

[00:05:37] people

[00:05:38] Danes

[00:05:39] and

[00:05:40] Swedish

[00:05:40] people

[00:05:41] all around

[00:05:42] the world

[00:05:42] to sleep

[00:05:44] for

[00:05:45] six years

[00:05:46] now

[00:05:49] and

[00:05:50] that's my

[00:05:51] income

[00:05:52] that's my

[00:05:53] job

[00:05:53] you could

[00:05:55] have

[00:05:55] worse

[00:05:56] jobs

[00:06:00] so

[00:06:01] anyway

[00:06:01] you don't

[00:06:02] have to

[00:06:02] listen to

[00:06:03] my

[00:06:03] words

[00:06:05] I

[00:06:05] share

[00:06:06] that

[00:06:06] with

[00:06:06] the

[00:06:06] sleep

[00:06:07] with

[00:06:07] me

[00:06:07] podcast

[00:06:08] you

[00:06:08] don't

[00:06:09] have

[00:06:09] to

[00:06:09] listen

[00:06:09] to

[00:06:09] what

[00:06:10] I

[00:06:10] say

[00:06:10] let

[00:06:10] me

[00:06:10] just

[00:06:11] speak

[00:06:11] and

[00:06:12] I

[00:06:12] will

[00:06:14] well

[00:06:15] a

[00:06:16] common

[00:06:16] misconception

[00:06:17] about

[00:06:17] this

[00:06:18] type

[00:06:18] of

[00:06:19] insomnia

[00:06:19] relief

[00:06:21] technique

[00:06:21] is that

[00:06:22] I'm

[00:06:22] trying to

[00:06:23] bore

[00:06:23] you

[00:06:23] to

[00:06:23] sleep

[00:06:24] but

[00:06:24] I'm

[00:06:25] not

[00:06:25] actually

[00:06:27] I am

[00:06:27] trying

[00:06:28] my

[00:06:28] best

[00:06:28] to

[00:06:29] entertain

[00:06:29] you

[00:06:29] but

[00:06:30] since

[00:06:31] I

[00:06:31] don't

[00:06:31] prepare

[00:06:32] anything

[00:06:32] edit

[00:06:33] anything

[00:06:34] remove

[00:06:35] stuff

[00:06:36] you know

[00:06:37] restructure

[00:06:38] stuff

[00:06:39] I

[00:06:40] can't

[00:06:41] it's

[00:06:42] almost

[00:06:42] impossible

[00:06:42] for me

[00:06:43] to

[00:06:43] succeed

[00:06:45] in

[00:06:46] my

[00:06:46] trying

[00:06:47] to

[00:06:47] entertain

[00:06:48] you

[00:06:48] like

[00:06:48] in

[00:06:49] a

[00:06:49] professional

[00:06:50] way

[00:06:50] since

[00:06:51] that's

[00:06:51] my

[00:06:52] job

[00:06:52] in a

[00:06:52] way

[00:06:53] I'm

[00:06:54] an

[00:06:54] actor

[00:06:54] and

[00:06:55] I

[00:06:55] I

[00:06:56] am

[00:06:57] trained

[00:06:57] in

[00:06:58] entertaining

[00:06:58] and

[00:07:00] performing

[00:07:01] I am

[00:07:04] actually a

[00:07:04] trained

[00:07:05] actor

[00:07:06] this

[00:07:07] I

[00:07:08] don't

[00:07:08] know

[00:07:09] how

[00:07:09] much

[00:07:10] of my

[00:07:10] training

[00:07:11] is

[00:07:11] applied

[00:07:12] in

[00:07:13] this

[00:07:14] my

[00:07:14] new

[00:07:14] line

[00:07:14] of

[00:07:14] work

[00:07:15] it

[00:07:16] was

[00:07:16] a

[00:07:16] long

[00:07:16] time

[00:07:17] ago

[00:07:17] since

[00:07:17] I

[00:07:17] stood

[00:07:18] on

[00:07:18] a

[00:07:18] stage

[00:07:21] I

[00:07:22] guess

[00:07:22] that

[00:07:22] was

[00:07:24] 2022

[00:07:27] or

[00:07:27] maybe

[00:07:28] 2023

[00:07:30] I

[00:07:30] don't

[00:07:30] remember

[00:07:31] well

[00:07:33] it

[00:07:34] was

[00:07:34] long

[00:07:34] time

[00:07:35] ago

[00:07:35] anyway

[00:07:35] and I

[00:07:38] don't

[00:07:38] really

[00:07:38] miss

[00:07:39] it

[00:07:39] that

[00:07:40] much

[00:07:40] many

[00:07:43] people

[00:07:43] ask

[00:07:44] me

[00:07:44] are

[00:07:44] you

[00:07:44] done

[00:07:44] with

[00:07:45] acting

[00:07:45] now

[00:07:47] and

[00:07:48] I

[00:07:48] always

[00:07:49] answer

[00:07:49] no

[00:07:49] of

[00:07:49] course

[00:07:50] not

[00:07:50] why

[00:07:50] why

[00:07:51] I

[00:07:52] mean

[00:07:52] that

[00:07:52] would

[00:07:52] be

[00:08:15] are

[00:08:16] heading

[00:08:16] right

[00:08:16] into

[00:08:17] a

[00:08:17] ditch

[00:08:17] somewhere

[00:08:18] you

[00:08:19] don't

[00:08:19] know

[00:08:22] but

[00:08:23] I

[00:08:23] don't

[00:08:24] miss

[00:08:24] being

[00:08:25] on

[00:08:25] stage

[00:08:26] that

[00:08:27] much

[00:08:27] I

[00:08:30] miss

[00:08:30] being

[00:08:31] in

[00:08:32] front

[00:08:32] of

[00:08:32] the

[00:08:32] camera

[00:08:33] it's

[00:08:34] not

[00:08:34] the

[00:08:34] same

[00:08:34] doing

[00:08:35] it

[00:08:35] yourself

[00:08:35] on

[00:08:35] YouTube

[00:08:36] and

[00:08:36] other

[00:08:37] social

[00:08:37] media

[00:08:38] it's

[00:08:39] not

[00:08:39] the

[00:08:39] same

[00:08:40] when

[00:08:41] you're

[00:08:41] filming

[00:08:41] something

[00:08:42] you're

[00:08:42] a part

[00:08:42] of

[00:08:42] this

[00:08:43] huge

[00:08:44] group

[00:08:44] of

[00:08:44] people

[00:08:45] that

[00:08:45] are

[00:08:47] working

[00:08:47] towards

[00:08:48] a

[00:08:48] common

[00:08:48] goal

[00:08:49] centered

[00:08:50] around

[00:08:51] a

[00:08:51] hopefully

[00:08:52] good

[00:08:53] piece

[00:08:55] of

[00:08:55] narrative

[00:08:56] a good

[00:08:56] story

[00:08:58] that's

[00:08:59] not

[00:08:59] always

[00:09:00] the case

[00:09:00] though

[00:09:02] sometimes

[00:09:02] when you

[00:09:03] film

[00:09:03] when you

[00:09:04] do

[00:09:11] and

[00:09:11] everyone

[00:09:12] knows

[00:09:12] everyone

[00:09:13] working

[00:09:13] with it

[00:09:14] knows

[00:09:14] that

[00:09:14] this

[00:09:14] is

[00:09:15] going

[00:09:15] to

[00:09:15] turn

[00:09:15] out

[00:09:15] to

[00:09:16] be

[00:09:16] shit

[00:09:17] and

[00:09:19] we're

[00:09:19] laughing

[00:09:20] you know

[00:09:20] while

[00:09:21] doing

[00:09:21] it

[00:09:24] but

[00:09:25] then

[00:09:25] again

[00:09:25] you can

[00:09:26] be

[00:09:26] proven

[00:09:27] wrong

[00:09:28] I

[00:09:29] have

[00:09:29] worked

[00:09:29] on

[00:09:30] like

[00:09:31] many

[00:09:31] productions

[00:09:32] where

[00:09:33] I

[00:09:33] thought

[00:09:33] that

[00:09:33] this

[00:09:34] is

[00:09:34] going

[00:09:34] to

[00:09:34] turn

[00:09:35] out

[00:09:35] to

[00:09:35] be

[00:09:35] really

[00:09:35] good

[00:09:36] and

[00:09:36] then

[00:09:36] I

[00:09:37] saw

[00:09:37] the

[00:09:37] final

[00:09:38] result

[00:09:39] and

[00:09:39] I

[00:09:39] I'm

[00:09:40] just

[00:09:40] I want

[00:09:41] to

[00:09:41] be

[00:09:42] swallowed

[00:09:42] by

[00:09:43] the

[00:09:43] earth

[00:09:44] beneath

[00:09:45] me

[00:09:45] because

[00:09:46] I'm

[00:09:46] so

[00:09:46] shamed

[00:09:47] so

[00:09:50] you

[00:09:50] never

[00:09:50] know

[00:09:51] you

[00:09:52] know

[00:09:52] and

[00:09:53] sometimes

[00:09:53] you

[00:09:54] do

[00:09:54] stuff

[00:09:54] that

[00:09:54] feels

[00:09:55] not

[00:09:56] particularly

[00:09:57] good

[00:09:57] and

[00:10:00] then

[00:10:00] it

[00:10:00] turns

[00:10:00] out

[00:10:01] to

[00:10:01] be

[00:10:01] like

[00:10:01] this

[00:10:02] really

[00:10:02] good

[00:10:02] piece

[00:10:03] piece

[00:10:03] art

[00:10:04] so

[00:10:07] you

[00:10:07] never

[00:10:07] know

[00:10:08] nor

[00:10:08] should

[00:10:08] you

[00:10:09] know

[00:10:10] because

[00:10:10] it's

[00:10:10] all in

[00:10:11] the

[00:10:11] eyes

[00:10:11] of

[00:10:11] the

[00:10:12] audience

[00:10:12] I

[00:10:12] guess

[00:10:12] so

[00:10:18] I'm

[00:10:18] going

[00:10:18] to

[00:10:18] talk

[00:10:19] for

[00:10:19] an

[00:10:19] hour

[00:10:19] here

[00:10:20] and

[00:10:21] just

[00:10:21] speak

[00:10:22] whatever

[00:10:22] is

[00:10:22] on

[00:10:23] my

[00:10:23] mind

[00:10:23] I

[00:10:24] tend

[00:10:24] to

[00:10:25] dwell

[00:10:26] on

[00:10:26] stuff

[00:10:26] that's

[00:10:27] personal

[00:10:27] to

[00:10:27] me

[00:10:28] I

[00:10:29] tend

[00:10:29] to

[00:10:31] talk

[00:10:33] about

[00:10:33] especially

[00:10:34] in my

[00:10:34] English

[00:10:34] speaking

[00:10:35] podcast

[00:10:36] this

[00:10:37] one

[00:10:39] I

[00:10:40] tend

[00:10:40] to

[00:10:40] speak

[00:10:40] a lot

[00:10:41] about

[00:10:41] myself

[00:10:42] and

[00:10:42] my

[00:10:42] own

[00:10:42] world

[00:10:43] and

