In this cozy bedtime episode, Henrik invites us into his bedroom for an intimate exploration of existence, childhood television, and the comforting vastness of space. Through a meandering journey that begins with gratitude for his growing international audience, Henrik shares heartwarming stories from his days creating the Swedish children's show "Super Sweet Silver Sarah and Steel Henrik," offering insights into gender roles and creative storytelling. The episode takes a contemplative turn as Henrik ponders the nature of identity, the concept of inner spaces, and our place in the universe's "golden age." With characteristic warmth and vulnerability, Henrik weaves together personal anecdotes about conquering childhood fears with philosophical musings about the nature of truth and existence. This episode perfectly balances profound thoughts with gentle humor, creating a soothing atmosphere perfect for drifting off to sleep.
For more information on Henrik StÄhl, click here: https://linktr.ee/Henrikstahl
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[00:00:00] Hi Sleepy, just a very quick note before we start today's episode.
[00:00:04] Do you want to listen to this podcast without the ads?
[00:00:08] Then you absolutely can.
[00:00:10] Just subscribe to Fall Asleep with Henrik+.
[00:00:14] And to do so, you can just click the link in the podcast description and it'll be fixed.
[00:00:21] See you there.
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[00:00:55] Hi and welcome to Fall Asleep with Henrik.
[00:01:02] I'm Henrik.
[00:01:04] And you are sleepy and it is what it is.
[00:01:11] What happens, happens.
[00:01:12] And right now there is nothing we can do.
[00:01:20] So without further ado, let's kick this show out in the cold.
[00:01:31] Hi sleepy.
[00:01:33] Hi.
[00:01:34] Welcome to yet another episode of Fall Asleep with Henrik.
[00:01:37] The podcast that is purely meant to put you to sleep.
[00:01:42] But if you don't want to, you can listen to this in any shape, form or mental state that you prefer.
[00:01:52] First of all, I want to thank you so much for reaching out to me, telling me about what you think about the podcast and how you use it.
[00:02:03] By now there are approximately 5,000 people listening to Fall Asleep with Henrik from time to time.
[00:02:14] And a few hardcore listeners that listen every day.
[00:02:18] And what makes me really glad is that you're spread out throughout the world.
[00:02:24] Although most of you are based in the US.
[00:02:27] Because I can't even begin to tell you how proud and happy I am.
[00:02:35] That, I mean, I am totally unknown outside of Sweden.
[00:02:41] And it makes me really happy that no matter that, I apparently reach out somewhat.
[00:02:53] But, and I'm so grateful for all of you who have shared the podcast.
[00:03:00] And who have told me that you've told your friends and enemies and frenemies and bypassers on the street.
[00:03:14] My name is Henrik StÄl.
[00:03:16] I am currently not in my studio.
[00:03:19] I am in my bed, actually.
[00:03:21] And I'm using a different kind of mic.
[00:03:23] Like, I thought I'd try this.
[00:03:27] Because sometimes it gets a bit, what do you say, boring to be at the same place all day.
[00:03:38] And I drove my daughter to school.
[00:03:43] And when I got home, I just thought to myself that, what if I just went to bed again?
[00:03:49] But then my grown-up brain told me to record.
[00:03:55] And so I thought, why can't I just combine the two?
[00:04:01] My leisure and my job.
[00:04:04] So here I am, in bed.
[00:04:08] So I hope you can stand the difference in sound quality.
[00:04:14] I'm not sure.
[00:04:15] This is an experiment.
[00:04:16] I have, as I said, I have a new mic.
[00:04:19] Which I intend to use when I'm traveling.
[00:04:25] And when I, for any reason, can't record in my studio.
[00:04:31] So this is the first time I'm trying this out.
[00:04:38] I hope you're well, Sleepy.
[00:04:43] I'm quite flattered that so many of you, well, it depends on what you mean by so many.
[00:04:52] Well, like 20 of you have reached out and told me that you like my accent.
[00:05:00] And that's, I mean, that's the greatest compliment you can get as a Swede, I think.
[00:05:07] Well, maybe a compliment that goes in terms of, oh, you have done so much for humanity.
[00:05:13] You are like a human god.
[00:05:15] I worship every step you take.
[00:05:18] That would be an even greater compliment.
[00:05:20] But next to that, I guess you have a very great and nice accent.
[00:05:27] That would be up there in the top 10 of compliments.
[00:05:37] As a Swede, you're always very concerned about how you sound when speaking English.
[00:05:43] And you think of English as one unified way of speaking, which it's not.
[00:05:50] As one woman who wrote to me told me that English is not something unified, especially in the U.S.
