In this deeply personal episode, Henrik talks about his relationship with the TV show Buffy the Vampire Slayer, weaving together themes of loneliness, redemption, and the healing power of storytelling.
From his darkest days in a Stockholm suburb to his current life as a content creator, Henrik reflects on how fictional characters can become real comfort during difficult times.
With his signature stream-of-consciousness style, he explores the beauty of imperfect art, the nature of storytelling itself, and how even "crap" can be transformative when created with heart.
Between musings about narrative structure and childhood play, Henrik opens up about his own struggles with unemployment, heartbreak, and finding his way back to happiness.
This episode is a perfect example of how Henrik's seemingly random thoughts come together to create something surprisingly profound and comforting.
For more information on Henrik StÄhl, click here: https://linktr.ee/Henrikstahl
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[00:00:00] Hi Sleepy, just a very quick note before we start today's episode.
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[00:01:24] Hi and welcome to Fall Asleep with Henrik.
[00:01:28] I'm Henrik.
[00:01:30] And you're sleepy.
[00:01:33] And it is what it is.
[00:01:36] What happens happens.
[00:01:39] And right now, there is nothing we can do.
[00:01:43] About any of it.
[00:01:47] So, here we go.
[00:01:51] Hi sleepy.
[00:01:53] And welcome back to my humble abode.
[00:01:58] This is, I can't remember in what order the episodes come.
[00:02:09] This is number 33 maybe or something like that.
[00:02:18] If you're new to this concept, this is a falling asleep kind of podcast.
[00:02:27] I'm just going to talk.
[00:02:29] I don't prepare anything beforehand.
[00:02:32] I won't edit anything out.
[00:02:37] You will hear me clear my throat from time to time.
[00:02:40] And you won't hear me talk about necessarily things that normally is being talked about in sleep podcasts.
[00:02:50] I talk.
[00:02:53] I talk.
[00:02:54] And that's just it.
[00:02:57] There's nothing else.
[00:03:01] I just talk without preparing.
[00:03:04] And not necessarily knowing what I talk about.
[00:03:11] I don't have any particular knowledge about sleeping or about relaxing or anything really.
[00:03:19] I'm just this Swedish random dude.
[00:03:25] And I'm here to talk you to sleep.
[00:03:31] With that said, if you're not here to fall asleep, that's okay too.
[00:03:37] I can't just put you to sleep by, you know, using some sort of magic.
[00:03:48] If you don't fall asleep, then you don't fall asleep.
[00:03:51] And I mean, it's all in good order.
[00:03:59] I just talk.
[00:04:01] And if this is not your game, this is not your bag or whatever.
[00:04:09] I'm totally fine with you listening to this without falling asleep.
[00:04:14] In Sweden, there's this 60-40 number of people that the 40% of the listeners are actually listening to my podcast in Swedish.
[00:04:30] I do this podcast in Swedish as well.
[00:04:33] So they listen to it without going to sleep.
[00:04:36] So that's fine too.
[00:04:37] I mean, occasionally I say fun stuff.
[00:04:44] And occasionally I tend to, well, not occasionally.
[00:04:50] All of the time I tend to talk from my own very weird and sometimes unfamiliar perspective on things.
[00:05:03] And I guess the only thing I don't want you to be or do is expecting me to say something profound and wise and funny.
[00:05:21] I don't, well, maybe I will by accident say something that's all of that.
[00:05:32] But probably not.
[00:05:38] The thing you're going to get from this hour is a dose of me.
[00:05:45] A dose of Henrik sitting in his studio, in his garden in Stockholm, Sweden, talking his brains out.
[00:06:00] I have my What Would Buffy Do hoodie on.
[00:06:07] And, well, okay, so I might as well just tell you about my Buffy face.
[00:06:16] You know, Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
[00:06:20] This is an oldie by now.
[00:06:22] But I guess many of you know the series.
[00:06:27] When I was, I don't remember really how old I was, but I was a grown up.
[00:06:33] I was, this was maybe 2004, 2005, something like that.
[00:06:41] And I lived in this suburb outside of Stockholm.
[00:06:49] And in Stockholm, the suburbs are normally worse.
[00:06:55] I mean, status-wise, it's worse to live in the suburb.
[00:07:02] The cooler and richer you are, the closer to the city center you live.
[00:07:08] You can, yeah, maybe that's a bit of an over-exaggeration.
[00:07:15] But not so much.
[00:07:18] The suburbs can be, I mean, wealthy places, but mostly it's, yeah.
[00:07:27] So I lived in a place that was not so glamorous.
[00:07:32] And I became unemployed.
[00:07:39] My contract at the Swedish television show that I was working on expired.
[00:07:48] And I didn't get a renewal.
[00:07:51] Or rather, I asked for it not to be renewed.
[00:07:57] Because I was an idiot.
[00:08:04] All things considered, I think it was kind of cool of me to do that.
[00:08:09] Because I had an image of me not staying at that place for decades at end.
[00:08:19] And I was the host of a Swedish television show for children.
[00:08:30] And yeah, it was fun, but it wasn't my thing, really.
[00:08:36] I'm an actor, and it was fun for a while.
[00:08:41] But after a few years, I felt that I wasn't growing as much.
[00:08:50] So when they asked me if I wanted to continue, I said no.
[00:08:54] So that's on me.
[00:08:56] Because what I didn't expect was that the second I said no, I went completely unemployed.
[00:09:08] I had always imagined that someone else would pick me up.
[00:09:16] Maybe some of the stage places, the theaters that I've been working on previously would pick me up.
[00:09:25] But no one had a job for me.
[00:09:30] And that was the case for two years, I think.
[00:09:34] And that was one of the darkest periods in my life.
[00:09:39] This was 2004, 2005.
[00:09:45] Maybe a bit of 2006 as well.
[00:09:49] I can't remember really.
[00:09:51] But I was truly very sad.
[00:09:57] And I lived in this suburb, and I had no money.
[00:10:00] And my girlfriend at the time, she broke up with me.
[00:10:03] Or rather, she was on this.
[00:10:08] She was a journalist, and she was in China doing undercover reporting over there.
[00:10:16] And, I mean, imagine the coolness.
[00:10:21] So she was there, and there she, I guess she kind of fell in love with her co-worker.
[00:10:27] And I always say this.
[00:10:29] I mean, I totally get it, you know.
[00:10:35] Just think of it.
[00:10:37] You're in a foreign country, and you're doing undercover reporting.
[00:10:43] You're passing it as someone else, doing very secret undercover jobs.
[00:10:51] And the one you're doing that together with,
[00:10:55] I mean, it would be weird if nothing happened between you, you know.
[00:11:01] So anyway, she kind of fell in love with him or something.
[00:11:07] And when she told me, I wasn't very sad because we didn't have a very...
[00:11:14] We were going to end anyway, so might as well be this.
[00:11:18] And we decided to take a break, I think.
[00:11:21] That was the initial phrase of it.
[00:11:26] But then, of course, when she left me, I was devastated,
[00:11:32] as you are when you were being left.
[00:11:36] It doesn't matter if you think it's the right choice or not.
[00:11:42] Just being the one that is left behind is awful.
[00:11:48] So I was unemployed.
[00:11:52] And I lived in this suburb, and I was dumped.
[00:11:59] I was heartbroken.
[00:12:04] And also, to add even more anxiety to this,
[00:12:09] I owed her, my ex-girlfriend, like 70,000 Swedish tronor.
[00:12:20] That's about $7,000.
[00:12:24] And she said, it's no rush, you know.
[00:12:28] But the humiliation of owing her money
[00:12:32] and watching her live the best life,
[00:12:36] I can't remember if she got together with that co-worker or not.
[00:12:42] I still see him.
[00:12:45] I see his name from time to time in the newspapers
[00:12:48] and in other stuff,
[00:12:50] and her name as well.
[00:12:53] And, I mean, don't get me wrong,
[00:12:56] this is like 20 years ago.
[00:12:58] And I, as I said, I totally get it.
[00:13:06] And we're gonna end anyway, you know.
[00:13:11] But whenever I see their names,
[00:13:13] I think about the past.
[00:13:15] And I think about,
[00:13:19] I'm very glad that the past is over.
[00:13:22] Because I weren't that wise back then.
[00:13:28] And I was very driven by impulses and,
[00:13:34] yeah.
[00:13:35] Anyway, so in this,
[00:13:37] in that day and age,
[00:13:39] I got hooked on Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
[00:13:43] Unemployed,
[00:13:45] heartbroken,
[00:13:47] money-owing,
[00:13:49] living in a suburb.
[00:13:51] My self-confidence was at an all-time low.
[00:13:55] And, yeah, I was so sad.
[00:14:03] And then,
[00:14:04] one of our,
[00:14:06] one of the channels
[00:14:07] at night
[00:14:09] used to broadcast, like,
[00:14:12] Buffy marathons,
[00:14:13] like,
[00:14:14] two or three or five episodes
[00:14:16] of the later seasons.