[00:10:43] my

[00:10:43] own

[00:10:43] life

[00:10:44] that's

[00:10:45] because

[00:10:45] I

[00:10:46] find

[00:10:46] it

[00:10:47] harder

[00:10:48] to

[00:10:48] tell

[00:10:49] stories

[00:10:49] and

[00:10:52] figmental

[00:10:54] pieces

[00:10:55] of

[00:10:57] narrative

[00:10:57] that

[00:11:00] I

[00:11:01] do

[00:11:01] a lot

[00:11:01] in

[00:11:01] Swedish

[00:11:02] in my

[00:11:02] Swedish

[00:11:02] equivalent

[00:11:03] to this

[00:11:03] podcast

[00:11:04] I

[00:11:04] don't

[00:11:06] I

[00:11:08] don't

[00:11:08] really

[00:11:08] find

[00:11:09] it

[00:11:09] that

[00:11:10] easy

[00:11:10] I

[00:11:11] have

[00:11:11] tried

[00:11:11] a

[00:11:12] few

[00:11:12] times

[00:11:13] in

[00:11:13] this

[00:11:13] podcast

[00:11:13] to

[00:11:14] just

[00:11:14] tell

[00:11:15] pure

[00:11:16] fictional

[00:11:17] stories

[00:11:19] and

[00:11:20] they

[00:11:21] turn out

[00:11:22] alright

[00:11:22] I guess

[00:11:23] but it's

[00:11:23] harder

[00:11:24] and

[00:11:24] it

[00:11:25] takes

[00:11:26] like

[00:11:27] a bit

[00:11:28] of

[00:11:28] courage

[00:11:28] for my

[00:11:29] end

[00:11:31] and

[00:11:32] I

[00:11:32] don't

[00:11:33] always

[00:11:33] possess

[00:11:34] that

[00:11:34] courage

[00:11:34] so

[00:11:35] today

[00:11:35] okay

[00:11:36] just

[00:11:36] because

[00:11:36] I

[00:11:38] said

[00:11:39] so

[00:11:39] I

[00:11:40] am

[00:11:40] going

[00:11:40] to

[00:11:40] force

[00:11:41] myself

[00:11:41] to

[00:11:41] tell

[00:11:42] you

[00:11:42] a

[00:11:42] purely

[00:11:43] fictional

[00:11:43] story

[00:11:44] today

[00:11:45] but

[00:11:45] I

[00:11:46] will

[00:11:46] also

[00:11:48] interrupt

[00:11:49] this

[00:11:50] story

[00:11:50] with

[00:11:50] personal

[00:11:52] segments

[00:11:53] from my

[00:11:54] own life

[00:11:54] and my

[00:11:55] own

[00:11:55] experiences

[00:11:56] as is

[00:11:57] always the

[00:11:58] case when

[00:11:59] I do

[00:11:59] stuff

[00:12:01] I

[00:12:01] always

[00:12:02] mix

[00:12:03] private

[00:12:04] and

[00:12:04] personal

[00:12:04] experiences

[00:12:06] into

[00:12:07] my

[00:12:07] stories

[00:12:08] or

[00:12:09] made

[00:12:10] up

[00:12:10] worlds

[00:12:11] so

[00:12:14] this

[00:12:14] story

[00:12:15] is

[00:12:15] about

[00:12:15] this

[00:12:16] old

[00:12:18] lady

[00:12:18] called

[00:12:19] nanny

[00:12:20] and

[00:12:21] she's

[00:12:22] living

[00:12:22] in

[00:12:22] a

[00:12:22] hut

[00:12:23] near

[00:12:24] a

[00:12:24] river

[00:12:25] and

[00:12:26] every

[00:12:26] day

[00:12:27] she

[00:12:27] looks

[00:12:27] out

[00:12:28] over

[00:12:29] the

[00:12:29] river

[00:12:29] and

[00:12:29] she

[00:12:30] sees

[00:12:30] that

[00:12:31] nothing

[00:12:31] has

[00:12:32] changed

[00:12:32] the

[00:12:35] river

[00:12:35] just

[00:12:35] flows

[00:12:36] from

[00:12:36] one

[00:12:37] direction

[00:12:37] to

[00:12:37] the

[00:12:38] other

[00:12:39] or

[00:12:39] rather

[00:12:40] the

[00:12:41] river

[00:12:41] just

[00:12:41] flows

[00:12:42] in

[00:12:42] one

[00:12:42] direction

[00:12:44] is

[00:12:45] maybe

[00:12:45] the

[00:12:46] proper

[00:12:46] way

[00:12:46] to

[00:12:46] say

[00:12:48] this

[00:12:50] and

[00:12:52] every

[00:12:52] day

[00:12:53] is

[00:12:54] in

[00:12:55] that

[00:12:55] manner

[00:12:56] the

[00:12:57] same

[00:12:57] the

[00:12:58] trees

[00:12:59] on the

[00:13:00] opposite

[00:13:00] side

[00:13:00] of

[00:13:00] the

[00:13:01] river

[00:13:01] it's

[00:13:01] not

[00:13:01] a

[00:13:01] very

[00:13:02] big

[00:13:02] river

[00:13:02] it's

[00:13:02] like

[00:13:04] 10

[00:13:04] or

[00:13:05] 15

[00:13:05] meters

[00:13:05] across

[00:13:06] so

[00:13:08] she

[00:13:09] lives

[00:13:09] by

[00:13:12] creek

[00:13:15] and

[00:13:20] well

[00:13:21] the

[00:13:23] vegetation

[00:13:23] around

[00:13:24] the

[00:13:24] river

[00:13:25] are

[00:13:25] these

[00:13:26] large

[00:13:27] trees

[00:13:30] with

[00:13:32] an

[00:13:33] accumulated

[00:13:34] age

[00:13:34] of

[00:13:35] thousands

[00:13:36] and

[00:13:36] thousands

[00:13:36] of

[00:13:37] years

[00:13:37] old

[00:13:37] and

[00:13:39] she's

[00:13:39] also

[00:13:40] old

[00:13:42] but

[00:13:43] not

[00:13:44] old

[00:13:44] in

[00:13:46] the

[00:13:46] same

[00:13:46] way

[00:13:47] Greenland

[00:13:48] shark

[00:13:48] can

[00:13:49] be

[00:13:50] old

[00:13:53] is

[00:13:54] it

[00:13:54] called

[00:13:54] Greenland

[00:13:55] shark

[00:13:55] or

[00:13:55] is

[00:13:56] it

[00:13:56] the

[00:13:56] Greenland

[00:13:56] whale

[00:13:57] in

[00:14:00] Swedish

[00:14:00] we

[00:14:00] say

[00:14:00] Grönlands

[00:14:01] val

[00:14:02] but

[00:14:03] I've

[00:14:03] heard

[00:14:03] somewhere

[00:14:04] that

[00:14:04] the

[00:14:04] Greenland

[00:14:05] shark

[00:14:06] is

[00:14:07] the

[00:14:07] proper

[00:14:09] title

[00:14:11] anyway

[00:14:11] I

[00:14:12] read

[00:14:12] somewhere

[00:14:13] that

[00:14:13] they

[00:14:20] 150

[00:14:20] 500

[00:14:21] years

[00:14:22] old

[00:14:24] that

[00:14:25] means

[00:14:25] that

[00:14:26] there

[00:14:26] are

[00:14:26] Greenland

[00:14:27] sharks

[00:14:27] swimming

[00:14:28] in the

[00:14:28] deep

[00:14:29] cold

[00:14:29] depths

[00:14:31] right

[00:14:32] now

[00:14:32] that

[00:14:33] were

[00:14:34] alive

[00:14:34] during

[00:14:34] the

[00:14:35] years

[00:14:36] of

[00:14:36] William

[00:14:36] Shakespeare

[00:14:37] not

[00:14:37] even

[00:14:37] knowing

[00:14:38] about

[00:14:38] it

[00:14:40] that's

[00:14:42] amazing

[00:14:43] to me

[00:14:44] but

[00:14:45] Nanny

[00:14:46] is not

[00:14:46] that

[00:14:48] old

[00:14:48] she's

[00:14:49] 76

[00:14:50] years

[00:14:50] old

[00:14:52] and

[00:14:52] she's

[00:14:53] well

[00:14:56] she's

[00:14:56] not

[00:14:57] bored

[00:14:59] but

[00:14:59] she's

[00:15:00] seen

[00:15:00] it all

[00:15:00] you know

[00:15:03] every

[00:15:04] day

[00:15:05] is

[00:15:05] sort

[00:15:05] of

[00:15:06] the

[00:15:06] same

[00:15:06] in

[00:15:06] her

[00:15:06] world

[00:15:09] she's

[00:15:09] lived

[00:15:09] long

[00:15:10] enough

[00:15:10] to

[00:15:10] see

[00:15:10] people

[00:15:11] come

[00:15:11] and

[00:15:11] go

[00:15:13] because

[00:15:14] she

[00:15:15] has

[00:15:15] this

[00:15:17] curious

[00:15:18] thing

[00:15:18] about

[00:15:19] her

[00:15:19] and

[00:15:19] that

[00:15:20] is

[00:15:20] that

[00:15:20] she

[00:15:20] doesn't

[00:15:21] age

[00:15:21] now

[00:15:24] that's

[00:15:24] a

[00:15:38] people

[00:15:39] stopped

[00:15:39] caring

[00:15:41] really

[00:15:42] she

[00:15:43] had a

[00:15:44] family

[00:15:44] but

[00:15:45] they

[00:15:46] were

[00:15:46] all

[00:15:46] taken

[00:15:46] away

[00:15:47] from

[00:15:47] her

[00:15:47] when

[00:15:48] she

[00:15:48] was

[00:15:48] way

[00:15:48] too

[00:15:49] young

[00:15:50] and

[00:15:50] since

[00:15:51] then

[00:15:51] she's

[00:15:51] lived

[00:15:52] alone

[00:15:52] and

[00:15:52] she

[00:15:53] prefers

[00:15:53] it

[00:15:53] that

[00:15:54] way

[00:15:56] because

[00:15:57] she

[00:15:57] has

[00:15:58] this

[00:15:59] very

[00:16:00] weird

[00:16:02] trait

[00:16:03] she

[00:16:04] still

[00:16:04] looks

[00:16:05] like

[00:16:05] she's

[00:16:06] 20

[00:16:07] but

[00:16:09] she's

[00:16:09] 76

[00:16:10] and

[00:16:13] she

[00:16:17] has

[00:16:18] some

[00:16:19] sort

[00:16:20] of

[00:16:20] accumulated

[00:16:21] wealth

[00:16:21] she

[00:16:22] started

[00:16:22] saving

[00:16:23] at

[00:16:23] an

[00:16:24] early

[00:16:24] age

[00:16:24] and

[00:16:25] that

[00:16:27] money

[00:16:27] has

[00:16:28] now

[00:16:28] accumulated

[00:16:29] to

[00:16:29] a

[00:16:29] sum

[00:16:30] that

[00:16:30] she's

[00:16:31] able

[00:16:32] to

[00:16:32] live

[00:16:32] off