[00:06:00] Because English is like this world language with thousands of dialects and origins.
[00:06:09] And it's a very fragmented language in a way.
[00:06:13] And I think that's beautiful because you can really make it yours whether or not you are born in an English speaking country or not.
[00:06:22] So that makes me really happy.
[00:06:24] So for you who are new here, the podcast is growing.
[00:06:29] Thank you, Lord.
[00:06:33] I'm not sure to whom I'm talking when I mention the Lord.
[00:06:43] I mean, it could be anyone really.
[00:06:46] There's a lot of Lords.
[00:06:47] Maybe it's some sort of English Lord living in a mansion somewhere in the English countryside.
[00:06:53] An old estate with vines growing like wildfire all over the old and broken facade.
[00:07:10] No, it's a perfect facade, but it's on the inside that the brokenness is vivid.
[00:07:22] Thank you for making this podcast grow.
[00:07:27] What I was going to say was that I have no script, apparently.
[00:07:33] I haven't decided beforehand what I'm going to talk about.
[00:07:36] I am just improvising and speaking.
[00:07:42] And I try to balance the thin edge between boring and interesting.
[00:07:52] So, and that's my methodology, so to speak.
[00:07:56] That's my modus operandi, as they say.
[00:08:04] I am by accident sometimes interesting and funny and sometimes even profound.
[00:08:18] Although I assure you it's by pure accident when that happens because I'm not really...
[00:08:24] Well, let me just say that I'm not the smartest guy in the world.
[00:08:29] And you can take it from there.
[00:08:32] You can fantasize about how dumb I am.
[00:08:36] But, and I'm not...
[00:08:38] Well, of course I'm trash talking myself for the sake of it.
[00:08:42] I kind of like myself really.
[00:08:45] But it's...
[00:08:46] I find it refreshing to trash talk yourself from time to time.
[00:08:53] As long as you keep it on the humorous side.
[00:08:59] So I can refer to myself as being dumb, you know, but I know that I'm not.
[00:09:09] I don't even know what dumb is.
[00:09:12] I mean, isn't that really all about perspective?
[00:09:16] I mean, I could be dumb not understanding nuclear physics.
[00:09:22] But at the same time, I can be dumb not understanding the emotional process of my daughter.
[00:09:30] My teenage daughter.
[00:09:32] So I don't know really what dumb...
[00:09:35] What constitutes dumb.
[00:09:39] Being dumb.
[00:09:43] When I was younger, I made this TV show for Swedish television aimed for kids.
[00:09:53] Which was called in Swedish, it's called SupersnÀlla Silversara och StÄl Henrik.
[00:10:00] Which is roughly translated into Superkind Silver Sarah and Steel Henrik.
[00:10:09] My name is Henrik StÄl and StÄl means steel in Swedish.
[00:10:14] So that was an easy...
[00:10:15] I played StÄl Henrik, obviously.
[00:10:18] And my friend Sarah played SupersnÀlla Silversara.
[00:10:25] And this was a popular kids show back in the day.
[00:10:31] And Superkind Silver Sarah, she was a superhero.
[00:10:35] They were both superheroes on the comedic side of the spectrum, I guess.
[00:10:41] But what was significant was that they were sort of anti-heroes, which believed that they were true heroes.
[00:10:50] So StÄl Henrik, for instance, was this classical alpha male strongman with a red suit.
[00:11:01] And he was afraid of everything.
[00:11:05] Especially sparrows.
[00:11:07] And Superkind Silver Sarah, she's the really interesting character in this show.
[00:11:12] She was...
[00:11:13] Her superpower was kindness.
[00:11:16] And she was also kind of naive and easily tricked into doing stuff which the villains in the episodes took advantage of quite frequently.
[00:11:32] She always thought the best of people and she had no clue about what anything was.
[00:11:39] Or why things were.
[00:11:41] But she had this...
[00:11:44] Thing that really was her real superpower.
[00:11:47] Is that every time someone called her dumb, she changed.
[00:11:55] She exploded.
[00:11:57] What did you say?
[00:12:01] What did you say?
[00:12:02] She always said.
[00:12:04] And then the villain or anyone really repeated the word dumb.
[00:12:08] I said you're dumb.
[00:12:10] Because you could really say that...
[00:12:13] Superkind.
[00:12:14] Super sweet silver Sarah.
[00:12:16] That's a better translation.
[00:12:20] Super sweet silver Sarah.
[00:12:23] You could say that from a certain perspective, super sweet silver Sarah was dumb.
[00:12:27] Because she had no experience in what we call everyday life.