[00:14:19] And,
[00:14:20] I was,
[00:14:23] well,
[00:14:23] I was out partying,
[00:14:25] I guess.
[00:14:26] The,
[00:14:26] the little money that I had,
[00:14:28] I spent on,
[00:14:29] on,
[00:14:31] well,
[00:14:32] partying.
[00:14:34] And,
[00:14:35] of course,
[00:14:36] that wasn't very happy partying.
[00:14:38] I guess,
[00:14:39] low self-confidence,
[00:14:41] and,
[00:14:42] low self-esteem,
[00:14:44] and,
[00:14:46] little money,
[00:14:48] and,
[00:14:48] alcohol.
[00:14:50] It's not a very good combination.
[00:14:52] I was,
[00:14:56] grandly unhappy.
[00:15:00] And,
[00:15:00] thought of myself as,
[00:15:02] the lowest of the low lives.
[00:15:05] So,
[00:15:06] when I came home from,
[00:15:07] wherever I'd been,
[00:15:09] at night,
[00:15:11] or early in the morning,
[00:15:13] I used to watch,
[00:15:15] these,
[00:15:17] Buffy marathons.
[00:15:20] it was,
[00:15:21] it was sort of like,
[00:15:22] reruns.
[00:15:24] And,
[00:15:26] while I was eating my,
[00:15:28] late night hamburger,
[00:15:29] or whatever,
[00:15:31] or noodles,
[00:15:32] or whatever I had in my kitchen,
[00:15:36] the only thing I really had,
[00:15:37] in my kitchen back then,
[00:15:39] was,
[00:15:39] because I,
[00:15:40] tended to,
[00:15:42] okay,
[00:15:43] so this is gonna sound weird,
[00:15:44] because I had no money,
[00:15:45] but of course,
[00:15:46] I had some money.
[00:15:49] Otherwise,
[00:15:49] I wouldn't have been able to,
[00:15:50] keep living in my,
[00:15:52] in my apartment.
[00:15:54] I think I was on social welfare,
[00:15:56] or something.
[00:15:56] I can't remember,
[00:15:57] where I got the money from.
[00:16:01] Maybe I did a few gigs,
[00:16:02] as an,
[00:16:03] as an actor,
[00:16:05] like,
[00:16:06] mess halls and stuff,
[00:16:08] like,
[00:16:10] happening jobs,
[00:16:11] you know.
[00:16:12] I can't remember,
[00:16:13] but,
[00:16:14] the money that I had,
[00:16:15] I spent on,
[00:16:16] alcohol,
[00:16:18] and,
[00:16:19] like,
[00:16:20] fast food.
[00:16:23] So,
[00:16:23] I never cooked,
[00:16:25] really.
[00:16:25] I had,
[00:16:26] the only thing that I had,
[00:16:28] at home,
[00:16:29] was,
[00:16:30] juice,
[00:16:31] orange juice,
[00:16:33] so-called,
[00:16:34] fresh orange juice,
[00:16:36] although,
[00:16:36] fresh,
[00:16:37] was not,
[00:16:38] the case.
[00:16:41] It was like this,
[00:16:42] Florida oranges,
[00:16:43] with pulps,
[00:16:45] pulp in it.
[00:16:46] Do you say pulp?
[00:16:48] Where it's actually,
[00:16:50] bits and pieces,
[00:16:51] of the actual oranges,
[00:16:52] floating around.
[00:16:54] So I,
[00:16:55] but I had this,
[00:16:57] weird,
[00:16:59] weird,
[00:17:00] weird,
[00:17:01] especially weird,
[00:17:02] for someone,
[00:17:03] who has very limited,
[00:17:04] funds.
[00:17:07] As soon as I'd,
[00:17:08] opened the,
[00:17:10] cart,
[00:17:10] with juice,
[00:17:12] I thought of it,
[00:17:13] as spoiled.
[00:17:14] So,
[00:17:15] I normally just,
[00:17:17] took one or two,
[00:17:18] glasses,
[00:17:18] out of each,
[00:17:20] cart,
[00:17:20] and then I just,
[00:17:21] put it into the fridge,
[00:17:22] and bought a new one.
[00:17:24] I mean,
[00:17:25] I was an idiot.
[00:17:26] I was a complete idiot.
[00:17:28] I'm sorry,
[00:17:29] I have to tell you this.
[00:17:32] So,
[00:17:35] whenever I had someone over,
[00:17:37] they always commented on,
[00:17:39] why do you have so many juice carts?
[00:17:41] I mean,
[00:17:42] what,
[00:17:42] what is this?
[00:17:43] Is this some sort of fetish?
[00:17:49] Anyway,
[00:17:49] I also always had noodles,
[00:17:54] and,
[00:17:54] because that was the only food,
[00:17:57] that I actually cooked at home.
[00:18:01] Anyway,
[00:18:03] I was a mess.
[00:18:05] And,
[00:18:06] so I watched these,
[00:18:08] Buffy episodes,
[00:18:09] and,
[00:18:10] at first,
[00:18:11] I just thought of it as,
[00:18:15] one of the shows,
[00:18:17] that you know,
[00:18:17] you keep seeing.
[00:18:18] I,
[00:18:19] one,
[00:18:19] one,
[00:18:19] one example of that is,
[00:18:23] the CSI shows.
[00:18:25] I have never watched,
[00:18:27] a single episode.
[00:18:28] Although,
[00:18:29] I have seen,
[00:18:31] bits and pieces of,
[00:18:33] like,
[00:18:33] almost every episode,
[00:18:35] because it was on,
[00:18:36] like,
[00:18:36] constantly,
[00:18:38] back then.
[00:18:39] I can't remember exactly,
[00:18:41] when it was on Swedish television,
[00:18:42] but,
[00:18:43] I mean,
[00:18:43] a few years,
[00:18:46] back and forth.
[00:18:48] So,
[00:18:49] that's an example of something,
[00:18:50] that I thought Buffy was,
[00:18:52] initially.
[00:18:53] But then,
[00:18:55] as I watched it,
[00:18:56] it kind of,
[00:18:57] grew on me.
[00:18:59] It was this,
[00:19:02] darkness,
[00:19:03] that I hadn't seen,
[00:19:04] in other shows,
[00:19:06] with,
[00:19:08] like,
[00:19:09] teen content,
[00:19:10] because that's really,
[00:19:12] what Buffy is.
[00:19:13] It's,
[00:19:14] it's like,
[00:19:15] teenage,
[00:19:16] early,
[00:19:17] 20s content.
[00:19:21] It's a kids show,
[00:19:22] but for,
[00:19:24] grown-ups,
[00:19:25] you know?
[00:19:27] And,
[00:19:29] I,
[00:19:29] no,
[00:19:30] it's not for grown-ups,
[00:19:31] but it's,
[00:19:31] it's a,
[00:19:32] it's a kids show,
[00:19:33] if you're like,
[00:19:34] 15 to,
[00:19:36] 20 or something.
[00:19:38] And I was,
[00:19:40] I don't know,
[00:19:42] 29,
[00:19:43] I can't remember.
[00:19:48] I can't remember,
[00:19:49] I was 30,
[00:19:51] when this happened,
[00:19:52] 30,
[00:19:53] 31,
[00:19:54] something like that.
[00:19:55] Anyway,
[00:19:59] it was something about the darkness,
[00:20:01] that,
[00:20:02] kind of caught my eye.
[00:20:05] And then,
[00:20:09] I guess,
[00:20:10] it's a sort of a,
[00:20:11] thing when you,
[00:20:13] when you're alone,
[00:20:14] when you're lonely.
[00:20:16] You watch people,
[00:20:18] that,
[00:20:20] has a,
[00:20:21] a group of friends,
[00:20:24] that continuously,
[00:20:27] make up the world,
[00:20:28] that you,
[00:20:29] inhabit.
[00:20:32] It's a,
[00:20:33] very attractive,
[00:20:34] state,
[00:20:36] you know,
[00:20:37] of being a human,
[00:20:38] being surrounded by,
[00:20:40] friends with different qualities,
[00:20:42] and,
[00:20:42] agendas,
[00:20:43] and,
[00:20:45] opportunities,
[00:20:47] and problems.
[00:20:51] And,
[00:20:51] I,
[00:20:53] more and more,
[00:20:54] I got,
[00:20:55] drawn into,
[00:20:57] the world of,
[00:20:58] Buffy the Vampire Slayer,
[00:21:00] of course,
[00:21:01] a product of,
[00:21:02] the imagination,
[00:21:04] and,
[00:21:04] I don't want to say genius,
[00:21:06] but,
[00:21:07] I mean,
[00:21:09] to be able to do,
[00:21:11] something like this,
[00:21:12] because it's crap,
[00:21:14] don't get me wrong,
[00:21:14] it's crap,
[00:21:15] but,
[00:21:16] there are different,
[00:21:17] ways of,
[00:21:19] describing crap,
[00:21:20] you know,
[00:21:21] crap can be the best thing,
[00:21:22] that ever happened to someone.