[00:16:32] each

[00:16:34] month

[00:16:34] so

[00:16:35] she

[00:16:35] hasn't

[00:16:35] a

[00:16:36] real

[00:16:36] she

[00:16:37] hasn't

[00:16:37] ever

[00:16:38] really

[00:16:38] had

[00:16:38] a

[00:16:39] real

[00:16:39] job

[00:16:40] she

[00:16:41] had

[00:16:41] this

[00:16:43] she's

[00:16:43] had

[00:16:43] this

[00:16:44] she

[00:16:45] led

[00:16:45] a

[00:16:45] life

[00:16:46] of

[00:16:46] you

[00:16:47] know

[00:16:48] living

[00:16:48] off

[00:16:48] the

[00:16:48] land

[00:16:49] she

[00:16:50] owns

[00:16:50] this

[00:16:50] little

[00:16:51] piece

[00:16:51] of

[00:16:51] land

[00:16:52] around

[00:16:52] that

[00:16:53] very

[00:16:53] particular

[00:16:53] creek

[00:16:54] of

[00:16:54] this

[00:16:54] river

[00:16:55] I'm

[00:16:56] not

[00:16:56] going

[00:16:56] to

[00:16:56] say

[00:16:56] where

[00:16:57] this

[00:16:57] river

[00:16:57] is

[00:16:58] because

[00:16:58] then

[00:16:59] you

[00:16:59] will

[00:16:59] just

[00:16:59] want

[00:16:59] to

[00:16:59] go

[00:17:00] there

[00:17:00] and

[00:17:00] disturb

[00:17:01] her

[00:17:01] because

[00:17:02] she's

[00:17:02] still

[00:17:02] alive

[00:17:03] the

[00:17:07] fact

[00:17:07] is

[00:17:07] that

[00:17:08] Nanny

[00:17:09] can't

[00:17:09] die

[00:17:10] she's

[00:17:11] immortal

[00:17:12] and

[00:17:13] before

[00:17:14] you

[00:17:14] run

[00:17:14] off

[00:17:14] climbing

[00:17:15] the

[00:17:16] church

[00:17:16] tower

[00:17:17] just

[00:17:17] yelling

[00:17:17] out

[00:17:18] over

[00:17:18] the

[00:17:18] county

[00:17:19] that

[00:17:19] this

[00:17:20] is an

[00:17:21] illogical

[00:17:22] story

[00:17:22] people

[00:17:23] can't

[00:17:24] just

[00:17:24] go

[00:17:24] around

[00:17:25] being

[00:17:25] immortal

[00:17:26] let

[00:17:27] me

[00:17:27] just

[00:17:29] give

[00:17:29] you a

[00:17:30] quick

[00:17:30] comment

[00:17:30] to

[00:17:31] that

[00:17:31] I

[00:17:31] know

[00:17:32] that

[00:17:32] this

[00:17:33] is

[00:17:33] viewed

[00:17:34] upon

[00:17:35] as

[00:17:35] impossible

[00:17:36] but

[00:17:36] in

[00:17:36] my

[00:17:36] imagination

[00:17:37] right

[00:17:37] now

[00:17:38] immortality

[00:17:39] is

[00:17:39] possible

[00:17:40] but

[00:17:40] for

[00:17:41] one

[00:17:41] person

[00:17:41] on

[00:17:43] earth

[00:17:43] and

[00:17:44] that's

[00:17:44] Nanny

[00:17:46] so

[00:17:46] she

[00:17:47] has

[00:17:47] some

[00:17:47] sort

[00:17:47] of

[00:17:48] genetic

[00:17:48] traits

[00:17:48] that

[00:17:49] permits

[00:17:50] her

[00:17:52] and

[00:17:53] that

[00:17:54] includes

[00:17:54] dying

[00:17:55] by

[00:17:55] accidents

[00:17:56] and

[00:17:57] violence

[00:17:58] and

[00:17:59] any

[00:17:59] type

[00:18:00] of

[00:18:00] harm

[00:18:01] she

[00:18:03] simply

[00:18:03] can't

[00:18:04] perish

[00:18:06] and

[00:18:07] that

[00:18:08] at a

[00:18:09] first

[00:18:10] glance

[00:18:11] that

[00:18:11] sounds

[00:18:12] that looks

[00:18:13] like

[00:18:13] really

[00:18:14] positive

[00:18:16] you know

[00:18:16] imagine

[00:18:18] not

[00:18:20] being able

[00:18:20] to

[00:18:24] experience

[00:18:25] endings

[00:18:28] but

[00:18:28] then

[00:18:29] again

[00:18:29] that's

[00:18:30] all

[00:18:30] she

[00:18:31] ever

[00:18:31] does

[00:18:32] if

[00:18:34] you

[00:18:34] live

[00:18:34] long

[00:18:35] enough

[00:18:37] you

[00:18:37] get to

[00:18:38] see

[00:18:38] so

[00:18:38] many

[00:18:39] endings

[00:18:39] and

[00:18:40] in

[00:18:40] Nanny's

[00:18:41] case

[00:18:42] the

[00:18:43] endings

[00:18:44] are

[00:18:44] endless

[00:18:45] you know

[00:18:46] since

[00:18:47] she

[00:18:47] doesn't

[00:18:48] ever

[00:18:48] end

[00:18:49] herself

[00:18:49] she

[00:18:51] gets

[00:18:51] to

[00:18:51] see

[00:18:51] end

[00:18:52] upon

[00:18:52] end

[00:18:53] upon

[00:18:53] end

[00:18:53] of

[00:18:54] stuff

[00:18:54] and

[00:18:55] that's

[00:18:55] why

[00:18:55] she

[00:18:56] really

[00:18:56] likes

[00:18:56] it

[00:18:56] alone

[00:18:57] and

[00:18:58] she's

[00:18:59] only

[00:18:59] 76

[00:19:03] that's

[00:19:03] not

[00:19:03] an

[00:19:04] age

[00:19:04] compared

[00:19:05] to

[00:19:05] eternity

[00:19:06] or

[00:19:07] whatever

[00:19:08] time span

[00:19:09] she has

[00:19:09] because

[00:19:10] she

[00:19:10] doesn't

[00:19:11] know

[00:19:12] the

[00:19:12] doctor

[00:19:13] doesn't

[00:19:13] know

[00:19:13] what's

[00:19:14] what

[00:19:15] makes

[00:19:15] her

[00:19:16] her

[00:19:18] nobody

[00:19:19] knows

[00:19:20] and

[00:19:21] she's

[00:19:22] been

[00:19:22] sort

[00:19:22] of

[00:19:23] viewed

[00:19:24] upon

[00:19:24] as

[00:19:25] sort

[00:19:25] of

[00:19:26] a

[00:19:26] circus

[00:19:26] freak

[00:19:28] back

[00:19:29] in

[00:19:29] the

[00:19:29] day

[00:19:29] when

[00:19:30] she

[00:19:30] turned

[00:19:31] 50

[00:19:31] and

[00:19:31] still

[00:19:32] 20

[00:19:32] people

[00:19:33] looked

[00:19:34] at

[00:19:34] her

[00:19:34] as

[00:19:34] a

[00:19:34] curiosity

[00:19:35] and

[00:19:35] she

[00:19:36] was

[00:19:36] asked

[00:19:37] about

[00:19:37] her

[00:19:37] way

[00:19:37] of

[00:19:38] life

[00:19:38] and

[00:19:38] now

[00:19:39] when

[00:19:39] she

[00:19:40] turned

[00:19:40] 60

[00:19:40] people

[00:19:41] were

[00:19:41] just

[00:19:41] this

[00:19:43] isn't

[00:19:44] logical

[00:19:46] and

[00:19:46] people

[00:19:47] started

[00:19:48] to be

[00:19:48] scared

[00:19:49] and

[00:19:50] almost

[00:19:51] 80

[00:19:51] years

[00:19:52] of

[00:19:52] old

[00:19:52] 80

[00:19:53] years

[00:19:53] of

[00:19:54] age

[00:19:55] she's

[00:19:57] viewed

[00:19:57] upon

[00:19:58] as

[00:19:58] kind

[00:20:01] of

[00:20:01] scary

[00:20:02] that

[00:20:03] scary

[00:20:03] old

[00:20:03] lady

[00:20:04] that

[00:20:04] looks

[00:20:04] like

[00:20:05] a

[00:20:05] young

[00:20:05] woman

[00:20:05] living

[00:20:06] alone

[00:20:06] by

[00:20:07] the

[00:20:07] creek

[00:20:08] down

[00:20:08] river

[00:20:11] and

[00:20:13] every

[00:20:17] day

[00:20:18] she

[00:20:18] just

[00:20:21] walks

[00:20:22] out

[00:20:22] of

[00:20:22] her

[00:20:22] hut

[00:20:23] sits

[00:20:24] by

[00:20:24] the

[00:20:24] river

[00:20:26] drinking

[00:20:27] her

[00:20:27] morning

[00:20:28] tea

[00:20:28] watching

[00:20:29] the

[00:20:30] stream

[00:20:30] and

[00:20:31] the

[00:20:32] only

[00:20:32] thing

[00:20:32] that's

[00:20:33] always

[00:20:33] different

[00:20:35] the

[00:20:36] only

[00:20:36] thing

[00:20:37] in

[00:20:37] her

[00:20:37] world

[00:20:37] that's

[00:20:38] always

[00:20:38] unique

[00:20:38] and

[00:20:39] she

[00:20:40] realized

[00:20:40] that

[00:20:40] since

[00:20:41] being

[00:20:42] immortal

[00:20:43] you

[00:20:44] need

[00:20:44] like

[00:20:46] that

[00:20:47] mindset

[00:20:47] that

[00:20:48] immortal

[00:20:48] mindset

[00:20:49] to

[00:20:49] have an

[00:20:51] open

[00:20:51] mind

[00:20:52] to

[00:20:52] these

[00:20:52] sort

[00:20:52] of

[00:20:52] subtle

[00:20:53] changes

[00:20:53] and

[00:20:54] that

[00:20:54] is

[00:20:55] that

[00:20:55] the

[00:20:55] river

[00:20:55] itself

[00:20:56] carries

[00:20:57] itself

[00:20:58] with a

[00:20:58] different

[00:20:59] quality

[00:20:59] and

[00:21:00] energy

[00:21:00] every

[00:21:00] day

[00:21:01] so

[00:21:01] no

[00:21:03] day

[00:21:03] are

[00:21:04] the

[00:21:05] same

[00:21:05] as far

[00:21:08] as the

[00:21:08] river

[00:21:09] goes

[00:21:09] the river

[00:21:12] shifts

[00:21:12] like

[00:21:13] constantly

[00:21:13] and it

[00:21:15] doesn't do

[00:21:15] it in

[00:21:15] cycles

[00:21:16] like most

[00:21:17] other

[00:21:17] things

[00:21:18] seasons

[00:21:21] lifespans

[00:21:24] relationships

[00:21:28] it's

[00:21:28] always

[00:21:30] different

[00:21:30] it's