[00:12:33] She thought, like...
[00:12:37] Trees could talk and...
[00:12:40] Toys were real...
[00:12:41] Toy animals were real animals and...
[00:12:45] Yeah.
[00:12:46] She had no clue about the way of the world.
[00:12:50] So...
[00:12:51] And that of course made people tell her that she was dumb.
[00:12:54] But every time they did so, she went...
[00:12:57] She had this green tint in her face that slowly emerged.
[00:13:01] And she said, what did you say I was?
[00:13:05] And then the villain repeated, dumb.
[00:13:08] I said you're dumb.
[00:13:10] And then Steel Hendrik, that's me.
[00:13:13] I always said, come on now.
[00:13:16] Super sweet silver Sarah.
[00:13:18] Nice and easy.
[00:13:19] Nice and easy.
[00:13:22] And...
[00:13:22] Then she said...
[00:13:25] I...
[00:13:26] I don't have the energy to be nice and easy all the time.
[00:13:30] And then she exploded into this monster, really.
[00:13:36] This alternate version of herself.
[00:13:39] Green and black of soot in her face.
[00:13:44] And...
[00:13:45] Her hair was like this purple-black mess.
[00:13:51] And...
[00:13:51] And...
[00:13:52] She went the complete opposite of what she had been before.
[00:13:57] And her name then was...
[00:14:00] Super Sura Sunk Sara.
[00:14:02] Which is called like super sour...
[00:14:06] Sadistic Sarah.
[00:14:08] No, not sadistic.
[00:14:10] It's sunk.
[00:14:11] It's like something funky, you know.
[00:14:13] It smells funky.
[00:14:15] Like...
[00:14:16] Super sour, funky Sarah.
[00:14:20] But not funky in a way that's, you know, cool.
[00:14:23] This is funky.
[00:14:26] But funk is like...
[00:14:28] I don't know really the meaning of the word funk.
[00:14:31] But in a sense that...
[00:14:34] It's like she doesn't...
[00:14:36] She doesn't really make an effort of...
[00:14:39] Looking nice and being fresh and stuff.
[00:14:43] You know, typical stuff demanded of women.
[00:14:46] And...
[00:14:47] So she went like this anti-anti-hero.
[00:14:52] And then she always solved the case.
[00:14:57] Super funky...
[00:14:58] Super sour, funky Sarah.
[00:15:00] Sarah was...
[00:15:01] Like this catalyst...
[00:15:04] Who solved the case.
[00:15:06] Because Steel Hendrick couldn't do anything really.
[00:15:08] Except being...
[00:15:10] I would...
[00:15:10] I were like the comic sidekick.
[00:15:12] And I...
[00:15:13] He was in love with super sweet silver Sarah.
[00:15:16] Of course.
[00:15:17] And he was always like this...
[00:15:21] Background...
[00:15:22] Backing...
[00:15:23] Guy...
[00:15:24] Who...
[00:15:25] Had the traditional role really of a...
[00:15:31] Female...
[00:15:31] Character in...
[00:15:32] Like...
[00:15:33] A more traditional script.
[00:15:37] It was actually...
[00:15:39] I'm really proud of that.
[00:15:41] It was originally Sarah's and mine.
[00:15:45] We were show hosts for this kids show.
[00:15:48] This other kids show.
[00:15:49] And then we came up with the characters.
[00:15:51] Back then.
[00:15:52] And then it was actually Sarah who...
[00:15:55] Developed these...
[00:15:58] Episodes in this particular series.
[00:16:01] And I think that the...
[00:16:04] The part of super sweet silver Sarah and super sour funk Sarah...
[00:16:09] Is actually genius.
[00:16:12] Because it's...
[00:16:13] Back then...
[00:16:14] There wasn't a lot of talk...
[00:16:17] In Sweden about...
[00:16:20] You can...
[00:16:22] Like girls being...
[00:16:25] Well...
[00:16:26] We talked about it.
[00:16:27] Like...
[00:16:28] Gender roles and such.
[00:16:30] But it was...
[00:16:31] Kind of an...
[00:16:34] One way discussion.
[00:16:36] Really.
[00:16:37] Girls can play hockey too.
[00:16:38] Like that.
[00:16:40] But...
[00:16:41] When...
[00:16:41] This...
[00:16:43] Awesome...
[00:16:44] Heroine...
[00:16:46] Heroine...
[00:16:48] Heroine...
[00:16:49] Super kind...
[00:16:50] Super sweet silver Sarah.
[00:16:52] She was like super awesome and...
[00:16:54] And cool and funny.