[00:21:25] So,
[00:21:25] I'm not talking about quality,
[00:21:30] I'm talking about,
[00:21:32] I don't know,
[00:21:34] the bravery to,
[00:21:36] realize worlds,
[00:21:39] which is what,
[00:21:40] Josh Whedon,
[00:21:42] the creator of,
[00:21:43] Buffy the Vampire Slayer,
[00:21:45] television show,
[00:21:48] has,
[00:21:49] you know,
[00:21:49] he,
[00:21:50] or,
[00:21:51] had,
[00:21:52] or,
[00:21:52] I don't know,
[00:21:54] had the,
[00:21:58] it's,
[00:21:59] I can't describe it,
[00:22:00] because it's,
[00:22:00] I mean,
[00:22:01] when you look at the first episode,
[00:22:03] it's like,
[00:22:05] what the,
[00:22:07] bleeding hell is this,
[00:22:08] you know,
[00:22:09] and,
[00:22:11] but if you force yourself,
[00:22:13] to keep looking,
[00:22:14] and I,
[00:22:14] I got into the show,
[00:22:16] in the later seasons,
[00:22:17] when the,
[00:22:18] storytelling had,
[00:22:20] matured,
[00:22:21] consider,
[00:22:22] considerably,
[00:22:23] and,
[00:22:25] and,
[00:22:26] the themes were darker,
[00:22:28] and the characters were older,
[00:22:30] but,
[00:22:30] I decided,
[00:22:31] that I was going to,
[00:22:33] buy the whole show,
[00:22:35] because,
[00:22:35] around that time,
[00:22:37] the whole show,
[00:22:38] concluded,
[00:22:39] in season eight,
[00:22:40] I think,
[00:22:42] and,
[00:22:42] or seven,
[00:22:43] I can't remember,
[00:22:46] anyway,
[00:22:47] I,
[00:22:47] so I bought the box,
[00:22:50] back then,
[00:22:51] it was on DVDs,
[00:22:53] and,
[00:22:54] I,
[00:22:54] watched from the first,
[00:22:56] episode,
[00:22:57] and I got,
[00:22:59] so,
[00:23:00] in love,
[00:23:01] I fell in love,
[00:23:02] with,
[00:23:02] Buffy and her world,
[00:23:06] it's,
[00:23:07] the thing that you get to feel,
[00:23:09] like you're,
[00:23:10] a child again,
[00:23:12] and,
[00:23:15] that you,
[00:23:17] because the,
[00:23:18] theme is,
[00:23:19] like,
[00:23:20] a lonely girl,
[00:23:23] who,
[00:23:25] has a greater calling,
[00:23:27] you know,
[00:23:28] and,
[00:23:29] this is,
[00:23:30] like,
[00:23:30] fuel,
[00:23:31] for the fire,
[00:23:32] of an unemployed,
[00:23:33] depressed,
[00:23:34] guy,
[00:23:35] living in a suburb,
[00:23:37] heartbroken,
[00:23:37] left behind,
[00:23:40] I,
[00:23:41] totally,
[00:23:42] sank into the world,
[00:23:46] and,
[00:23:47] got to know,
[00:23:48] Buffy,
[00:23:48] and,
[00:23:50] Giles,
[00:23:51] and,
[00:23:51] Xander,
[00:23:52] and Willow,
[00:23:53] and,
[00:23:53] Tara,
[00:23:55] and,
[00:23:56] Spike,
[00:23:56] and,
[00:23:56] Angel,
[00:23:59] and,
[00:23:59] all the other characters,
[00:24:01] and,
[00:24:02] Rose,
[00:24:03] no,
[00:24:04] Grace,
[00:24:04] what was,
[00:24:05] what was Buffy's mother's name,
[00:24:08] Grace,
[00:24:09] I can't remember,
[00:24:11] and,
[00:24:12] so,
[00:24:13] there are,
[00:24:14] like,
[00:24:14] I don't know,
[00:24:15] but it's seven seasons,
[00:24:16] I think,
[00:24:17] of Buffy the Vampire Slayer,
[00:24:19] and,
[00:24:19] we follow her from,
[00:24:21] her,
[00:24:21] first year in high school,
[00:24:24] until after graduation,
[00:24:26] and college,
[00:24:27] and,
[00:24:28] then she starts to work,
[00:24:31] and,
[00:24:32] all,
[00:24:32] all the while,
[00:24:33] she's doing all this,
[00:24:35] she's also the Vampire Slayer,
[00:24:37] this,
[00:24:37] ancient calling,
[00:24:39] that one girl alone,
[00:24:41] in each generation,
[00:24:43] will stand,
[00:24:45] between,
[00:24:46] the normal,
[00:24:47] the normies,
[00:24:48] and,
[00:24:49] the demons,
[00:24:50] and the vampires,
[00:24:51] and,
[00:24:51] other evil stuff,
[00:24:54] and,
[00:24:55] they,
[00:24:56] live in,
[00:24:57] a town,
[00:24:58] town called Sunnydale,
[00:25:00] and,
[00:25:00] Sunnydale is,
[00:25:03] I don't know if it's an accident,
[00:25:05] or whatever,
[00:25:06] but it's,
[00:25:06] placed upon,
[00:25:07] something that is,
[00:25:09] referred to as a hell mouth,
[00:25:11] so it's,
[00:25:12] like on this,
[00:25:16] yeah,
[00:25:16] it's a,
[00:25:17] it's a,
[00:25:17] it's a gap,
[00:25:18] it's a,
[00:25:20] sinkhole,
[00:25:21] down into the deeper,
[00:25:22] demonic levels,
[00:25:25] regions of earth,
[00:25:28] anyway,
[00:25:30] I think it's weird that,
[00:25:32] they imply that,
[00:25:35] evil,
[00:25:36] darkness comes from beneath,
[00:25:38] but,
[00:25:40] there is almost,
[00:25:41] never,
[00:25:43] hellish,
[00:25:44] fiends,
[00:25:45] coming up from,
[00:25:46] like hell,
[00:25:47] or something,
[00:25:49] almost,
[00:25:49] always,
[00:25:50] there are,
[00:25:51] other dimensions,
[00:25:53] that,
[00:25:54] let in this,
[00:25:55] evil stuff,
[00:25:56] you know,
[00:25:58] it's weird that,
[00:26:01] because,
[00:26:02] vampires,
[00:26:02] for instance,
[00:26:03] which is,
[00:26:04] like,
[00:26:04] cannon fodder,
[00:26:05] what do you call it,
[00:26:07] gun,
[00:26:07] gun,
[00:26:08] for,
[00:26:08] oh,
[00:26:09] oh,
[00:26:10] I don't know,
[00:26:11] they,
[00:26:13] after the,
[00:26:14] after the first season,
[00:26:16] vampires are the,
[00:26:17] the smallest threat,
[00:26:19] to Buffy and her friends,
[00:26:22] when they die,
[00:26:23] no,
[00:26:24] what,
[00:26:24] but,
[00:26:24] when they,
[00:26:25] when a,
[00:26:26] a person dies,
[00:26:28] being bitten by a vampire,
[00:26:30] or something,
[00:26:31] they rise from,
[00:26:32] their own,
[00:26:34] grave,
[00:26:35] so,
[00:26:36] they don't come from beneath,
[00:26:37] or anything,
[00:26:38] more than,
[00:26:39] you know,
[00:26:40] from six feet under,
[00:26:41] so,
[00:26:42] I don't know,
[00:26:43] about this,
[00:26:43] hell mouth,
[00:26:45] theme,
[00:26:46] I can't really get my,
[00:26:48] wrap my brain around,
[00:26:51] where,
[00:26:51] does all the evil,
[00:26:53] come from,
[00:26:55] because,
[00:26:56] as far as I know,
[00:26:57] there's always,
[00:26:58] there's,
[00:26:58] there's just magma down there,
[00:27:00] floating rock,
[00:27:01] rock,
[00:27:05] anyway,
[00:27:08] I love,
[00:27:10] Giles,
[00:27:12] Rupert Giles,
[00:27:14] the librarian,
[00:27:16] who,
[00:27:17] joins,
[00:27:19] starts to work,
[00:27:20] at Buffy's school,
[00:27:20] just because,
[00:27:22] Buffy's going to start,
[00:27:23] to go there,
[00:27:25] and,
[00:27:28] it's,
[00:27:29] I thought that it was,
[00:27:30] fresh and fun,
[00:27:31] to have,
[00:27:32] a quote unquote,
[00:27:34] old guy,
[00:27:35] in this kids show,
[00:27:36] in this,
[00:27:37] together with his,
[00:27:38] 16 year olds,
[00:27:43] and,
[00:27:47] after a while,
[00:27:49] as the characters,
[00:27:49] grow older,
[00:27:51] the role of Giles,
[00:27:52] becomes more,
[00:27:53] and more pretentious,
[00:27:55] and,
[00:27:55] he was kind of funny,
[00:27:57] in the beginning,
[00:27:58] and,
[00:27:58] more like a caricature,
[00:28:01] and,
[00:28:02] after a while,