[00:21:31] almost

[00:21:31] like

[00:21:32] the river

[00:21:32] itself

[00:21:33] decides

[00:21:34] whether

[00:21:35] or not

[00:21:36] it's

[00:21:37] going to

[00:21:37] be this

[00:21:37] or that

[00:21:38] way

[00:21:39] at any

[00:21:40] given

[00:21:40] day

[00:21:41] it's

[00:21:42] like

[00:21:42] the river

[00:21:43] has a

[00:21:43] mind

[00:21:44] of its

[00:21:44] own

[00:21:45] and

[00:21:46] nanny

[00:21:46] fully

[00:21:47] believes

[00:21:47] that

[00:21:48] so

[00:21:51] every

[00:21:51] day

[00:21:52] when she

[00:21:52] comes

[00:21:52] out

[00:21:53] the

[00:21:53] hut

[00:21:54] and

[00:21:55] gazes

[00:21:55] upon

[00:21:56] the river

[00:21:57] the river

[00:21:58] has

[00:21:59] like

[00:22:00] this

[00:22:00] difference

[00:22:01] in

[00:22:02] color

[00:22:02] shape

[00:22:03] energy

[00:22:04] the

[00:22:06] stream

[00:22:06] is

[00:22:06] different

[00:22:08] and

[00:22:09] not

[00:22:10] always

[00:22:10] in a

[00:22:11] good

[00:22:11] way

[00:22:12] the river

[00:22:18] is

[00:22:19] never

[00:22:20] a good

[00:22:20] friend

[00:22:22] it's

[00:22:23] always

[00:22:25] its

[00:22:26] own

[00:22:26] you know

[00:22:26] the river

[00:22:28] doesn't

[00:22:29] care

[00:22:29] that she's

[00:22:30] there

[00:22:31] so

[00:22:32] if it

[00:22:32] wants

[00:22:33] to

[00:22:33] flood

[00:22:33] her

[00:22:33] hut

[00:22:34] it's

[00:22:35] just

[00:22:35] going

[00:22:36] to

[00:22:36] do

[00:22:36] that

[00:22:37] if

[00:22:38] it

[00:22:38] wants

[00:22:38] to

[00:22:38] be

[00:22:39] like

[00:22:39] this

[00:22:40] little

[00:22:42] stream

[00:22:42] this

[00:22:43] little

[00:22:44] what do

[00:22:45] you call

[00:22:45] it

[00:22:46] this

[00:22:47] little

[00:22:48] puddle

[00:22:49] in the

[00:22:49] middle

[00:22:49] of the

[00:22:53] flood

[00:22:54] what do

[00:22:55] you call

[00:22:55] it

[00:22:56] in

[00:22:57] Swedish

[00:22:57] we say

[00:22:57] flood

[00:22:58] foran

[00:23:00] you

[00:23:01] know

[00:23:01] the

[00:23:01] dug

[00:23:03] out

[00:23:03] ground

[00:23:04] where

[00:23:04] the

[00:23:04] river

[00:23:05] flows

[00:23:05] the

[00:23:06] river

[00:23:06] has

[00:23:06] carved

[00:23:07] this

[00:23:09] pit

[00:23:11] where

[00:23:11] it

[00:23:12] flows

[00:23:12] I don't

[00:23:13] know

[00:23:13] what

[00:23:13] you call

[00:23:14] it

[00:23:14] the

[00:23:15] banks

[00:23:17] between

[00:23:18] the

[00:23:18] banks

[00:23:18] it

[00:23:22] doesn't

[00:23:22] care

[00:23:23] and

[00:23:24] that's

[00:23:24] a

[00:23:24] fascinating

[00:23:25] thing

[00:23:25] once

[00:23:26] you've

[00:23:27] discovered

[00:23:27] it

[00:23:27] I

[00:23:28] and

[00:23:29] here

[00:23:29] it

[00:23:29] comes

[00:23:29] my

[00:23:30] own

[00:23:30] personal

[00:23:31] experience

[00:23:31] in this

[00:23:32] matter

[00:23:32] I

[00:23:33] worked

[00:23:33] for

[00:23:34] many

[00:23:34] years

[00:23:34] at

[00:23:34] this

[00:23:36] river

[00:23:39] and

[00:23:40] every

[00:23:41] day

[00:23:42] I was

[00:23:43] acting

[00:23:43] I was

[00:23:44] doing

[00:23:44] a

[00:23:44] play

[00:23:44] and

[00:23:45] the

[00:23:45] play

[00:23:45] took

[00:23:45] place

[00:23:46] outside

[00:23:46] so

[00:23:47] there

[00:23:47] was

[00:23:47] this

[00:23:48] outside

[00:23:50] large

[00:23:50] stage

[00:23:52] which

[00:23:52] was

[00:23:52] really

[00:23:53] just

[00:23:55] a

[00:23:55] grass

[00:23:56] and

[00:23:56] dirt

[00:23:56] stage

[00:23:57] you know

[00:23:57] with

[00:23:58] houses

[00:23:58] on

[00:23:58] real

[00:23:59] houses

[00:24:00] and

[00:24:00] the

[00:24:00] audience

[00:24:01] sat

[00:24:02] on

[00:24:04] chairs

[00:24:04] and

[00:24:05] benches

[00:24:05] on a

[00:24:06] hill

[00:24:07] like

[00:24:07] opposite

[00:24:08] the

[00:24:08] stage

[00:24:08] it

[00:24:09] was

[00:24:09] all

[00:24:10] just

[00:24:10] dug

[00:24:11] out

[00:24:11] from

[00:24:12] the

[00:24:12] environment

[00:24:13] and

[00:24:14] behind

[00:24:14] all

[00:24:15] the

[00:24:15] houses

[00:24:15] were

[00:24:16] this

[00:24:17] river

[00:24:20] and

[00:24:23] every

[00:24:23] day

[00:24:24] in between

[00:24:24] my

[00:24:24] scenes

[00:24:25] or

[00:24:26] before

[00:24:26] and

[00:24:27] after

[00:24:27] the

[00:24:28] play

[00:24:28] was

[00:24:28] over

[00:24:29] I

[00:24:30] sat

[00:24:30] at

[00:24:31] a

[00:24:31] folding

[00:24:32] chair

[00:24:32] and

[00:24:38] just

[00:24:39] looked

[00:24:39] at

[00:24:40] the

[00:24:40] river

[00:24:40] and

[00:24:42] it's

[00:24:43] really

[00:24:44] truly

[00:24:44] amazing

[00:24:45] what a

[00:24:45] river

[00:24:46] can do

[00:24:46] to your

[00:24:47] mind

[00:24:49] once

[00:24:50] you've

[00:24:51] looked

[00:24:51] at it

[00:24:51] for

[00:24:51] long

[00:24:52] enough

[00:24:52] it's

[00:24:53] not

[00:24:53] the

[00:24:54] same

[00:24:54] as

[00:24:54] looking

[00:24:54] at

[00:24:55] a

[00:24:56] vivid

[00:24:57] violent

[00:24:58] stream

[00:24:59] a cascade

[00:25:00] of water

[00:25:01] this

[00:25:02] river

[00:25:03] is

[00:25:03] like

[00:25:05] it

[00:25:05] looks

[00:25:06] calm

[00:25:10] steadily

[00:25:10] and

[00:25:10] slowly

[00:25:11] but

[00:25:12] I

[00:25:13] swimmed

[00:25:13] in

[00:25:14] that

[00:25:14] stream

[00:25:15] and

[00:25:16] the

[00:25:17] force

[00:25:18] is

[00:25:18] like

[00:25:19] really

[00:25:20] strong

[00:25:20] you

[00:25:21] can be

[00:25:22] drawn

[00:25:22] downstream

[00:25:23] like

[00:25:23] kilometers

[00:25:24] if

[00:25:26] you're

[00:25:26] not

[00:25:26] careful

[00:25:26] it's

[00:25:27] very

[00:25:28] hard

[00:25:28] to

[00:25:28] swim

[00:25:28] across

[00:25:29] it

[00:25:29] and

[00:25:32] every

[00:25:32] day

[00:25:33] we're

[00:25:34] like

[00:25:36] this

[00:25:37] totally

[00:25:38] unique

[00:25:38] world

[00:25:39] by

[00:25:39] the

[00:25:40] river

[00:25:40] I

[00:25:43] was

[00:25:43] only

[00:25:43] there

[00:25:43] in

[00:25:44] summertime

[00:25:44] so

[00:25:44] I

[00:25:45] don't

[00:25:45] know

[00:25:45] whether

[00:25:46] or not

[00:25:46] this

[00:25:46] applies

[00:25:48] to

[00:25:48] the

[00:25:49] winter

[00:25:49] stream

[00:25:50] as

[00:25:50] well

[00:25:52] but

[00:25:53] I

[00:25:53] could

[00:25:53] come

[00:25:53] there

[00:25:54] in

[00:25:54] the

[00:25:54] morning

[00:25:54] and

[00:25:56] there

[00:25:57] could

[00:25:57] be

[00:25:57] this

[00:25:58] cloudy

[00:26:00] thunderstorm

[00:26:00] on its

[00:26:01] way

[00:26:03] and

[00:26:04] the

[00:26:06] clouds

[00:26:06] it

[00:26:07] was

[00:26:07] almost

[00:26:08] like

[00:26:09] the

[00:26:09] clouds

[00:26:09] and

[00:26:10] the

[00:26:13] were

[00:26:13] dressed

[00:26:14] to

[00:26:14] wear

[00:26:14] today

[00:26:15] because

[00:26:16] the

[00:26:16] clouds

[00:26:16] and

[00:26:17] the

[00:26:18] river

[00:26:19] were

[00:26:19] almost

[00:26:20] identical

[00:26:21] almost

[00:26:22] every

[00:26:23] time

[00:26:23] not

[00:26:24] every

[00:26:24] time

[00:26:24] sometimes

[00:26:25] they

[00:26:25] differed

[00:26:26] like

[00:26:27] a lot

[00:26:27] and

[00:26:28] then

[00:26:28] you

[00:26:29] realized

[00:26:29] you

[00:26:30] discovered

[00:26:31] that

[00:26:32] because

[00:26:32] it was

[00:26:33] so

[00:26:34] unconventional

[00:26:35] because

[00:26:38] they were

[00:26:38] almost

[00:26:39] always

[00:26:39] hand in

[00:26:40] hand

[00:26:40] in

[00:26:41] that

[00:26:41] regard

[00:26:41] and

[00:26:42] the river

[00:26:46] could be

[00:26:47] pitch

[00:26:47] black

[00:26:48] like

[00:26:50] this

[00:26:51] little

[00:26:51] lake

[00:26:51] in a

[00:26:52] forest

[00:26:52] but

[00:26:54] constantly

[00:26:56] moving

[00:26:56] with

[00:26:57] small

[00:26:58] but

[00:26:58] extremely

[00:27:00] forceful