[00:16:56] But she was like...
[00:16:58] A bit too kind.
[00:17:00] I guess.
[00:17:01] A bit naive.
[00:17:03] And...
[00:17:04] But she was okay.
[00:17:06] I mean she wasn't like the...
[00:17:07] Something that you wouldn't want to be.
[00:17:10] She was cool in her own way.
[00:17:12] But she also had this other quality.
[00:17:14] That was like this very...
[00:17:17] Progressive...
[00:17:18] Force of...
[00:17:19] Power and...
[00:17:21] Anger.
[00:17:22] And humor.
[00:17:25] And...
[00:17:26] I mean she was pissed off like all the time.
[00:17:29] And that was also a quality.
[00:17:31] So in a way she was like...
[00:17:33] These two female characters became...
[00:17:37] This...
[00:17:39] Perfect...
[00:17:39] Part.
[00:17:40] Two parts of this perfect part.
[00:17:43] In a way.
[00:17:47] Sometimes I talk to Sarah about this and...
[00:17:50] It's almost like it...
[00:17:53] Creeps up on us.
[00:17:54] Like this...
[00:17:55] It's been...
[00:17:57] I don't know...
[00:17:59] 12...
[00:17:59] 13 years since we recorded our last episode.
[00:18:03] And...
[00:18:05] She...
[00:18:05] Sometimes it strikes us...
[00:18:08] Like it's...
[00:18:09] This is almost like...
[00:18:11] The stories...
[00:18:13] The parts...
[00:18:14] Especially the part of Sarah.
[00:18:17] It wrote and played itself in a way.
[00:18:21] Because it was...
[00:18:23] Quote on quote true.
[00:18:26] It was something that needed to be...
[00:18:28] Told at the time and...
[00:18:30] Also...
[00:18:31] Something that felt so organic.
[00:18:33] I guess that...
[00:18:35] We didn't sit down and thought out...
[00:18:39] That this is...
[00:18:41] What we should do.
[00:18:42] It just happened.
[00:18:46] And that's my...
[00:18:48] That's my experience...
[00:18:50] With all good stories.
[00:18:52] That they just happen.
[00:18:55] Wasn't it David Lynch who said...
[00:18:58] That...
[00:19:00] Good ideas are like fish.
[00:19:04] And if you give it time...
[00:19:05] They will come to you.
[00:19:07] And when you get them...
[00:19:09] On the hook...
[00:19:10] You need to reel in real fast.
[00:19:13] And they always bring stuff with them.
[00:19:15] And you can build the world around this idea.
[00:19:17] But this idea in itself...
[00:19:20] It doesn't come from you.
[00:19:22] It doesn't come from...
[00:19:25] Like...
[00:19:25] Anything...
[00:19:29] Pragmatic in your own world.
[00:19:31] It's something divine almost.
[00:19:34] I don't...
[00:19:34] I'm not sure that he means that it's divine.
[00:19:36] But I know that he's into transcend...
[00:19:39] Trans...
[00:19:40] What do you call it?
[00:19:42] Meditation?
[00:19:43] Transcending.
[00:19:46] Transcentral meditation.
[00:19:48] I don't know what you call it.
[00:19:50] So I guess he has some...
[00:19:54] Sort of...
[00:19:56] Spiritual...
[00:19:56] Way of looking at it.
[00:19:59] I don't think you necessarily need to think about ideas...
[00:20:02] Like something...
[00:20:03] Spiritual.
[00:20:04] You can if you want.
[00:20:05] I mean you can think about anything...
[00:20:07] In any way you want.
[00:20:09] As long as it helps you.
[00:20:11] And as long as it doesn't hurt anyone.
[00:20:12] I think...
[00:20:13] You can believe in like...
[00:20:17] I don't know.
[00:20:18] That the flowers have magical...
[00:20:20] Powers and can...
[00:20:21] Influence your everyday life.
[00:20:24] As long as it makes you happy.
[00:20:25] You can believe whatever you want.
[00:20:27] I mean what is...
[00:20:28] What is the...
[00:20:29] What is this thing...
[00:20:31] That we call existence?
[00:20:33] If not...
[00:20:34] An opportunity for us to...
[00:20:37] Make it cozy...
[00:20:38] Inside our own minds.
[00:20:42] What if...
[00:20:43] What is the world...
[00:20:44] Without this cozy place within you...
[00:20:47] That you can escape to...
[00:20:49] When it's hard and rough outside.
[00:20:50] When it's raining.
[00:20:53] I know I couldn't survive without my own...
[00:20:56] Inner hut.