[00:28:03] he's like,
[00:28:04] he grows into this,
[00:28:06] phase,
[00:28:07] I think that the actor,
[00:28:09] who played him,
[00:28:10] actually,
[00:28:11] began to,
[00:28:12] have his own,
[00:28:14] will,
[00:28:15] in the game,
[00:28:15] you know,
[00:28:16] because he's,
[00:28:17] Giles becomes,
[00:28:18] sort of,
[00:28:21] a little sexy,
[00:28:23] and,
[00:28:23] younger,
[00:28:24] you know,
[00:28:24] in a way,
[00:28:26] but in the beginning,
[00:28:27] he's just this,
[00:28:28] quirky old man,
[00:28:29] you know,
[00:28:29] being,
[00:28:30] what,
[00:28:31] 40,
[00:28:31] when he did the part,
[00:28:33] I don't know,
[00:28:35] Anthony,
[00:28:36] Stewart,
[00:28:37] Head,
[00:28:38] is his name,
[00:28:39] was his name,
[00:28:40] Anthony Head,
[00:28:41] Anthony Stewart,
[00:28:43] I don't know,
[00:28:45] Buffy,
[00:28:46] of course,
[00:28:46] being played by,
[00:28:47] Sarah Michelle Geller,
[00:28:49] Geller,
[00:28:51] and,
[00:28:54] I don't,
[00:28:55] why am I talking about Buffy,
[00:29:00] this is,
[00:29:02] nerd culture,
[00:29:03] deluxe,
[00:29:04] books,
[00:29:05] and I don't,
[00:29:06] have any script prepared,
[00:29:07] so I'm not very,
[00:29:10] coherent,
[00:29:13] but I mean,
[00:29:15] yeah,
[00:29:15] yes,
[00:29:16] I started to talk,
[00:29:17] and,
[00:29:17] I started talking about this,
[00:29:18] because I have my,
[00:29:20] what would Buffy do,
[00:29:21] hoodie on,
[00:29:22] and this is an old,
[00:29:24] hoodie that I bought,
[00:29:25] many,
[00:29:26] many years ago,
[00:29:27] because I,
[00:29:28] loved,
[00:29:29] Buffy the Vampire Slayer,
[00:29:33] when you look at it today,
[00:29:35] it hasn't,
[00:29:37] many of the episode,
[00:29:38] episodes hasn't aged,
[00:29:41] very well,
[00:29:42] it's,
[00:29:44] it's not,
[00:29:45] modern storytelling,
[00:29:48] but then again,
[00:29:50] some episodes,
[00:29:52] mostly episodes,
[00:29:53] directed by,
[00:29:54] Josh Whedon himself,
[00:29:57] there are,
[00:29:58] they are like,
[00:29:59] timeless,
[00:30:01] and,
[00:30:01] really unique,
[00:30:03] types of,
[00:30:05] content,
[00:30:07] I,
[00:30:08] remember that I,
[00:30:10] admire the bravery,
[00:30:12] of,
[00:30:13] making a TV show,
[00:30:15] with certain,
[00:30:17] made up,
[00:30:18] rules,
[00:30:19] and,
[00:30:20] then,
[00:30:21] keeps telling these,
[00:30:23] stories,
[00:30:24] episode by episode,
[00:30:27] without,
[00:30:28] breaking the rules,
[00:30:31] letting the characters,
[00:30:33] intertwine,
[00:30:35] as,
[00:30:36] story progresses,
[00:30:37] over the years,
[00:30:39] but then again,
[00:30:40] now and then,
[00:30:42] you know,
[00:30:43] just,
[00:30:44] totally changing,
[00:30:45] the rules,
[00:30:46] without asking permission,
[00:30:48] without,
[00:30:48] telling anybody,
[00:30:49] in advance,
[00:30:50] dance,
[00:30:52] so,
[00:30:53] there's,
[00:30:53] what,
[00:30:53] there's one episode,
[00:30:55] I think in season four,
[00:30:57] three or four,
[00:30:58] that is called,
[00:30:59] that is called,
[00:30:59] once more with feeling,
[00:31:02] which is,
[00:31:03] the whole episode is sung,
[00:31:05] the whole episode is,
[00:31:06] a musical,
[00:31:07] musical,
[00:31:09] and,
[00:31:09] these weren't in the rules,
[00:31:12] you know,
[00:31:13] singing and dancing,
[00:31:14] weren't in the rules,
[00:31:17] no,
[00:31:17] it's in season five,
[00:31:18] I remember now,
[00:31:20] because Buffy is depressed,
[00:31:22] Buffy is depressed,
[00:31:24] because she's been dead,
[00:31:26] but she's been,
[00:31:28] awakened,
[00:31:29] by her friend Willow,
[00:31:31] and,
[00:31:32] she was in heaven,
[00:31:35] and,
[00:31:35] so she got torn out of heaven,
[00:31:39] and,
[00:31:41] yeah,
[00:31:42] so there are so many levels,
[00:31:43] to these characters,
[00:31:45] the more I talk about it,
[00:31:47] the more I,
[00:31:49] remember stuff,
[00:31:53] so,
[00:31:54] anyway,
[00:31:54] the whole,
[00:31:55] town of Sunnydale,
[00:31:57] gets possessed by this,
[00:31:59] music demon,
[00:32:01] song and dance man,
[00:32:03] demon,
[00:32:03] so everyone sings,
[00:32:06] and dances,
[00:32:08] and,
[00:32:10] I remember being,
[00:32:12] totally,
[00:32:14] what do you say,
[00:32:15] flabbergasted,
[00:32:16] by it,
[00:32:18] I thought for a while,
[00:32:19] that I was,
[00:32:20] part of this joke,
[00:32:22] what are you doing,
[00:32:23] why are you singing,
[00:32:27] I think that's genius,
[00:32:29] and,
[00:32:30] it's the trademark,
[00:32:31] of someone that,
[00:32:32] truly knows,
[00:32:35] his own world,
[00:32:38] he wouldn't have,
[00:32:39] been able to do that,
[00:32:40] if he hadn't,
[00:32:41] had total control,
[00:32:43] over the narrative,
[00:32:45] and,
[00:32:45] so most of the episodes,
[00:32:47] are directed,
[00:32:48] by other people,
[00:32:49] and,
[00:32:51] more or less,
[00:32:52] streamlined,
[00:32:53] you know,
[00:32:53] and,
[00:32:54] it's nothing wrong,
[00:32:55] with that,
[00:32:55] it's,
[00:32:56] it's,
[00:32:58] it needs to be,
[00:33:01] in order to build,
[00:33:02] this world,
[00:33:05] and,
[00:33:06] there's a lot of drama there,
[00:33:07] I mean,
[00:33:08] Buffy falls in love,
[00:33:09] with this vampire,
[00:33:10] and this is way before,
[00:33:12] twilight,
[00:33:12] or anything like that,
[00:33:14] so he falls in,
[00:33:15] she falls in love,
[00:33:15] with Angel,
[00:33:16] a 400 year old,
[00:33:18] good,
[00:33:19] quote unquote,
[00:33:20] vampire,
[00:33:20] vampire,
[00:33:23] and,
[00:33:23] his evil,
[00:33:25] past,
[00:33:26] is called Angelus,
[00:33:28] and,
[00:33:30] they,
[00:33:30] love each other,
[00:33:31] but they can't,
[00:33:32] be together,
[00:33:34] because,
[00:33:34] whenever he,
[00:33:36] gives in to his,
[00:33:38] pleasure,
[00:33:39] his lust,
[00:33:40] his,
[00:33:41] whenever he,
[00:33:42] just,
[00:33:43] lets himself,
[00:33:45] totally lose control,
[00:33:46] which you need to do,
[00:33:47] in love,
[00:33:48] I guess,
[00:33:49] then he becomes Angelus,
[00:33:51] so he needs to stay away,
[00:33:53] from her,
[00:33:53] so very early,
[00:33:54] he leaves the show,
[00:33:56] and,
[00:33:56] got a,
[00:33:57] total,
[00:33:57] a spin-off show,
[00:33:59] called Angel,
[00:34:00] which is also very good,
[00:34:02] and I'm saying good,
[00:34:04] with,
[00:34:05] every,
[00:34:06] I know very well,
[00:34:07] that,
[00:34:08] from an outside perspective,
[00:34:10] this is not very,
[00:34:11] good,
[00:34:13] I mean,
[00:34:13] in,
[00:34:13] in the same way that,
[00:34:17] I don't know,
[00:34:19] the TV show,
[00:34:20] Sopranos,
[00:34:22] is good,
[00:34:22] I mean,
[00:34:23] that's a good,
[00:34:24] show,
[00:34:25] this is,
[00:34:26] crap,
[00:34:27] but,
[00:34:28] I'm not,
[00:34:29] I,
[00:34:29] I wanna,
[00:34:30] make it clear,
[00:34:32] that,