[00:27:01] vortexes

[00:27:03] like

[00:27:03] scattered

[00:27:05] around

[00:27:05] caused

[00:27:07] by

[00:27:08] rocks

[00:27:09] and

[00:27:09] wood

[00:27:13] floating

[00:27:13] by

[00:27:14] or

[00:27:14] being

[00:27:14] stuck

[00:27:15] at

[00:27:15] the

[00:27:15] bottom

[00:27:15] I

[00:27:20] especially

[00:27:20] liked

[00:27:21] when

[00:27:21] the river

[00:27:22] was

[00:27:22] pitch

[00:27:22] black

[00:27:24] I

[00:27:25] don't

[00:27:25] know

[00:27:25] why

[00:27:25] I

[00:27:25] I've

[00:27:26] always

[00:27:27] enjoyed

[00:27:28] pitch

[00:27:29] black

[00:27:29] stuff

[00:27:31] I'm

[00:27:32] not

[00:27:32] sure

[00:27:32] why

[00:27:33] I

[00:27:33] think

[00:27:33] it

[00:27:35] makes

[00:27:36] me

[00:27:36] feel

[00:27:37] safe

[00:27:38] I

[00:27:39] know

[00:27:40] that

[00:27:40] sounds

[00:27:41] weird

[00:27:41] but

[00:27:44] I

[00:27:44] view

[00:27:45] myself

[00:27:46] as

[00:27:46] sort

[00:27:47] of

[00:27:47] a

[00:27:47] thin

[00:27:49] layer

[00:27:50] of

[00:27:50] comprehensible

[00:27:51] stuff

[00:27:52] and then

[00:27:52] beneath

[00:27:53] it's

[00:27:54] just

[00:27:55] this

[00:27:56] black

[00:27:56] void

[00:27:57] and

[00:27:58] I'm

[00:28:01] more

[00:28:02] afraid

[00:28:02] of that

[00:28:03] void

[00:28:03] when I

[00:28:03] try to

[00:28:04] pretend

[00:28:05] like it

[00:28:06] doesn't

[00:28:06] exist

[00:28:08] whenever I

[00:28:10] say yes

[00:28:10] to that

[00:28:11] void

[00:28:11] because

[00:28:12] I

[00:28:12] believe

[00:28:13] I

[00:28:13] truly

[00:28:13] believe

[00:28:13] that

[00:28:14] we

[00:28:14] all

[00:28:14] carry

[00:28:14] that

[00:28:15] within

[00:28:15] us

[00:28:15] whenever

[00:28:16] I

[00:28:17] say

[00:28:17] yes

[00:28:19] yeah

[00:28:19] you're

[00:28:20] there

[00:28:21] hello

[00:28:22] void

[00:28:23] I

[00:28:24] feel

[00:28:25] some

[00:28:28] sort

[00:28:28] of

[00:28:28] comfort

[00:28:29] I

[00:28:29] guess

[00:28:29] so

[00:28:36] I

[00:28:36] I

[00:28:36] really

[00:28:37] love

[00:28:37] that

[00:28:37] and

[00:28:41] one

[00:28:41] day

[00:28:42] this

[00:28:43] job

[00:28:43] that I

[00:28:44] had

[00:28:44] was

[00:28:45] a

[00:28:45] very

[00:28:45] turbulent

[00:28:45] one

[00:28:46] many

[00:28:47] acting

[00:28:48] jobs

[00:28:48] especially

[00:28:49] those

[00:28:49] when

[00:28:49] you're

[00:28:50] out

[00:28:50] of

[00:28:50] town

[00:28:51] and

[00:28:52] you

[00:28:53] meet

[00:28:53] people

[00:28:53] that

[00:28:54] you

[00:28:54] get

[00:28:54] to

[00:28:54] hang

[00:28:54] out

[00:28:55] with

[00:28:55] like

[00:28:55] very

[00:28:56] intensively

[00:28:57] and

[00:28:57] frequently

[00:28:58] for a

[00:28:58] short

[00:28:59] period

[00:28:59] of

[00:28:59] time

[00:28:59] and

[00:29:00] then

[00:29:00] you

[00:29:01] go

[00:29:01] back

[00:29:01] to

[00:29:01] your

[00:29:01] normal

[00:29:02] life

[00:29:02] it's

[00:29:04] almost

[00:29:04] like

[00:29:04] you're

[00:29:05] entering

[00:29:05] this

[00:29:05] separate

[00:29:06] world

[00:29:06] and

[00:29:07] this

[00:29:08] was

[00:29:08] during

[00:29:08] my

[00:29:08] younger

[00:29:09] years

[00:29:09] so

[00:29:09] I

[00:29:11] drank

[00:29:12] a lot

[00:29:14] not

[00:29:15] like

[00:29:15] more

[00:29:16] than

[00:29:16] other

[00:29:16] people

[00:29:17] it

[00:29:17] was

[00:29:18] like

[00:29:18] this

[00:29:18] really

[00:29:19] it

[00:29:20] was

[00:29:20] a

[00:29:20] very

[00:29:20] festive

[00:29:21] atmosphere

[00:29:22] and

[00:29:23] I

[00:29:23] really

[00:29:23] enjoyed

[00:29:24] it

[00:29:24] let

[00:29:24] me

[00:29:24] just

[00:29:24] say

[00:29:25] that

[00:29:25] first

[00:29:26] but

[00:29:27] if

[00:29:28] you've

[00:29:28] listened

[00:29:29] to

[00:29:29] this

[00:29:29] podcast

[00:29:29] long

[00:29:30] enough

[00:29:30] you

[00:29:30] know

[00:29:30] that

[00:29:31] I

[00:29:31] am

[00:29:32] sober

[00:29:32] today

[00:29:33] because

[00:29:33] I

[00:29:33] discovered

[00:29:34] that

[00:29:34] I

[00:29:34] really

[00:29:35] have

[00:29:36] a

[00:29:37] personality

[00:29:37] type

[00:29:38] that

[00:29:39] doesn't

[00:29:39] go

[00:29:39] well

[00:29:40] together

[00:29:40] with

[00:29:42] alcohol

[00:29:42] or

[00:29:43] other

[00:29:44] drugs

[00:29:44] for

[00:29:44] that

[00:29:45] matter

[00:29:46] so

[00:29:48] I

[00:29:49] decided

[00:29:49] to

[00:29:49] quit

[00:29:50] before

[00:29:50] it

[00:29:51] became

[00:29:52] this

[00:29:52] huge

[00:29:53] issue

[00:29:53] for

[00:29:53] me

[00:29:54] and

[00:29:55] it's

[00:29:55] always

[00:29:56] been

[00:29:56] this

[00:29:56] on

[00:29:57] and

[00:29:57] off

[00:29:57] relationship

[00:29:58] with

[00:29:58] alcohol

[00:29:59] my

[00:30:00] whole

[00:30:00] life

[00:30:01] has

[00:30:01] been

[00:30:01] like

[00:30:02] I'm

[00:30:02] not

[00:30:02] going

[00:30:03] to

[00:30:03] touch

[00:30:03] the

[00:30:03] stuff

[00:30:03] or

[00:30:05] I

[00:30:05] want

[00:30:06] to

[00:30:06] be

[00:30:06] drunk

[00:30:07] every

[00:30:07] day

[00:30:07] kind

[00:30:08] of

[00:30:08] thing

[00:30:09] and

[00:30:10] during

[00:30:12] my

[00:30:12] during

[00:30:16] my

[00:30:17] summer

[00:30:18] months

[00:30:19] in

[00:30:20] this

[00:30:20] little

[00:30:21] village

[00:30:22] where

[00:30:24] the

[00:30:24] play

[00:30:25] was

[00:30:25] held

[00:30:26] I

[00:30:27] was

[00:30:27] on

[00:30:28] a

[00:30:28] very

[00:30:28] on

[00:30:28] phase

[00:30:30] regarding

[00:30:30] alcohol

[00:30:31] and

[00:30:33] that

[00:30:35] has

[00:30:35] never

[00:30:35] been

[00:30:35] easy

[00:30:36] for

[00:30:36] me

[00:30:36] my

[00:30:38] conscious

[00:30:38] and

[00:30:39] my

[00:30:42] hypochondria

[00:30:43] and my

[00:30:44] anxiety

[00:30:44] and stuff

[00:30:45] are being

[00:30:45] very

[00:30:52] so

[00:30:52] I

[00:30:52] had

[00:30:53] these

[00:30:54] extremely

[00:30:55] deep

[00:30:57] states

[00:30:57] of

[00:30:58] anxiety

[00:30:58] during

[00:30:59] my

[00:30:59] party

[00:31:00] days

[00:31:01] this

[00:31:03] was

[00:31:04] like

[00:31:05] 10

[00:31:06] 12

[00:31:07] years

[00:31:07] ago

[00:31:08] I

[00:31:08] guess

[00:31:08] and

[00:31:09] I'm

[00:31:12] going

[00:31:12] to

[00:31:13] return

[00:31:13] to

[00:31:13] this

[00:31:13] pitch

[00:31:14] black

[00:31:14] river

[00:31:14] in a

[00:31:15] second

[00:31:15] because

[00:31:16] this

[00:31:16] story

[00:31:16] has

[00:31:17] to

[00:31:17] do

[00:31:17] with

[00:31:17] that

[00:31:25] the

[00:31:25] river

[00:31:25] and

[00:31:25] I

[00:31:25] just

[00:31:26] looked

[00:31:26] at

[00:31:27] it

[00:31:27] and

[00:31:27] it

[00:31:27] was

[00:31:27] almost

[00:31:28] like

[00:31:28] my

[00:31:29] state

[00:31:30] of

[00:31:30] mind

[00:31:31] and

[00:31:31] the

[00:31:31] river

[00:31:31] became

[00:31:32] the

[00:31:32] same

[00:31:32] you

[00:31:33] know

[00:31:33] and

[00:31:34] it

[00:31:35] was

[00:31:35] a

[00:31:35] source

[00:31:35] of

[00:31:35] great

[00:31:36] comfort

[00:31:37] for

[00:31:37] me

[00:31:37] when

[00:31:37] the

[00:31:38] river

[00:31:38] was

[00:31:38] pitch

[00:31:38] black

[00:31:39] because

[00:31:39] I

[00:31:39] felt

[00:31:40] that

[00:31:40] I

[00:31:40] could

[00:31:41] relate

[00:31:42] to

[00:31:43] whatever

[00:31:44] was

[00:31:44] making

[00:31:44] the

[00:31:46] water

[00:31:46] pitch

[00:31:47] black

[00:31:47] you

[00:31:55] lost

[00:31:55] and

[00:31:55] homeless

[00:31:56] and

[00:31:56] depressed

[00:31:57] and

[00:31:57] also

[00:31:58] had

[00:31:58] a lot

[00:31:59] of

[00:31:59] longing

[00:31:59] and

[00:31:59] excitement

[00:32:00] and

[00:32:01] this

[00:32:02] urge

[00:32:03] for

[00:32:04] kicks

[00:32:04] and

[00:32:07] to be

[00:32:09] able

[00:32:09] to be

[00:32:09] happy

[00:32:09] about