[00:20:58] The place where I'm safe and where I am...
[00:21:03] Untouchable.
[00:21:06] And also...
[00:21:10] Good.
[00:21:11] I believe that in this...
[00:21:14] Inner room...
[00:21:15] If it works...
[00:21:16] I mean you can have an inner room that is defective...
[00:21:19] I guess...
[00:21:19] That it's...
[00:21:20] It's leaking or...
[00:21:22] It's draggy or...
[00:21:24] Do you say draggy?
[00:21:26] I'm not...
[00:21:26] I'm not talking about drag.
[00:21:29] Not necessarily.
[00:21:31] Although that can occur in your inner room as well.
[00:21:34] But it's...
[00:21:36] I'm talking about when...
[00:21:39] When...
[00:21:42] Tight enough so the wind comes in.
[00:21:44] It's a drag.
[00:21:46] Can you say that?
[00:21:48] Oh god.
[00:21:49] I'm not sure.
[00:21:51] So that was...
[00:21:52] That's what I meant anyway.
[00:21:55] So...
[00:21:56] The rooms are...
[00:21:57] Draggy.
[00:21:59] And...
[00:22:00] It can be.
[00:22:01] And of course...
[00:22:02] It's not a nice thing if there's a leak in the roof or anything.
[00:22:06] Or if you have neighbors that are too noisy and...
[00:22:11] Tend to disturb you when you're trying to think.
[00:22:19] One of the best things I know in life...
[00:22:22] Is to be able...
[00:22:24] And get space and peace enough...
[00:22:27] To indulge myself into putting one thought on top of another.
[00:22:33] That is kind of what I'm doing here.
[00:22:35] In this podcast and my other podcasts as well.
[00:22:38] In which I am...
[00:22:40] Improvising like this.
[00:22:44] Well not really improvising...
[00:22:47] Per se.
[00:22:49] Well...
[00:22:50] In a sense that there are no rules.
[00:22:52] When you...
[00:22:53] When you play improvisation...
[00:22:57] Theater...
[00:22:58] Improv...
[00:22:59] Then you have...
[00:23:00] This certain set of rules.
[00:23:02] Like you cannot say no.
[00:23:04] You need to listen.
[00:23:05] Like this.
[00:23:07] In this case I could talk about like...
[00:23:10] The history of the toenail throughout...
[00:23:13] American history.
[00:23:15] The role of the toenail throughout...
[00:23:18] American history.
[00:23:21] But I'm not...
[00:23:22] I'm not doing that.
[00:23:25] But I could.
[00:23:26] I mean there are no rules.
[00:23:29] And it's only me.
[00:23:31] So there isn't really any...
[00:23:33] Anyone I can bounce off...
[00:23:35] From.
[00:23:37] So this is not...
[00:23:38] Real improvisation in that...
[00:23:41] Classical sense.
[00:23:42] But...
[00:23:44] Whenever I do...
[00:23:46] I feel in a sense that I'm...
[00:23:48] Putting one thought on top of another.
[00:23:52] How about you sleepy?
[00:23:56] Do you...
[00:23:57] Find yourself doing that?
[00:24:02] Putting one thought on top of another.
[00:24:04] I guess it's an important thing to do.
[00:24:10] Especially when the world is messy around you.
[00:24:16] When isn't the world messy?
[00:24:21] The world is really...
[00:24:24] Per definition...
[00:24:25] A messy place.
[00:24:28] It's...
[00:24:30] It's really a remarkable mess.
[00:24:34] That's being created constantly around us.
[00:24:37] Or can you say that a mess is being...
[00:24:40] Created?
[00:24:42] Isn't mess something that is being uncreated?
[00:24:46] I mean...
[00:24:48] Mess is...
[00:24:50] Mess was something...
[00:24:51] That was deconstructed...
[00:24:54] And scattered.
[00:24:56] Isn't that mess?
[00:24:59] And mess can also be...
[00:25:01] An ambition.
[00:25:02] Something that tries to be...
[00:25:05] Something.
[00:25:07] But you can't create mess.
[00:25:13] Or can you?
[00:25:13] I mean...
[00:25:14] I guess it depends on how you look at it.
[00:25:16] But can you create...
[00:25:20] Something that is a lack of something?
[00:25:22] Can you create a hole?
[00:25:28] Or...
[00:25:28] No, you can't because a hole is not...
[00:25:32] Anything.
[00:25:35] A hole is an absence of something.
[00:25:38] So can you create absence?
[00:25:43] I mean true absence...
[00:25:46] Is...
[00:25:47] Nothing.
[00:25:49] And you are...