[00:34:32] crap is,
[00:34:33] amazing,
[00:34:35] crap is good,
[00:34:37] also,
[00:34:38] the only thing,
[00:34:40] that make crap,
[00:34:41] and,
[00:34:42] or any other content,
[00:34:43] bad,
[00:34:44] is when,
[00:34:45] there's no heart,
[00:34:47] and Buffy is full,
[00:34:49] full of heart,
[00:34:49] there's so much heart,
[00:34:51] and so much play,
[00:34:53] and so much,
[00:34:56] you know,
[00:34:58] quirkiness,
[00:34:59] and,
[00:35:00] weird stuff,
[00:35:03] and,
[00:35:06] I've heard stories,
[00:35:07] that it wasn't,
[00:35:08] that much fun,
[00:35:09] to do it,
[00:35:11] to actually record it,
[00:35:12] that it was,
[00:35:13] kind of a,
[00:35:15] stern,
[00:35:17] environment,
[00:35:17] but,
[00:35:18] I don't know,
[00:35:19] I don't know anything about that,
[00:35:21] the thing,
[00:35:21] when you watch it,
[00:35:22] you think that,
[00:35:23] oh wow,
[00:35:24] they must have had,
[00:35:25] a load of fun,
[00:35:26] doing this,
[00:35:30] so there's this other,
[00:35:32] episode,
[00:35:33] when,
[00:35:35] Buffy's,
[00:35:36] mom,
[00:35:38] dies,
[00:35:40] which is like,
[00:35:41] totally,
[00:35:42] out of the blue,
[00:35:44] the episode,
[00:35:45] the episode is called,
[00:35:46] the body,
[00:35:47] and as far as,
[00:35:48] storytelling goes,
[00:35:49] it's like,
[00:35:50] totally,
[00:35:52] separated from,
[00:35:53] the rest of the show,
[00:35:58] acting,
[00:35:59] comes and goes,
[00:35:59] you know,
[00:36:00] high and low,
[00:36:02] but it's,
[00:36:04] some of the,
[00:36:06] storytelling there,
[00:36:08] is,
[00:36:09] well,
[00:36:10] it's,
[00:36:10] it's brilliant,
[00:36:11] and,
[00:36:11] and also,
[00:36:12] the bravery,
[00:36:13] of just,
[00:36:15] throwing whatever you want,
[00:36:17] in the pit,
[00:36:17] of storytelling,
[00:36:18] you know,
[00:36:21] there's no,
[00:36:22] one-liners,
[00:36:23] there's no,
[00:36:28] effectful,
[00:36:30] camera movement,
[00:36:31] there's nothing,
[00:36:32] there's just,
[00:36:33] this raw,
[00:36:34] brutal,
[00:36:35] naked,
[00:36:35] storytelling,
[00:36:36] about losing,
[00:36:37] someone,
[00:36:46] because,
[00:36:46] we as audience,
[00:36:47] we weren't prepared,
[00:36:50] and,
[00:36:50] I was,
[00:36:51] devastated,
[00:36:52] when,
[00:36:53] when she died,
[00:36:55] Buffy's mom,
[00:36:56] and I'm sorry for spoiling,
[00:36:58] but this is like,
[00:36:59] this is 20 year old show,
[00:37:03] and,
[00:37:04] the fact that,
[00:37:05] Buffy had a sister,
[00:37:07] Dawn,
[00:37:09] which is actually,
[00:37:11] a key,
[00:37:11] to a hellish dimension,
[00:37:13] being turned into,
[00:37:15] human form,
[00:37:16] by some,
[00:37:18] magical,
[00:37:19] monks,
[00:37:22] and,
[00:37:23] that this,
[00:37:24] hellish demon,
[00:37:26] disguised as this,
[00:37:29] Prada wearing girl,
[00:37:32] super strong,
[00:37:35] blonde,
[00:37:36] woman,
[00:37:39] it's,
[00:37:40] it's also,
[00:37:41] so,
[00:37:41] so,
[00:37:42] one episode,
[00:37:43] just ends with,
[00:37:45] Buffy going up to her room,
[00:37:47] and then there's this,
[00:37:49] totally strange character,
[00:37:51] we haven't met her,
[00:37:53] this young teenage girl,
[00:37:55] she's in,
[00:37:56] Buffy's room,
[00:37:58] and,
[00:37:58] Buffy said,
[00:37:59] Dawn,
[00:37:59] get out of here,
[00:38:00] I'm telling mom,
[00:38:02] Dawn says,
[00:38:04] and,
[00:38:05] Buffy's mom,
[00:38:06] Buffy's,
[00:38:07] and,
[00:38:07] Dawn's mom,
[00:38:08] comes up,
[00:38:09] and,
[00:38:11] they,
[00:38:11] they turn to her,
[00:38:13] and they say mom,
[00:38:14] in one mouth,
[00:38:15] together,
[00:38:16] I think,
[00:38:18] and as an,
[00:38:19] as an audience,
[00:38:20] you get,
[00:38:21] you know,
[00:38:23] sorry,
[00:38:23] my English is so,
[00:38:25] super bad right now,
[00:38:29] you don't know what,
[00:38:30] what's,
[00:38:31] I mean,
[00:38:32] imagine,
[00:38:32] watching this on TV,
[00:38:34] being,
[00:38:35] forced to wait for,
[00:38:37] one week,
[00:38:38] before you,
[00:38:39] even get to know,
[00:38:40] what the hell,
[00:38:41] this is all about,
[00:38:43] what is this strange,
[00:38:45] girl doing in Buffy's room,
[00:38:46] and why are they,
[00:38:48] both,
[00:38:49] referring to,
[00:38:51] Rose as,
[00:38:52] mom,
[00:38:55] so now,
[00:38:56] from this,
[00:38:57] sort of backwards,
[00:38:59] storytelling,
[00:39:01] thing,
[00:39:01] to,
[00:39:03] slowly,
[00:39:04] over the episodes,
[00:39:06] understand,
[00:39:07] that Dawn,
[00:39:08] is being implemented,
[00:39:10] in,
[00:39:11] the main character's life,
[00:39:13] without them knowing it,
[00:39:16] so,
[00:39:17] these magical monks,
[00:39:19] somewhere,
[00:39:19] they have just,
[00:39:21] trolled up some mumbo jumbo,
[00:39:23] and,
[00:39:24] put Dawn,
[00:39:25] in the middle of them,
[00:39:27] making them believe,
[00:39:28] that she's always been there,
[00:39:29] that,
[00:39:30] she's been Buffy's little sister,
[00:39:32] even,
[00:39:33] from the start,
[00:39:36] and,
[00:39:37] I mean,
[00:39:37] this is,
[00:39:38] like,
[00:39:39] top notch,
[00:39:40] crap,
[00:39:41] in a way,
[00:39:42] because it's not serious,
[00:39:44] you know,
[00:39:44] but,
[00:39:45] it's,
[00:39:47] again,
[00:39:48] it's totally serious,
[00:39:50] and it's been done,
[00:39:52] with the same intent,
[00:39:53] as a kid,
[00:39:54] playing,
[00:39:55] and,
[00:39:56] yeah,
[00:39:56] that's the genius,
[00:39:57] of,
[00:39:58] Josh Whedon,
[00:39:59] I think,
[00:40:00] it's,
[00:40:01] a kid,
[00:40:01] playing,
[00:40:03] you know,
[00:40:04] when a child,
[00:40:05] plays,
[00:40:07] you,
[00:40:07] see,
[00:40:08] like,
[00:40:09] this combination,
[00:40:09] of highs,
[00:40:10] and lows,
[00:40:11] you know,
[00:40:12] someone is going to party,
[00:40:13] and,
[00:40:14] it's gonna be cool,
[00:40:15] and fun,
[00:40:15] and they're gonna have a sleepover,
[00:40:17] but then,
[00:40:19] the one that was,
[00:40:21] previously,
[00:40:21] the mother,
[00:40:22] suddenly becomes,
[00:40:24] the little sister,
[00:40:25] and then,
[00:40:26] the house,
[00:40:27] gets replaced,
[00:40:28] by a wood,
[00:40:29] instead,
[00:40:31] and,
[00:40:33] then,
[00:40:34] they sleep,
[00:40:35] for 20 seconds,
[00:40:36] and then,
[00:40:36] all of a sudden,
[00:40:37] it's a beach party,
[00:40:38] you know,
[00:40:39] I,
[00:40:40] and,
[00:40:41] there are dark,
[00:40:42] forces in play,
[00:40:43] at play,
[00:40:44] like,
[00:40:45] deep threats,
[00:40:47] but also,
[00:40:49] yeah,
[00:40:50] parties,
[00:40:50] and sleepover,
[00:40:51] and best friends,
[00:40:52] and,
[00:40:53] colored,
[00:40:55] bright,
[00:40:56] lollipops,
[00:40:57] and,
[00:40:58] pink ponies,
[00:41:02] and,
[00:41:03] a dragon,
[00:41:04] kidnaps,
[00:41:05] the prince,
[00:41:06] and takes him up,
[00:41:07] in,
[00:41:08] to a tower,