[00:32:10] me

[00:32:10] and

[00:32:10] stuff

[00:32:11] so

[00:32:14] one

[00:32:14] day

[00:32:14] I

[00:32:15] decided

[00:32:16] that

[00:32:17] I'm

[00:32:17] done

[00:32:17] with

[00:32:18] this

[00:32:18] kind

[00:32:18] of

[00:32:18] life

[00:32:19] so

[00:32:20] over

[00:32:20] the

[00:32:20] years

[00:32:21] I

[00:32:21] had

[00:32:22] got

[00:32:23] a lot

[00:32:23] of

[00:32:24] flowers

[00:32:25] you

[00:32:26] tend

[00:32:26] to get

[00:32:26] that

[00:32:26] when

[00:32:27] you're

[00:32:27] on

[00:32:27] stage

[00:32:28] when

[00:32:29] the

[00:32:29] play

[00:32:29] is

[00:32:30] over

[00:32:30] you

[00:32:31] get

[00:32:31] flowers

[00:32:31] bouquets

[00:32:32] from

[00:32:34] either

[00:32:34] people

[00:32:34] you

[00:32:35] know

[00:32:35] coming

[00:32:35] to

[00:32:36] watch

[00:32:36] the

[00:32:36] show

[00:32:36] or

[00:32:37] the

[00:32:38] production

[00:32:38] itself

[00:32:38] as a

[00:32:39] thank

[00:32:40] you

[00:32:40] for

[00:32:41] delivering

[00:32:42] I

[00:32:42] guess

[00:32:43] and

[00:32:44] every

[00:32:44] year

[00:32:45] since

[00:32:46] this

[00:32:46] play

[00:32:46] was

[00:32:47] only

[00:32:47] held

[00:32:48] in

[00:32:48] the

[00:32:48] summers

[00:32:48] so

[00:32:49] the

[00:32:49] house

[00:32:50] where

[00:32:50] the

[00:32:50] main

[00:32:51] house

[00:32:52] on

[00:32:52] stage

[00:32:52] where

[00:32:53] we

[00:32:53] also

[00:32:54] had

[00:32:54] our

[00:32:54] dressing

[00:32:54] rooms

[00:32:55] and

[00:32:55] stuff

[00:32:55] it

[00:32:56] was

[00:32:56] just

[00:32:57] locked

[00:32:57] up

[00:32:57] for

[00:32:58] almost

[00:32:58] the

[00:32:58] entire

[00:32:59] year

[00:32:59] so

[00:33:02] I

[00:33:02] just

[00:33:02] saved

[00:33:03] the

[00:33:04] flowers

[00:33:06] whenever

[00:33:06] I was

[00:33:07] done

[00:33:07] for the

[00:33:08] year

[00:33:08] I

[00:33:08] just

[00:33:08] hang

[00:33:09] them up

[00:33:10] in my

[00:33:10] dressing

[00:33:10] room

[00:33:11] or

[00:33:11] rather

[00:33:12] it was

[00:33:12] it was not

[00:33:13] so much

[00:33:14] of a

[00:33:14] room

[00:33:14] it was

[00:33:15] more like

[00:33:15] a booth

[00:33:16] with a

[00:33:16] curtain

[00:33:17] in front

[00:33:17] of

[00:33:18] and

[00:33:19] I

[00:33:19] hung up

[00:33:21] my

[00:33:22] flowers

[00:33:22] there

[00:33:23] to dry

[00:33:23] and

[00:33:24] the

[00:33:25] next

[00:33:25] year

[00:33:25] I

[00:33:25] just

[00:33:26] hung

[00:33:26] up

[00:33:26] the

[00:33:27] next

[00:33:27] flowers

[00:33:28] you

[00:33:28] know

[00:33:28] I

[00:33:29] got

[00:33:29] so

[00:33:30] my

[00:33:30] dressing

[00:33:30] room

[00:33:30] was

[00:33:30] filled

[00:33:31] with

[00:33:32] dried

[00:33:32] flower

[00:33:33] bouquets

[00:33:34] roses

[00:33:35] and

[00:33:36] other

[00:33:37] flowers

[00:33:37] like

[00:33:37] different

[00:33:39] types

[00:33:39] of

[00:33:40] Swedish

[00:33:40] flowers

[00:33:42] and

[00:33:44] during

[00:33:45] one of

[00:33:46] my

[00:33:47] feeling

[00:33:48] guilty

[00:33:48] about

[00:33:49] my

[00:33:49] way

[00:33:49] of

[00:33:49] life

[00:33:50] episodes

[00:33:50] I

[00:33:51] just

[00:33:51] decided

[00:33:52] I'm

[00:33:52] not

[00:33:52] going

[00:33:52] to do

[00:33:53] this

[00:33:53] anymore

[00:33:53] I'm

[00:33:55] going

[00:33:55] to be

[00:33:57] dignified

[00:33:57] I'm

[00:33:58] going

[00:33:58] to

[00:33:59] be

[00:34:01] dignified

[00:34:03] I'm

[00:34:04] going

[00:34:04] to

[00:34:04] carry

[00:34:04] myself

[00:34:05] with

[00:34:05] dignity

[00:34:06] I'm

[00:34:07] through

[00:34:07] with

[00:34:07] this

[00:34:08] being

[00:34:08] drunk

[00:34:09] and

[00:34:09] hungover

[00:34:10] and

[00:34:10] hungover

[00:34:13] so I

[00:34:13] just

[00:34:14] took

[00:34:14] all the

[00:34:14] flowers

[00:34:14] and I

[00:34:15] went

[00:34:15] out

[00:34:15] to

[00:34:15] the

[00:34:16] river

[00:34:16] behind

[00:34:16] the

[00:34:17] house

[00:34:18] and

[00:34:19] I

[00:34:23] what

[00:34:24] do

[00:34:24] you

[00:34:24] call

[00:34:24] it

[00:34:25] the

[00:34:26] the

[00:34:27] pontoon

[00:34:28] behind

[00:34:29] the

[00:34:29] house

[00:34:29] it

[00:34:30] was

[00:34:30] this

[00:34:31] wooden

[00:34:33] bridge

[00:34:34] like

[00:34:34] you

[00:34:36] could

[00:34:36] take

[00:34:36] that

[00:34:36] in

[00:34:37] order

[00:34:37] to

[00:34:38] avoid

[00:34:38] being

[00:34:39] seen

[00:34:39] by

[00:34:39] the

[00:34:39] audience

[00:34:40] you

[00:34:40] could

[00:34:40] go

[00:34:40] on

[00:34:41] this

[00:34:42] wooden

[00:34:42] plank

[00:34:43] passage

[00:34:44] behind

[00:34:45] down

[00:34:46] on

[00:34:46] the

[00:34:47] river

[00:34:47] so

[00:34:47] that

[00:34:47] you

[00:34:48] were

[00:34:48] hidden

[00:34:48] by

[00:34:48] the

[00:34:48] house

[00:34:49] and

[00:34:49] the

[00:34:50] bank

[00:34:50] down

[00:34:51] to

[00:34:51] the

[00:34:51] river

[00:34:52] so

[00:34:53] I

[00:34:53] went

[00:34:53] down

[00:34:54] there

[00:34:54] and

[00:34:54] there

[00:34:54] I

[00:34:54] was

[00:34:55] alone

[00:34:55] at

[00:34:56] the

[00:34:56] end

[00:34:56] of

[00:34:56] this

[00:34:57] walkway

[00:34:58] I

[00:34:59] just

[00:34:59] laid

[00:35:00] out

[00:35:01] all

[00:35:01] my

[00:35:02] flowers

[00:35:02] and

[00:35:03] it

[00:35:03] was

[00:35:03] almost

[00:35:04] like

[00:35:04] the

[00:35:05] river

[00:35:06] were

[00:35:06] made

[00:35:06] of

[00:35:07] this

[00:35:07] solid

[00:35:08] obsidian

[00:35:08] material

[00:35:10] I

[00:35:11] just

[00:35:11] put

[00:35:12] the

[00:35:12] flowers

[00:35:13] on

[00:35:13] top

[00:35:14] of

[00:35:14] the

[00:35:14] river

[00:35:14] that

[00:35:15] it

[00:35:15] seemed

[00:35:16] like

[00:35:16] this

[00:35:18] flat

[00:35:19] hard

[00:35:20] surface

[00:35:23] and

[00:35:23] I

[00:35:24] just

[00:35:25] laid

[00:35:25] them

[00:35:26] there

[00:35:27] and

[00:35:27] I

[00:35:28] watched

[00:35:28] them

[00:35:28] float

[00:35:29] away

[00:35:30] on

[00:35:30] this

[00:35:31] pitch

[00:35:31] black

[00:35:31] river

[00:35:33] and

[00:35:33] then

[00:35:33] one

[00:35:34] of

[00:35:34] my

[00:35:34] co-stars

[00:35:35] showed

[00:35:36] up

[00:35:36] and

[00:35:37] asked

[00:35:37] me

[00:35:37] what

[00:35:37] the

[00:35:38] hell

[00:35:38] are

[00:35:39] you

[00:35:39] doing

[00:35:39] like

[00:35:40] what

[00:35:41] are

[00:35:41] you

[00:35:41] crazy

[00:35:42] because

[00:35:42] it's

[00:35:42] like

[00:35:43] but I

[00:35:43] do

[00:35:44] stuff

[00:35:44] like

[00:35:44] that

[00:35:45] all

[00:35:45] the

[00:35:45] time

[00:35:46] I

[00:35:47] have

[00:35:47] this

[00:35:50] thing

[00:35:51] with

[00:35:53] ceremonies

[00:35:53] in a

[00:35:54] way

[00:35:54] I

[00:35:55] want

[00:35:56] to

[00:35:57] manifest

[00:35:57] big

[00:35:58] stuff

[00:35:59] that

[00:35:59] happens

[00:35:59] within

[00:36:00] me

[00:36:00] I

[00:36:00] want

[00:36:01] to

[00:36:01] manifest

[00:36:01] it

[00:36:01] on

[00:36:02] the

[00:36:02] outside

[00:36:02] so

[00:36:06] I

[00:36:06] did

[00:36:06] that

[00:36:08] and

[00:36:08] so

[00:36:12] of

[00:36:12] course

[00:36:12] Nanny

[00:36:13] she's

[00:36:14] done

[00:36:14] that

[00:36:14] a lot

[00:36:15] and

[00:36:16] now

[00:36:17] while

[00:36:18] I've

[00:36:18] been

[00:36:18] talking

[00:36:19] about

[00:36:19] my

[00:36:19] own

[00:36:19] personal

[00:36:20] life

[00:36:20] and

[00:36:21] experience

[00:36:21] with

[00:36:22] this

[00:36:22] my

[00:36:23] own

[00:36:23] river

[00:36:24] it's

[00:36:26] been

[00:36:27] 100

[00:36:28] years

[00:36:28] in

[00:36:29] Nanny's

[00:36:30] life

[00:36:30] so

[00:36:31] she's

[00:36:31] now

[00:36:33] 176

[00:36:34] and

[00:36:37] her

[00:36:38] wealth

[00:36:39] has

[00:36:40] now