[00:25:50] Indeed sleepy.
[00:25:52] Last time I checked...
[00:25:54] You are something.
[00:25:57] Oh my god...
[00:25:58] You are really something sleepy.
[00:26:02] Sometimes it hits me like a...
[00:26:04] Truck.
[00:26:06] The fact...
[00:26:08] That...
[00:26:08] You are...
[00:26:09] I don't know you...
[00:26:11] And...
[00:26:12] That's...
[00:26:13] As it should be.
[00:26:15] This is not...
[00:26:17] I'm not a magician.
[00:26:18] I just...
[00:26:19] I can't...
[00:26:21] I can't see you in the real sense.
[00:26:25] But...
[00:26:26] I know...
[00:26:27] That you are something...
[00:26:30] Truly amazing.
[00:26:32] And I'm not just saying that because...
[00:26:34] Well, that's...
[00:26:36] Things you say.
[00:26:37] You know, if you want to be motivational or anything.
[00:26:41] I know that because...
[00:26:44] Well, I don't know.
[00:26:45] I know that.
[00:26:46] I just know that.
[00:26:47] That you have something...
[00:26:49] Truly amazing.
[00:26:50] And it almost makes me...
[00:26:54] Kind of want to...
[00:26:55] Lay down the mic.
[00:26:57] And just...
[00:26:58] Go to sleep.
[00:26:59] Because it's...
[00:27:02] It's such a thing.
[00:27:04] That you...
[00:27:05] Of all people...
[00:27:06] Are listening to this.
[00:27:08] Because you're...
[00:27:11] Just being...
[00:27:12] You.
[00:27:14] The only keeper of...
[00:27:16] You.
[00:27:18] Yeah.
[00:27:19] That's you.
[00:27:20] Unless you're a child.
[00:27:22] I guess there are several keepers of you.
[00:27:25] And...
[00:27:26] But not really.
[00:27:29] If you're a kid...
[00:27:31] Who listens.
[00:27:33] Well...
[00:27:34] First of all...
[00:27:35] Thank you for being here.
[00:27:36] I'm not talking specifically to kids.
[00:27:39] But I welcome you.
[00:27:41] If you're a child.
[00:27:42] You can listen to this as well.
[00:27:44] It's...
[00:27:45] It's an honor to have you here really.
[00:27:47] And I am truly...
[00:27:50] Truly inspired by children.
[00:27:52] Every day.
[00:27:54] And...
[00:27:54] I keep as much of my...
[00:27:57] Own...
[00:27:58] Childhood self...
[00:28:00] Intact within me.
[00:28:01] As much as I can.
[00:28:03] It's hard though.
[00:28:08] But I am...
[00:28:09] I think that...
[00:28:14] We tend to...
[00:28:16] Divide people into groups.
[00:28:18] That are not necessarily...
[00:28:19] That are not necessarily...
[00:28:19] Very beneficial for us...
[00:28:21] To be in those specific groups.
[00:28:23] Like me for instance.
[00:28:25] I am a member of the group...
[00:28:27] Middle-aged men.
[00:28:31] And...
[00:28:31] It's such a boring...
[00:28:34] Club to be a part of.
[00:28:36] Because there is so much...
[00:28:37] That comes with that.
[00:28:38] That isn't necessarily true.
[00:28:39] But nevertheless...
[00:28:40] Something that we all have to deal with.
[00:28:43] Like for instance...
[00:28:44] According to everyday opinion...
[00:28:48] Is that a thing?
[00:28:50] Everyday opinion?
[00:28:51] According to common opinion...
[00:28:53] I should be really interested in...
[00:28:57] Barbecue...
[00:29:00] And...
[00:29:03] Home-brewed beer...
[00:29:05] And...
[00:29:07] Well...
[00:29:08] Cars...
[00:29:09] And...
[00:29:10] Different kinds of systems...
[00:29:12] Like...
[00:29:14] Weather...
[00:29:15] Phenomena and stuff.
[00:29:16] And...
[00:29:17] I should have a man cave.
[00:29:21] God I hate that word.
[00:29:22] I want a cave.
[00:29:25] I want a Henrik cave.
[00:29:26] I've always been very against...
[00:29:29] Looking at myself as...
[00:29:32] The stuff that I am.
[00:29:35] A man.
[00:29:39] I think I would feel the same way...
[00:29:41] If I were a woman.
[00:29:45] I...
[00:29:46] Have always felt that I am mostly Henrik.
[00:29:49] And...
[00:29:52] My gender...
[00:29:54] Identity comes...
[00:29:55] Second.