[00:41:09] and,
[00:41:10] kills people,
[00:41:11] like,
[00:41:12] for fun,
[00:41:15] and,
[00:41:16] I,
[00:41:16] that's what I love,
[00:41:17] about Buffy,
[00:41:18] the vampire slayer,
[00:41:19] or,
[00:41:19] I should say,
[00:41:21] loved,
[00:41:21] because I haven't seen the show,
[00:41:22] in many years now,
[00:41:24] I tried to,
[00:41:26] show it to Harriet,
[00:41:26] my daughter,
[00:41:28] but she,
[00:41:29] yeah,
[00:41:31] it's,
[00:41:31] it's hard,
[00:41:32] it's hard for,
[00:41:34] generation Z,
[00:41:36] to,
[00:41:40] get a grip on these,
[00:41:41] 90s,
[00:41:42] storytelling,
[00:41:43] things,
[00:41:45] they have seen,
[00:41:46] the parodies,
[00:41:48] you know,
[00:41:48] they have seen,
[00:41:50] the mockery,
[00:41:51] of these types,
[00:41:51] of stories,
[00:41:53] you know,
[00:41:53] Buffy's first day,
[00:41:54] in high school,
[00:41:55] it's so cliche,
[00:41:58] from the,
[00:42:00] clothes,
[00:42:01] the characters wear,
[00:42:02] to the buffs,
[00:42:03] and the nerds,
[00:42:04] and the sport,
[00:42:05] people,
[00:42:06] and the chess club,
[00:42:07] and,
[00:42:08] all the other,
[00:42:09] stereotypes,
[00:42:11] and,
[00:42:11] all the girls,
[00:42:12] walking around,
[00:42:13] with their books,
[00:42:14] pressed against their chest,
[00:42:16] and,
[00:42:17] checkered,
[00:42:18] mini skirts,
[00:42:19] and,
[00:42:22] ribbons,
[00:42:22] and,
[00:42:23] you know,
[00:42:24] high school,
[00:42:26] always someone,
[00:42:27] going on a skateboard,
[00:42:30] passing someone,
[00:42:32] someone's first day,
[00:42:33] in high school,
[00:42:34] that you can,
[00:42:35] bet like a hundred,
[00:42:36] bucks,
[00:42:37] that there's,
[00:42:38] at least one,
[00:42:39] person,
[00:42:40] is going to go,
[00:42:41] by them,
[00:42:41] violently,
[00:42:42] and very fast,
[00:42:43] on a skateboard,
[00:42:46] and,
[00:42:47] it's,
[00:42:48] it's very weird,
[00:42:49] that,
[00:42:50] this keeps happening,
[00:42:57] no,
[00:42:58] I guess,
[00:42:58] it doesn't happen anymore,
[00:42:59] now it's parody,
[00:43:01] now it's humor,
[00:43:02] when you do that,
[00:43:04] but it wasn't,
[00:43:06] back when,
[00:43:07] Buffy premiered,
[00:43:08] I think it was 97,
[00:43:11] 96,
[00:43:11] 97,
[00:43:12] somewhere,
[00:43:13] somewhere around that,
[00:43:14] year,
[00:43:18] I think,
[00:43:19] if I were put on the spot,
[00:43:21] and had to choose,
[00:43:22] a,
[00:43:25] favorite character,
[00:43:27] I would pick,
[00:43:32] Willow,
[00:43:36] because,
[00:43:39] she's so,
[00:43:40] I mean,
[00:43:41] she's,
[00:43:43] in the beginning,
[00:43:44] she's this nerdy,
[00:43:45] shy girl,
[00:43:47] who's in love with Xander,
[00:43:48] her,
[00:43:48] best friend since kindergarten,
[00:43:51] and Xander,
[00:43:52] of course,
[00:43:52] is this,
[00:43:53] geeky,
[00:43:55] clumsy,
[00:43:56] guy,
[00:43:56] and,
[00:43:57] actually,
[00:43:57] the only character,
[00:43:59] in the whole show,
[00:43:59] that doesn't have,
[00:44:00] any,
[00:44:02] particular,
[00:44:02] powers,
[00:44:04] at all,
[00:44:05] all the other characters,
[00:44:06] have some,
[00:44:09] thing,
[00:44:10] that is their own,
[00:44:11] power in a way,
[00:44:12] even Giles,
[00:44:14] which is also,
[00:44:15] like,
[00:44:15] completely,
[00:44:16] a normal human being,
[00:44:17] is also some,
[00:44:18] martial arts expert,
[00:44:20] or something,
[00:44:24] but,
[00:44:24] Xander is just,
[00:44:26] yeah,
[00:44:26] he's,
[00:44:26] he's this,
[00:44:28] handyman,
[00:44:30] eventually,
[00:44:31] he,
[00:44:32] graduates high school,
[00:44:33] and starts working,
[00:44:34] as a carpenter,
[00:44:34] I think,
[00:44:37] and,
[00:44:38] I mean,
[00:44:38] he's lovable,
[00:44:39] but Willow is,
[00:44:42] yeah,
[00:44:43] she's this nerdy girl,
[00:44:44] and,
[00:44:45] slowly,
[00:44:46] she starts to,
[00:44:48] grow an interest,
[00:44:50] for magic,
[00:44:53] and,
[00:44:55] at the end,
[00:44:56] she's this,
[00:44:57] full,
[00:44:57] blown witch,
[00:44:59] and,
[00:45:00] she has her,
[00:45:01] ups and downs,
[00:45:02] she falls in love,
[00:45:03] with a werewolf,
[00:45:05] played by,
[00:45:07] what is it,
[00:45:08] Seth,
[00:45:10] Seth,
[00:45:11] Cohen,
[00:45:11] het er,
[00:45:12] het er en so,
[00:45:14] now I,
[00:45:14] I spoke Swedish,
[00:45:16] I said,
[00:45:16] het er en so,
[00:45:17] which is,
[00:45:18] is he called that,
[00:45:20] is he called that,
[00:45:23] I can't remember,
[00:45:24] the name of this werewolf,
[00:45:26] he's a,
[00:45:26] he's a drummer in a band,
[00:45:28] now he's a,
[00:45:28] he's a bass,
[00:45:29] bass player in the band,
[00:45:30] he doesn't play the bass though,
[00:45:32] because,
[00:45:33] normally when you play a fish,
[00:45:35] there's a smell,
[00:45:37] you know,
[00:45:38] clearly,
[00:45:40] but he's a bass player,
[00:45:41] in this very,
[00:45:43] bad band,
[00:45:44] I mean the music in Buffy,
[00:45:46] I guess it's contemporary,
[00:45:49] B-list music,
[00:45:53] but it's so bad,
[00:45:55] I mean,
[00:45:55] something about the 90s,
[00:45:57] and this,
[00:45:58] deep,
[00:45:59] singing,
[00:46:00] songwriting,
[00:46:01] kids,
[00:46:03] it's so bad,
[00:46:04] so there's this club,
[00:46:06] in Sunnydale,
[00:46:07] called the bronze,
[00:46:09] and there,
[00:46:09] everyone ends up,
[00:46:11] and you can imagine like,
[00:46:13] hundreds of heartbreak scenes,
[00:46:16] taking place at the bronze,
[00:46:18] and,
[00:46:19] at least once a month,
[00:46:21] the whole place is being trashed,
[00:46:24] in some end fight,
[00:46:26] between Buffy and,
[00:46:27] some evil dude,
[00:46:29] and there are so,
[00:46:32] quirky,
[00:46:34] weird,
[00:46:34] bad,
[00:46:35] episodes,
[00:46:36] I mean,
[00:46:36] some of the episodes,
[00:46:37] are like,
[00:46:37] who did even,
[00:46:39] you know,
[00:46:40] who wrote this,
[00:46:42] and,
[00:46:44] others are genius,
[00:46:45] and I love the,
[00:46:46] ups and downs,
[00:46:47] villains,
[00:46:49] and,
[00:46:50] Willow,
[00:46:51] always,
[00:46:52] almost destroys the world,
[00:46:53] at one point,
[00:46:56] she falls in love,
[00:46:57] with this girl,
[00:46:58] called Tara,
[00:46:59] which is also a witch,
[00:47:00] but,
[00:47:01] she,
[00:47:01] she's also a witch,
[00:47:03] but,
[00:47:05] not,
[00:47:06] as powerful,
[00:47:07] as Willow,
[00:47:07] and Willow,
[00:47:08] starts to,
[00:47:09] experimenting with,
[00:47:10] forces that are,
[00:47:13] too strong,
[00:47:14] to,
[00:47:15] deal with,
[00:47:18] but,
[00:47:19] and Tara,
[00:47:20] tries to,
[00:47:23] stop Willow,
[00:47:24] but,
[00:47:25] she,
[00:47:26] gets aroused,
[00:47:28] by the,
[00:47:29] power,
[00:47:29] the share,
[00:47:30] power of it,
[00:47:31] and then,
[00:47:33] by some,
[00:47:34] freak,
[00:47:35] weird,