[00:36:40] accumulated

[00:36:41] even

[00:36:41] more

[00:36:42] so

[00:36:42] she's

[00:36:42] well

[00:36:44] she's

[00:36:44] quite

[00:36:45] rich

[00:36:46] she

[00:36:47] placed

[00:36:49] her money

[00:36:49] at a

[00:36:50] young

[00:36:50] age

[00:36:51] she

[00:36:51] was

[00:36:53] smart

[00:36:54] enough

[00:36:54] to do

[00:36:54] that

[00:36:55] so

[00:36:56] since

[00:36:57] she's

[00:36:58] been

[00:36:58] living

[00:36:58] for

[00:36:59] 176

[00:37:00] years

[00:37:00] old

[00:37:01] this

[00:37:02] money

[00:37:02] has

[00:37:03] grown

[00:37:04] over

[00:37:05] decades

[00:37:05] and

[00:37:07] she's

[00:37:08] now

[00:37:08] quite

[00:37:08] wealthy

[00:37:09] but

[00:37:09] she

[00:37:10] only

[00:37:10] uses

[00:37:10] her

[00:37:11] money

[00:37:11] to

[00:37:11] keep

[00:37:14] up

[00:37:14] her

[00:37:14] own

[00:37:15] way

[00:37:15] of

[00:37:16] comfortable

[00:37:16] living

[00:37:17] she

[00:37:19] fell

[00:37:20] in

[00:37:20] love

[00:37:20] like

[00:37:20] 10

[00:37:21] years

[00:37:21] ago

[00:37:21] and

[00:37:22] married

[00:37:24] to

[00:37:24] another

[00:37:25] woman

[00:37:26] called

[00:37:26] Susie

[00:37:28] and

[00:37:29] Susie

[00:37:30] is

[00:37:30] well

[00:37:31] this is

[00:37:32] where

[00:37:32] it

[00:37:32] gets

[00:37:32] messy

[00:37:33] because

[00:37:34] Nanny

[00:37:35] is

[00:37:35] 176

[00:37:37] and

[00:37:37] her

[00:37:38] new

[00:37:38] partner

[00:37:38] Susie

[00:37:40] she's

[00:37:41] in her

[00:37:41] twenties

[00:37:41] and

[00:37:42] of course

[00:37:42] this

[00:37:43] could be

[00:37:43] looked upon

[00:37:44] with

[00:37:45] different

[00:37:45] problematic

[00:37:46] eyes

[00:37:46] you know

[00:37:47] it's

[00:37:48] but

[00:37:49] no one

[00:37:50] knows

[00:37:51] anymore

[00:37:51] exactly

[00:37:53] how

[00:37:53] old

[00:37:53] Nanny

[00:37:54] is

[00:37:54] because

[00:37:55] she

[00:37:56] looks

[00:37:56] like

[00:37:56] she's

[00:37:57] 20

[00:37:57] and

[00:37:57] not

[00:37:58] only

[00:37:58] looks

[00:37:59] she

[00:37:59] carries

[00:37:59] herself

[00:38:00] like

[00:38:00] she's

[00:38:00] 20

[00:38:00] she's

[00:38:01] this

[00:38:02] eternally

[00:38:04] young

[00:38:05] woman

[00:38:06] but

[00:38:09] once

[00:38:10] you get

[00:38:10] close to

[00:38:11] her

[00:38:11] once

[00:38:12] you get

[00:38:12] to

[00:38:12] know

[00:38:12] her

[00:38:13] you

[00:38:13] see

[00:38:14] that

[00:38:14] there's

[00:38:16] something

[00:38:18] you can't

[00:38:19] really

[00:38:20] touch

[00:38:20] beneath

[00:38:21] the

[00:38:21] eyes

[00:38:22] behind

[00:38:23] her

[00:38:23] manners

[00:38:26] a

[00:38:27] slowness

[00:38:28] a

[00:38:28] heaviness

[00:38:29] not

[00:38:30] in the

[00:38:31] way

[00:38:31] she

[00:38:31] moves

[00:38:32] it's

[00:38:33] more

[00:38:33] of

[00:38:33] the

[00:38:33] way

[00:38:34] that

[00:38:34] she

[00:38:34] views

[00:38:35] the

[00:38:36] world

[00:38:37] she

[00:38:38] looks

[00:38:38] at

[00:38:38] people

[00:38:39] and

[00:38:39] that's

[00:38:39] of

[00:38:40] course

[00:38:40] a

[00:38:41] very

[00:38:41] appealing

[00:38:42] trait

[00:38:46] that

[00:38:46] she

[00:38:47] carries

[00:38:49] people

[00:38:50] love

[00:38:50] her

[00:38:50] people

[00:38:51] really

[00:38:53] turn

[00:38:53] to

[00:38:53] her

[00:38:54] because

[00:38:55] she's

[00:38:55] seen

[00:38:56] so

[00:38:56] much

[00:38:56] she

[00:38:57] knows

[00:38:58] so

[00:38:58] much

[00:38:59] and

[00:39:00] since

[00:39:01] being a

[00:39:01] wealthy

[00:39:02] woman

[00:39:02] she can

[00:39:03] also

[00:39:03] take

[00:39:04] care

[00:39:04] of

[00:39:04] other

[00:39:04] people

[00:39:06] Susie

[00:39:06] for

[00:39:07] instance

[00:39:08] are

[00:39:09] being

[00:39:09] taken

[00:39:09] care

[00:39:09] of

[00:39:11] and

[00:39:11] they

[00:39:12] live

[00:39:12] there

[00:39:12] together

[00:39:12] by

[00:39:15] the

[00:39:15] river

[00:39:16] the

[00:39:17] same

[00:39:17] river

[00:39:17] the

[00:39:18] same

[00:39:18] hut

[00:39:18] although

[00:39:19] the

[00:39:20] hut

[00:39:20] has

[00:39:20] grown

[00:39:21] significantly

[00:39:21] over

[00:39:23] the

[00:39:23] years

[00:39:24] it's

[00:39:25] more

[00:39:25] of a

[00:39:25] house

[00:39:25] now

[00:39:26] but

[00:39:27] it

[00:39:27] still

[00:39:27] keeps

[00:39:28] the

[00:39:28] qualities

[00:39:29] of

[00:39:29] a

[00:39:29] hut

[00:39:29] like

[00:39:31] thin

[00:39:32] walls

[00:39:33] the

[00:39:34] climate

[00:39:35] at

[00:39:36] this

[00:39:36] river

[00:39:37] is

[00:39:38] thankfully

[00:39:39] a very

[00:39:39] mild

[00:39:41] one

[00:39:44] and

[00:39:46] she's

[00:39:47] also

[00:39:47] started

[00:39:49] a few

[00:39:50] help

[00:39:51] groups

[00:39:52] with

[00:39:53] people

[00:39:54] that

[00:39:54] she

[00:39:55] can

[00:39:55] afford

[00:39:55] to

[00:39:56] pay

[00:39:56] as

[00:39:56] well

[00:39:58] without

[00:39:59] ruining

[00:40:00] herself

[00:40:01] she

[00:40:02] can

[00:40:03] just

[00:40:04] pay

[00:40:05] for

[00:40:05] people

[00:40:06] to

[00:40:07] help

[00:40:08] the

[00:40:09] neighborhood

[00:40:10] so

[00:40:11] not

[00:40:12] only

[00:40:12] like

[00:40:14] in the

[00:40:14] immediate

[00:40:15] surroundings

[00:40:16] around

[00:40:16] Nanny

[00:40:17] and Susie

[00:40:17] you can

[00:40:18] be

[00:40:18] helped

[00:40:19] and

[00:40:20] supported

[00:40:20] this

[00:40:21] is

[00:40:22] like

[00:40:23] this

[00:40:23] major

[00:40:24] support

[00:40:24] network

[00:40:25] that

[00:40:26] stretches

[00:40:27] for

[00:40:29] almost

[00:40:29] the

[00:40:30] entire

[00:40:30] county

[00:40:31] and

[00:40:33] all

[00:40:35] over

[00:40:35] this

[00:40:37] vast

[00:40:38] neighborhood

[00:40:38] people

[00:40:40] truly

[00:40:40] love

[00:40:41] Nanny

[00:40:42] and

[00:40:43] she

[00:40:43] feels

[00:40:43] happy

[00:40:45] and

[00:40:48] sufficient

[00:40:49] and

[00:40:50] she

[00:40:51] thinks

[00:40:51] and

[00:40:52] feels

[00:40:53] that

[00:40:53] she's

[00:40:53] discovered

[00:40:54] the

[00:40:54] meaning

[00:40:55] of

[00:40:55] existence

[00:40:55] and

[00:40:56] she

[00:40:56] doesn't

[00:40:56] really

[00:40:56] think

[00:40:57] too

[00:40:57] much

[00:40:57] about

[00:40:58] the

[00:40:59] fact

[00:40:59] that

[00:40:59] she

[00:41:00] doesn't

[00:41:00] tend

[00:41:00] to

[00:41:01] ever

[00:41:02] get

[00:41:02] sick

[00:41:03] or

[00:41:03] frail

[00:41:05] weak

[00:41:07] and

[00:41:08] die

[00:41:08] and

[00:41:10] over

[00:41:11] the

[00:41:11] years

[00:41:11] Susie

[00:41:12] gets

[00:41:13] older

[00:41:14] everyone

[00:41:15] around

[00:41:15] her

[00:41:15] gets

[00:41:16] older

[00:41:18] and

[00:41:19] she's

[00:41:20] been in

[00:41:20] love

[00:41:21] before

[00:41:21] of course

[00:41:22] but

[00:41:23] with

[00:41:24] Susie

[00:41:24] it's

[00:41:25] different

[00:41:25] because

[00:41:25] she's

[00:41:26] at a

[00:41:26] place

[00:41:28] well

[00:41:29] Nanny

[00:41:29] is at

[00:41:30] a

[00:41:30] place

[00:41:30] in

[00:41:31] her

[00:41:32] own

[00:41:32] mind

[00:41:32] where

[00:41:32] she

[00:41:34] truly

[00:41:34] feels

[00:41:35] that

[00:41:35] she

[00:41:35] can

[00:41:35] see

[00:41:36] the

[00:41:36] beauty

[00:41:36] in

[00:41:36] other

[00:41:37] people

[00:41:37] without

[00:41:38] losing

[00:41:39] the

[00:41:41] sense

[00:41:42] of

[00:41:44] importance

[00:41:44] of

[00:41:45] other

[00:41:45] stuff

[00:41:45] you know

[00:41:47] it's

[00:41:47] not

[00:41:47] that

[00:41:48] wild

[00:41:49] crazy

[00:41:51] hormonial

[00:41:51] love

[00:41:52] state

[00:41:52] that

[00:41:54] she

[00:41:54] had

[00:41:54] when

[00:41:55] she

[00:41:55] was

[00:41:55] young

[00:41:55] it's

[00:41:58] deeper

[00:41:58] and

[00:42:00] to be