[00:29:56] Second.
[00:29:56] I know a few people...
[00:29:59] Girls and boys around me...
[00:30:01] That feel the same way.
[00:30:03] They are mostly...
[00:30:05] Their name...
[00:30:06] Their identity...
[00:30:07] Is not bound by their...
[00:30:09] Masculinity or femininity.
[00:30:11] But I...
[00:30:14] And I could never think of myself as...
[00:30:17] A middle-aged man.
[00:30:19] Although I know that I am.
[00:30:21] And I also know that I carry the privileges...
[00:30:24] The curses of that particular demographic group.
[00:30:31] I know.
[00:30:35] But it's...
[00:30:37] Hard to look at yourself as...
[00:30:39] Being a member of this...
[00:30:41] One group.
[00:30:42] And you can't escape from that.
[00:30:44] And for instance...
[00:30:45] I tend to look at TV shows...
[00:30:48] Aimed for...
[00:30:50] Women.
[00:30:50] And often younger women.
[00:30:54] I tend to look at...
[00:30:57] Like...
[00:30:58] Gripping stories...
[00:31:01] About...
[00:31:02] Emotions.
[00:31:05] And...
[00:31:07] Combined with...
[00:31:08] A bit of kitsch and...
[00:31:11] Popular culture and anime.
[00:31:14] And I...
[00:31:18] I...
[00:31:18] Of course I can look at...
[00:31:19] Like...
[00:31:20] Hardcore action movies as well.
[00:31:22] I sometimes think that...
[00:31:24] They are...
[00:31:25] Really entertaining.
[00:31:26] But it's...
[00:31:29] What I...
[00:31:30] What I was aiming at...
[00:31:32] Is that...
[00:31:32] If you're a child...
[00:31:33] Listening to this.
[00:31:34] Or if you're a grown-up with...
[00:31:38] Well...
[00:31:38] Let me just say...
[00:31:40] Aspects of child...
[00:31:41] Within you.
[00:31:43] Then...
[00:31:43] You're my kind of person.
[00:31:45] Because I...
[00:31:46] Truly believe that...
[00:31:48] They are...
[00:31:49] There are no...
[00:31:50] Really...
[00:31:50] Fair groups...
[00:31:52] That you can be put in.
[00:31:53] You are you.
[00:31:54] And that's what I mean...
[00:31:55] When I say that...
[00:31:56] You're the keeper of your own...
[00:31:58] Universe.
[00:32:00] You're the only keeper.
[00:32:02] Even if you're a child...
[00:32:03] And you have...
[00:32:05] Guardians who have...
[00:32:06] Like...
[00:32:07] Legal or...
[00:32:08] And moral responsibility of you...
[00:32:10] Over you.
[00:32:13] You are still your own...
[00:32:16] One and only keeper...
[00:32:18] Of your own...
[00:32:19] Universe.
[00:32:20] You have the keys...
[00:32:21] To your own universe...
[00:32:23] In your shaky...
[00:32:25] Little hand.
[00:32:26] And that's a great...
[00:32:28] Responsibility...
[00:32:29] But it's also...
[00:32:30] Amazing.
[00:32:31] And that is why...
[00:32:33] I feel this wave of respect...
[00:32:36] Whenever I think about that...
[00:32:38] Think about you...
[00:32:39] In that sense.
[00:32:40] Because you are truly...
[00:32:42] Amazing.
[00:32:43] Amazing.
[00:32:44] Just think of the fact that...
[00:32:47] Of all people in the world...
[00:32:50] You...
[00:32:51] The keeper of your universe...
[00:32:56] Choose to listen to...
[00:32:58] This middle-aged man in Sweden...
[00:33:03] Of all the people...
[00:33:04] Of all the poets...
[00:33:06] Of all the...
[00:33:07] Wise asses in the world...
[00:33:09] Right now...
[00:33:12] You are listening to me...
[00:33:14] You are giving me...
[00:33:15] Your attention.
[00:33:16] You are giving me...
[00:33:18] Your divine attention.
[00:33:20] I am sorry for...
[00:33:21] Using these big words...
[00:33:23] Of course you are not...
[00:33:24] Divine in that...
[00:33:25] Sense.
[00:33:26] But...
[00:33:27] In a way you are...
[00:33:28] In a way...
[00:33:28] I don't want to say that...
[00:33:30] We are all divine...
[00:33:31] That feels too fluffy for me...
[00:33:33] Even...
[00:33:34] But it's true...
[00:33:35] In a way...
[00:33:38] It's...
[00:33:39] It's cool to think of...
[00:33:41] That you...