[00:47:37] chain of events,
[00:47:39] Tara gets killed,
[00:47:41] by this guy,
[00:47:43] not a very,
[00:47:44] brilliant,
[00:47:45] super villain,
[00:47:46] or anything,
[00:47:47] it's just,
[00:47:48] a misogynist,
[00:47:50] normie,
[00:47:52] that tries to,
[00:47:54] rig the game,
[00:47:56] for his own benefit,
[00:47:58] he just,
[00:47:59] kills,
[00:47:59] Tara,
[00:48:00] it's,
[00:48:01] again,
[00:48:02] it's this weird,
[00:48:03] turn of events,
[00:48:05] that is,
[00:48:06] totally unexpected,
[00:48:07] unexpected,
[00:48:08] and then,
[00:48:09] that final thing,
[00:48:11] pushes,
[00:48:12] Willow,
[00:48:13] over the edge,
[00:48:14] and she becomes,
[00:48:15] Dark Willow,
[00:48:15] which is,
[00:48:16] like this,
[00:48:18] established thing,
[00:48:19] in the story,
[00:48:21] so Dark Willow is,
[00:48:23] a black eyed,
[00:48:24] veiny,
[00:48:25] pale,
[00:48:26] super witch,
[00:48:27] that,
[00:48:29] creates this,
[00:48:30] vortex of hate,
[00:48:31] and darkness,
[00:48:32] surrounding her,
[00:48:33] and the entirety,
[00:48:34] of Sunnydale,
[00:48:35] and I mean,
[00:48:37] when I see these,
[00:48:38] scenes,
[00:48:39] I cry,
[00:48:40] because,
[00:48:41] not because,
[00:48:42] I,
[00:48:44] not because I'm,
[00:48:46] over,
[00:48:46] I'm blown away,
[00:48:47] by the,
[00:48:48] shared power,
[00:48:49] of the storytelling,
[00:48:50] or anything like that,
[00:48:51] but because,
[00:48:53] they have the courage,
[00:48:54] to,
[00:48:55] show,
[00:48:56] deep trauma,
[00:48:57] and sorrow,
[00:49:00] and anger,
[00:49:01] and,
[00:49:03] depression,
[00:49:04] you know,
[00:49:05] because,
[00:49:06] it's all a symbol of,
[00:49:08] everything is symbols,
[00:49:10] you know,
[00:49:11] so I saw myself,
[00:49:13] and my own,
[00:49:15] situation,
[00:49:18] when Willow,
[00:49:20] summoned the darkness,
[00:49:21] around her,
[00:49:23] you know,
[00:49:24] and in the middle,
[00:49:25] this little,
[00:49:26] rock hard core,
[00:49:28] is her,
[00:49:29] this,
[00:49:31] black eyed,
[00:49:32] pale,
[00:49:33] veiny,
[00:49:35] desperately,
[00:49:36] sad girl,
[00:49:39] and,
[00:49:40] I,
[00:49:41] truly love,
[00:49:43] analogies,
[00:49:44] being shown,
[00:49:46] as,
[00:49:46] popular culture,
[00:49:47] like that,
[00:49:48] because,
[00:49:49] everyone is watching,
[00:49:52] nevertheless,
[00:49:54] no,
[00:49:55] everyone is watching,
[00:49:56] whether or not,
[00:49:57] you,
[00:49:59] see the subtext,
[00:50:01] or,
[00:50:01] not,
[00:50:03] a kid,
[00:50:04] is watching,
[00:50:04] an exciting episode,
[00:50:06] of a witch,
[00:50:07] almost destroying the world,
[00:50:09] and,
[00:50:10] 30 year old,
[00:50:11] Henrik,
[00:50:12] watches,
[00:50:13] himself,
[00:50:14] you know,
[00:50:17] and of course,
[00:50:18] everything goes to plan,
[00:50:20] no,
[00:50:21] not everything,
[00:50:22] not,
[00:50:22] not,
[00:50:23] not Willow's plan,
[00:50:24] but,
[00:50:25] it's a happy,
[00:50:26] ending,
[00:50:27] Xander saves the day,
[00:50:28] because Xander,
[00:50:29] is the one who knew,
[00:50:30] Willow first,
[00:50:31] and,
[00:50:32] he,
[00:50:33] can reach her,
[00:50:35] and that's also,
[00:50:36] very beautiful,
[00:50:37] I mean,
[00:50:38] you know,
[00:50:39] she's been,
[00:50:40] building this,
[00:50:41] fortress of darkness,
[00:50:42] around her,
[00:50:43] for the,
[00:50:44] whole series,
[00:50:45] and not series,
[00:50:46] but,
[00:50:47] the whole,
[00:50:48] season,
[00:50:49] and,
[00:50:52] then,
[00:50:53] it's like,
[00:50:55] the only one,
[00:50:56] who,
[00:50:57] really can reach her,
[00:50:58] is,
[00:50:59] I mean,
[00:50:59] maybe her oldest,
[00:51:00] first friend,
[00:51:03] someone who truly,
[00:51:04] knows her,
[00:51:05] you know,
[00:51:06] and it's beautiful,
[00:51:07] and it's cheesy,
[00:51:08] as well,
[00:51:09] and it's,
[00:51:11] I mean,
[00:51:12] sometimes,
[00:51:13] I mean,
[00:51:14] I,
[00:51:15] you can see that,
[00:51:16] the show has been recorded,
[00:51:18] like,
[00:51:18] in record speed,
[00:51:19] sometimes,
[00:51:20] because some of the scenes,
[00:51:22] the act,
[00:51:23] as far as the acting,
[00:51:24] or the effects goes,
[00:51:25] you know,
[00:51:25] it's,
[00:51:27] it's B movie thing,
[00:51:29] you know,
[00:51:29] it's,
[00:51:30] it's shit,
[00:51:32] but it's beautiful,
[00:51:33] shit,
[00:51:34] I think it's a beautiful show,
[00:51:37] and I,
[00:51:37] I think that,
[00:51:40] maybe,
[00:51:41] Buffy the Vampire Slayer,
[00:51:43] is,
[00:51:43] my favorite,
[00:51:44] TV show,
[00:51:46] if I had to be,
[00:51:48] if I had to,
[00:51:49] if you twist my arm,
[00:51:50] and force me to choose,
[00:51:55] and I think,
[00:51:56] I would choose that show,
[00:51:57] to be my favorite,
[00:51:58] because,
[00:52:01] of all the love,
[00:52:02] that is there,
[00:52:03] and all the play,
[00:52:04] the playfulness,
[00:52:08] you know,
[00:52:09] when you,
[00:52:09] you watch,
[00:52:10] a few kids,
[00:52:11] play together,
[00:52:13] then you can,
[00:52:16] sort of,
[00:52:17] get,
[00:52:17] you can see,
[00:52:19] the rules,
[00:52:20] you can see the,
[00:52:22] fundamentals,
[00:52:23] their play,
[00:52:27] let's play,
[00:52:28] now,
[00:52:29] now,
[00:52:29] this guy's king,
[00:52:32] and all,
[00:52:33] all the other,
[00:52:34] has to obey him,
[00:52:35] but then,
[00:52:37] it starts to rain,
[00:52:39] and then this guy,
[00:52:40] can be,
[00:52:41] a rain maker,
[00:52:42] that can make the rain go away,
[00:52:44] and,
[00:52:45] okay,
[00:52:45] so now the king,
[00:52:46] isn't king anymore,
[00:52:47] he's a baby,
[00:52:49] you know,
[00:52:50] everything changes,
[00:52:51] in record speed,
[00:52:53] you know,
[00:52:53] lightning speed,
[00:52:55] and it's so beautiful,
[00:52:57] as long as you love,
[00:52:58] the characters,
[00:52:59] that you're,
[00:52:59] talking about,
[00:53:00] telling about,
[00:53:02] then you can do,
[00:53:04] anything,
[00:53:05] and,
[00:53:07] that's why I've always,
[00:53:10] hated,
[00:53:11] script doctors,
[00:53:14] that's people,
[00:53:17] self,
[00:53:18] proclaimed,
[00:53:19] or,
[00:53:19] otherwise,
[00:53:20] people that know,
[00:53:23] storytelling structure,
[00:53:25] the rules of narratives,
[00:53:28] and,
[00:53:30] I think that,
[00:53:30] every person on earth,
[00:53:32] knows,
[00:53:33] how to tell the story,
[00:53:35] I think it's built in us,
[00:53:37] and,
[00:53:38] the audacity to claim,
[00:53:40] that there are rules,
[00:53:42] in storytelling,
[00:53:46] there are of course,
[00:53:47] rules,
[00:53:47] in different schools,
[00:53:50] rules,
[00:53:50] of,
[00:53:51] in different,
[00:53:53] established,
[00:53:54] traditions,
[00:53:55] but to say,
[00:53:56] that,
[00:53:56] every story,
[00:53:57] needs to be told,
[00:53:59] just like this,
[00:54:01] these,