[00:42:00] honest

[00:42:02] like

[00:42:02] so much

[00:42:04] more

[00:42:04] valuable

[00:42:05] state

[00:42:05] of

[00:42:06] mind

[00:42:06] when

[00:42:07] you

[00:42:07] truly

[00:42:08] love

[00:42:08] you

[00:42:08] know

[00:42:11] and

[00:42:12] she

[00:42:13] feels

[00:42:13] young

[00:42:13] together

[00:42:14] with

[00:42:14] Susie

[00:42:15] not

[00:42:15] because

[00:42:16] Susie

[00:42:16] is

[00:42:16] young

[00:42:17] because

[00:42:18] in a

[00:42:18] way

[00:42:18] they are

[00:42:19] the

[00:42:19] same

[00:42:19] age

[00:42:19] it's

[00:42:20] just

[00:42:20] that

[00:42:22] Nanny

[00:42:22] has

[00:42:22] been

[00:42:23] this

[00:42:23] old

[00:42:24] for

[00:42:26] well

[00:42:26] more

[00:42:27] than

[00:42:27] a

[00:42:27] century

[00:42:28] now

[00:42:29] and

[00:42:30] but

[00:42:35] she

[00:42:35] feels

[00:42:35] young

[00:42:36] because

[00:42:37] Susie

[00:42:38] makes her

[00:42:39] see

[00:42:39] herself

[00:42:40] in a

[00:42:41] way

[00:42:41] like

[00:42:41] the

[00:42:42] river

[00:42:42] outside

[00:42:42] the

[00:42:43] house

[00:42:44] different

[00:42:45] every

[00:42:46] day

[00:42:47] and

[00:42:49] as

[00:42:51] Susie

[00:42:51] grows

[00:42:51] older

[00:42:53] getting

[00:42:54] frailer

[00:42:56] getting

[00:42:57] more

[00:42:57] frail

[00:43:02] dark

[00:43:03] spot

[00:43:05] within

[00:43:08] Nanny

[00:43:08] grows

[00:43:09] because

[00:43:12] she knows

[00:43:13] what's

[00:43:13] next

[00:43:13] she

[00:43:14] knows

[00:43:16] what's

[00:43:17] going to

[00:43:18] happen

[00:43:18] to

[00:43:18] Susie

[00:43:20] and

[00:43:22] although

[00:43:23] they

[00:43:24] live

[00:43:25] together

[00:43:25] for

[00:43:25] decades

[00:43:26] and

[00:43:27] decades

[00:43:27] at

[00:43:27] end

[00:43:28] one

[00:43:29] day

[00:43:29] Susie

[00:43:30] dies

[00:43:31] and

[00:43:32] then

[00:43:35] Nanny

[00:43:37] enters

[00:43:37] this

[00:43:38] period

[00:43:39] because

[00:43:40] she

[00:43:40] still

[00:43:41] is a

[00:43:42] 20

[00:43:43] year old

[00:43:43] woman

[00:43:45] it's

[00:43:46] almost

[00:43:46] like

[00:43:47] she's

[00:43:47] in a

[00:43:47] prison

[00:43:48] if you

[00:43:49] can

[00:43:49] imagine

[00:43:49] I

[00:43:50] mean

[00:43:51] it's

[00:43:52] easy

[00:43:52] at

[00:43:53] first

[00:43:54] glance

[00:43:54] to

[00:43:54] just

[00:43:55] say

[00:43:55] that

[00:43:55] not

[00:43:56] aging

[00:43:57] would

[00:43:57] be

[00:43:57] like

[00:43:58] this

[00:43:58] dream

[00:43:58] state

[00:43:59] that

[00:44:00] I

[00:44:01] mean

[00:44:01] what

[00:44:01] could

[00:44:01] possibly

[00:44:02] be

[00:44:02] bad

[00:44:03] but

[00:44:04] imagine

[00:44:04] that

[00:44:05] any

[00:44:05] other

[00:44:06] person

[00:44:07] around

[00:44:07] you

[00:44:08] that

[00:44:08] you

[00:44:08] get

[00:44:08] attached

[00:44:09] to

[00:44:09] and

[00:44:09] even

[00:44:09] people

[00:44:10] that

[00:44:10] you

[00:44:10] don't

[00:44:10] care

[00:44:11] about

[00:44:11] grows

[00:44:12] older

[00:44:12] and

[00:44:13] the

[00:44:13] older

[00:44:14] you

[00:44:14] get

[00:44:14] the

[00:44:15] faster

[00:44:15] the

[00:44:16] other

[00:44:16] people's

[00:44:16] aging

[00:44:17] processes

[00:44:18] seem

[00:44:19] to

[00:44:19] you

[00:44:20] it's

[00:44:21] almost

[00:44:21] like

[00:44:22] she's

[00:44:22] standing

[00:44:22] at a

[00:44:24] crossroad

[00:44:24] watching

[00:44:25] the

[00:44:25] traffic

[00:44:27] speed

[00:44:28] by

[00:44:28] in

[00:44:28] like

[00:44:30] this

[00:44:31] accelerated

[00:44:32] speed

[00:44:32] like in

[00:44:33] a music

[00:44:34] video

[00:44:36] a

[00:44:37] time

[00:44:38] lapse

[00:44:38] of

[00:44:39] life

[00:44:40] happening

[00:44:40] around

[00:44:41] you

[00:44:41] while

[00:44:41] you

[00:44:42] still

[00:44:42] you're

[00:44:43] not

[00:44:44] influenced

[00:44:45] by any

[00:44:46] of it

[00:44:46] you're

[00:44:46] not

[00:44:46] affected

[00:44:47] by the

[00:44:47] traits

[00:44:48] of

[00:44:48] time

[00:44:48] and

[00:44:54] so

[00:44:55] goes

[00:44:55] 245

[00:44:56] years

[00:44:59] and

[00:45:00] nanny

[00:45:01] is

[00:45:02] now

[00:45:05] 300

[00:45:06] and

[00:45:07] no

[00:45:10] she's

[00:45:10] 400

[00:45:12] no

[00:45:13] wait

[00:45:13] I need

[00:45:14] to count

[00:45:15] on my

[00:45:15] fingers

[00:45:16] I'm not

[00:45:16] good

[00:45:17] with

[00:45:17] math

[00:45:17] so

[00:45:18] he

[00:45:18] was

[00:45:18] she

[00:45:19] was

[00:45:19] 176

[00:45:20] before

[00:45:21] and

[00:45:22] then

[00:45:22] there's

[00:45:22] this

[00:45:23] 245

[00:45:24] so

[00:45:28] okay

[00:45:31] so

[00:45:31] 176

[00:45:33] plus

[00:45:34] 45

[00:45:34] first

[00:45:35] of all

[00:45:36] 76

[00:45:38] 86

[00:45:39] 96

[00:45:40] 106

[00:45:47] 164

[00:45:49] so

[00:45:51] she's

[00:45:53] 464

[00:45:54] years

[00:45:54] old

[00:45:55] I could

[00:46:00] be

[00:46:00] totally

[00:46:01] wrong

[00:46:01] here

[00:46:01] okay

[00:46:02] she's

[00:46:03] almost

[00:46:03] half

[00:46:05] a

[00:46:05] millennia

[00:46:07] and

[00:46:10] she's

[00:46:10] been

[00:46:11] well I

[00:46:12] guess

[00:46:12] you could

[00:46:13] call her

[00:46:13] depressed

[00:46:14] for this

[00:46:15] time

[00:46:15] she

[00:46:17] hasn't

[00:46:17] really

[00:46:18] attached

[00:46:19] herself

[00:46:20] to anyone

[00:46:20] new

[00:46:22] since

[00:46:23] Susie

[00:46:23] died

[00:46:24] and

[00:46:25] she

[00:46:25] hasn't

[00:46:26] she

[00:46:27] has

[00:46:28] lived

[00:46:28] a

[00:46:29] very

[00:46:30] withdrawn

[00:46:31] life

[00:46:31] her

[00:46:33] help

[00:46:33] organizations

[00:46:34] around

[00:46:36] the

[00:46:36] county

[00:46:37] has

[00:46:37] widened

[00:46:38] even

[00:46:39] more

[00:46:39] and

[00:46:41] are

[00:46:43] now

[00:46:43] the

[00:46:44] most

[00:46:45] prominent

[00:46:45] organization

[00:46:46] in the

[00:46:47] world

[00:46:48] since

[00:46:50] it's

[00:46:50] so

[00:46:50] old

[00:46:51] and

[00:46:51] her

[00:46:52] wealth

[00:46:52] has

[00:46:53] accumulated

[00:46:54] even

[00:46:54] more

[00:46:54] so

[00:46:55] the

[00:46:56] money

[00:46:56] is not

[00:46:57] an

[00:46:57] issue

[00:46:57] and

[00:46:58] she

[00:46:59] does

[00:46:59] a lot

[00:46:59] of

[00:46:59] good

[00:47:00] but

[00:47:01] she

[00:47:02] herself

[00:47:02] are

[00:47:03] not

[00:47:04] happy

[00:47:04] she

[00:47:05] lives

[00:47:06] in

[00:47:07] the

[00:47:07] same

[00:47:07] house

[00:47:08] and

[00:47:10] she's

[00:47:11] looking

[00:47:11] at the

[00:47:12] world

[00:47:12] like

[00:47:13] this

[00:47:13] time

[00:47:13] lapse

[00:47:14] and

[00:47:14] she

[00:47:15] doesn't

[00:47:15] really

[00:47:15] understand

[00:47:16] why

[00:47:17] why

[00:47:18] is she

[00:47:19] this

[00:47:19] way

[00:47:19] why

[00:47:20] can't

[00:47:20] she

[00:47:21] just

[00:47:21] be

[00:47:21] like

[00:47:21] any

[00:47:22] other

[00:47:22] person

[00:47:23] that

[00:47:24] gets

[00:47:25] put

[00:47:26] into

[00:47:26] this

[00:47:26] world

[00:47:27] without

[00:47:27] knowing

[00:47:28] why

[00:47:28] lives

[00:47:29] a

[00:47:29] life

[00:47:29] falls

[00:47:30] in

[00:47:30] love

[00:47:30] does

[00:47:32] stuff

[00:47:32] and

[00:47:33] avoids

[00:47:34] stuff

[00:47:34] and

[00:47:35] then

[00:47:35] dies

[00:47:35] why

[00:47:36] is

[00:47:36] she

[00:47:37] this

[00:47:39] perpetual

[00:47:39] being

[00:47:40] but

[00:47:45] then

[00:47:45] one

[00:47:45] day

[00:47:46] she's

[00:47:47] out

[00:47:47] on

[00:47:49] one

[00:47:50] of

[00:47:50] her

[00:47:50] daily

[00:47:50] walks

[00:47:51] she

[00:47:57] other

[00:47:57] other

[00:47:58] administrators

[00:47:59] of her

[00:48:00] own

[00:48:00] organization

[00:48:01] it

[00:48:02] tends

[00:48:03] to