[00:54:01] and these,
[00:54:02] and these,
[00:54:04] points,
[00:54:05] need to be checked,
[00:54:06] squares,
[00:54:07] need to be checked,
[00:54:10] it's,
[00:54:11] it's so arrogant,
[00:54:13] and,
[00:54:14] I've been to so many,
[00:54:17] script camps,
[00:54:19] and,
[00:54:19] I've,
[00:54:20] been at so many,
[00:54:22] workshops,
[00:54:22] and,
[00:54:24] I mean,
[00:54:24] there's an entire industry,
[00:54:26] that,
[00:54:27] is built,
[00:54:28] around,
[00:54:29] telling other people,
[00:54:30] how to tell stories,
[00:54:31] and I think that,
[00:54:32] we are as a species,
[00:54:34] a storytelling,
[00:54:36] species,
[00:54:37] we are storytellers,
[00:54:39] all of us,
[00:54:39] I mean,
[00:54:42] it,
[00:54:42] it's,
[00:54:43] it falls upon,
[00:54:44] its own,
[00:54:45] unreasonability,
[00:54:47] I don't know,
[00:54:48] if that's correct English,
[00:54:49] or not,
[00:54:56] people,
[00:54:57] from,
[00:54:58] you know,
[00:55:00] 100,000 years ago,
[00:55:02] would have,
[00:55:04] developed this,
[00:55:06] school,
[00:55:08] this,
[00:55:09] narrative school,
[00:55:11] and set of rules,
[00:55:15] kids are,
[00:55:16] storytellers,
[00:55:17] and they have,
[00:55:17] never learned that,
[00:55:19] it's not a,
[00:55:20] it's not a skill,
[00:55:21] that you can acquire,
[00:55:23] don't get me wrong,
[00:55:24] I mean,
[00:55:25] you can,
[00:55:26] you can tell stories,
[00:55:27] for a living,
[00:55:29] but as long as you,
[00:55:31] keep remembering,
[00:55:34] that you are,
[00:55:35] per definition,
[00:55:35] a storyteller,
[00:55:38] I don't have anything,
[00:55:39] against,
[00:55:40] going to school,
[00:55:41] and learn about,
[00:55:42] storytelling techniques,
[00:55:44] and stuff,
[00:55:45] it's a good thing,
[00:55:46] and it can help you,
[00:55:47] with your creative,
[00:55:48] endeavors,
[00:55:50] but,
[00:55:51] never forget,
[00:55:52] that you're a storyteller,
[00:55:53] at heart,
[00:55:58] regardless,
[00:55:58] if you,
[00:56:00] make a living,
[00:56:01] out of it,
[00:56:02] or not,
[00:56:06] I think that's why,
[00:56:08] Buffet is the,
[00:56:09] type of go-to,
[00:56:10] for me,
[00:56:11] when I need comfort,
[00:56:12] comfort,
[00:56:14] because the themes are,
[00:56:16] you know,
[00:56:18] small versus big,
[00:56:21] dream versus,
[00:56:24] obstacle versus goal,
[00:56:29] I have,
[00:56:30] cried,
[00:56:33] alone in,
[00:56:34] a playhouse,
[00:56:36] at the,
[00:56:37] in a,
[00:56:38] like this,
[00:56:42] what do you call it,
[00:56:43] a play park,
[00:56:44] a park,
[00:56:45] a park where,
[00:56:47] yeah,
[00:56:48] there are swings,
[00:56:49] and a little toy,
[00:56:51] a little,
[00:56:51] cabin that is like,
[00:56:53] this miniature house,
[00:56:55] where kids can play,
[00:56:58] it was placed,
[00:56:59] outside,
[00:57:00] my apartment,
[00:57:01] where I lived,
[00:57:02] in this suburb,
[00:57:03] and I got home from,
[00:57:06] you know,
[00:57:07] a party,
[00:57:08] or whatever,
[00:57:09] and,
[00:57:10] I felt,
[00:57:12] so sad,
[00:57:13] and so,
[00:57:14] abandoned,
[00:57:14] and lonely,
[00:57:15] and miserable,
[00:57:16] so I crawled,
[00:57:17] into this tiny playhouse,
[00:57:19] and I,
[00:57:20] sat there,
[00:57:21] in the dirt,
[00:57:22] and sand,
[00:57:23] in the middle of the night,
[00:57:24] and I cried,
[00:57:26] and then I,
[00:57:27] thought about,
[00:57:28] Buffy,
[00:57:29] and then I thought about,
[00:57:31] her being lonely,
[00:57:33] carrying that burden,
[00:57:34] of being,
[00:57:35] the vampire slayer,
[00:57:37] although she just wants,
[00:57:38] to be normal,
[00:57:40] and I thought about,
[00:57:41] her friends,
[00:57:42] with,
[00:57:43] their different personalities,
[00:57:45] and I,
[00:57:46] sort of could lay my head,
[00:57:48] in the lap,
[00:57:49] so to speak,
[00:57:50] figuratively,
[00:57:51] figuratively,
[00:57:52] figuratively,
[00:57:55] yeah,
[00:57:56] to use an image,
[00:58:02] I could just rest my head,
[00:58:04] in their,
[00:58:04] their collective,
[00:58:08] laps,
[00:58:09] you know,
[00:58:13] and I were,
[00:58:14] being comforted,
[00:58:18] and I think that's,
[00:58:22] why I carry,
[00:58:24] this,
[00:58:25] hoodie,
[00:58:26] with pride,
[00:58:27] even today,
[00:58:29] although I'm not,
[00:58:30] in the same place now,
[00:58:31] as I were,
[00:58:32] 20 years ago,
[00:58:34] I,
[00:58:35] have a job,
[00:58:37] I,
[00:58:39] I'm not lonely,
[00:58:42] I am loved,
[00:58:44] I,
[00:58:46] still live in a suburb,
[00:58:48] though,
[00:58:50] but I'm,
[00:58:52] happy,
[00:58:56] at least to some extent,
[00:58:58] I mean,
[00:58:59] you're never,
[00:59:01] totally happy,
[00:59:04] I guess,
[00:59:05] if I'm being honest,
[00:59:08] my happiness,
[00:59:09] level,
[00:59:10] at the moment,
[00:59:11] I mean,
[00:59:12] it changes,
[00:59:13] from one minute,
[00:59:14] to another,
[00:59:14] these days,
[00:59:16] but,
[00:59:16] if I were to say,
[00:59:18] what my happiness level,
[00:59:20] is at right now,
[00:59:21] if,
[00:59:22] the best,
[00:59:22] total happiness,
[00:59:24] is 100,
[00:59:26] and,
[00:59:27] total,
[00:59:27] pitch black darkness,
[00:59:29] is,
[00:59:29] a zero,
[00:59:31] then,
[00:59:31] I guess,
[00:59:32] I am at 60,
[00:59:34] right now,
[00:59:35] and that's,
[00:59:36] pretty damn good,
[00:59:37] for a guy,
[00:59:38] 49 year old,
[00:59:41] in the middle of the winter,
[00:59:43] in,
[00:59:44] like,
[00:59:47] in the,
[00:59:48] up,
[00:59:48] in the north,
[00:59:54] I'm sorry,
[00:59:55] sleepy,
[00:59:56] for being,
[00:59:59] exceptionally,
[01:00:01] bad,
[01:00:02] at English,
[01:00:02] in this particular episode,
[01:00:04] I'm recording this,
[01:00:06] quite late,
[01:00:07] because,
[01:00:10] and,
[01:00:11] checking the parameters,
[01:00:13] of this new place,
[01:00:14] because this new place,
[01:00:16] is going to be,
[01:00:18] a recurring thing,
[01:00:19] in my life,
[01:00:21] and,
[01:00:22] I need to,
[01:00:24] adapt,
[01:00:27] and,
[01:00:27] it's hard,
[01:00:30] so,
[01:00:31] I have had,
[01:00:31] I have,
[01:00:32] hadn't had a chance,
[01:00:33] to record,
[01:00:35] until now,
[01:00:37] so,
[01:00:37] when you listen to this,
[01:00:39] if you listen to this,
[01:00:42] soon after,
[01:00:43] it's been released,
[01:00:45] then,
[01:00:47] you know,
[01:00:48] that this episode,
[01:00:49] is fresh out of the oven,
[01:00:50] so to speak,
[01:00:51] can you feel it,
[01:00:53] can you feel,
[01:00:55] the steaminess,
[01:00:58] feel the,
[01:00:59] new baked smell,
[01:01:03] coming from this episode,
[01:01:08] I am really grateful,
[01:01:10] that you exist,
[01:01:11] sleepy,
[01:01:12] listening to my,
[01:01:14] mambo jumbo,
[01:01:15] every week,
[01:01:17] and,
[01:01:18] yeah,
[01:01:20] I really love you for that,
[01:01:25] good night.
[01:01:25] night.