[00:33:43] The driver of this...
[00:33:44] Amazing vehicle...
[00:33:46] Called you...
[00:33:47] Are pointing your ears...
[00:33:51] In my direction...
[00:33:52] I feel...
[00:33:55] Starstruck...
[00:33:56] Yeah...
[00:33:56] That's the word...
[00:33:58] I feel starstruck...
[00:34:04] And I can't keep...
[00:34:05] Just saying thank you...
[00:34:07] But thank you...
[00:34:09] From the bottom of my heart...
[00:34:11] For being here...
[00:34:12] And giving me this little...
[00:34:15] Time to dance...
[00:34:18] In this short span of time...
[00:34:20] That is my life...
[00:34:22] That is our...
[00:34:24] Time...
[00:34:25] In the expanding universe...
[00:34:31] I think it's amazing to think of...
[00:34:33] Like the whole existence...
[00:34:36] In terms of...
[00:34:40] Seconds...
[00:34:41] I'm not saying this to shake you up...
[00:34:43] Or scare you...
[00:34:44] Or anything...
[00:34:45] And I know that this can be troublesome...
[00:34:47] For some to listen to...
[00:34:48] And if...
[00:34:49] If that's the case...
[00:34:50] In your case...
[00:34:52] That's okay...
[00:34:53] I guess...
[00:34:53] And I'm sorry...
[00:34:54] But I don't wanna...
[00:34:56] I can't control this...
[00:34:58] You should know this...
[00:34:59] About this podcast...
[00:35:00] And about me...
[00:35:01] That I can't control...
[00:35:03] What I...
[00:35:05] Talk about...
[00:35:07] In a sense that I don't wanna shy away...
[00:35:09] From stuff that can be...
[00:35:13] Intimidating and scary...
[00:35:14] For some people...
[00:35:15] Like space for instance...
[00:35:17] I get a lot of emails...
[00:35:18] On my...
[00:35:20] Swedish...
[00:35:20] Equivalent to this podcast...
[00:35:23] That tells me that...
[00:35:25] Whenever I speak about space...
[00:35:28] Then...
[00:35:29] Some people get...
[00:35:31] Scared or intimidated...
[00:35:32] By the...
[00:35:33] Share size of it...
[00:35:35] But we live here...
[00:35:37] You know...
[00:35:40] One time there was this guy...
[00:35:42] Asking me...
[00:35:42] What is it about you and space?
[00:35:44] Why do you keep returning to space?
[00:35:46] I wrote a play...
[00:35:47] About space...
[00:35:48] I wrote a book...
[00:35:49] About space...
[00:35:50] And I...
[00:35:50] Also wrote a...
[00:35:51] Feature about space...
[00:35:54] And...
[00:35:54] And...
[00:35:55] Why?
[00:35:57] Why?
[00:36:01] Well...
[00:36:02] And I answered...
[00:36:04] That...
[00:36:04] It's because we live there...
[00:36:06] We live in space...
[00:36:07] And I'm...
[00:36:09] Overall...
[00:36:10] Really very interested in...
[00:36:11] The place I live in...
[00:36:13] Like...
[00:36:14] If you move into a new house...
[00:36:15] Or into a new neighborhood...
[00:36:18] You tend to...
[00:36:20] Like go and...
[00:36:22] Excavate the place...
[00:36:23] You know...
[00:36:24] You want to get to know the place...
[00:36:25] And that's the case...
[00:36:27] With space...
[00:36:30] I've parked my face in space...
[00:36:33] So I go and make it my case...
[00:36:35] To study space...
[00:36:37] With my face...
[00:36:39] And other parts...
[00:36:41] And...
[00:36:43] That's...
[00:36:45] That's why...
[00:36:49] So when you think about...
[00:36:51] Our current condition...
[00:36:54] Like this...
[00:36:58] Second...
[00:37:00] In the span of things...
[00:37:05] Then you...
[00:37:08] Well...
[00:37:08] I get humbled...
[00:37:11] I really feel humble...
[00:37:13] And...
[00:37:17] There's always...
[00:37:19] Almost always...
[00:37:20] Tears...
[00:37:21] Coming up...
[00:37:24] And...
[00:37:25] Like...
[00:37:26] Now...
[00:37:26] For instance...
[00:37:30] I get really emotional...
[00:37:32] When I think about...
[00:37:33] That I can sit here...
[00:37:36] Or...
[00:37:36] Lie here in bed...
[00:37:37] And feel what I feel...
[00:37:39] And say what I say...
[00:37:40] And think what I think...
[00:37:45] I don't even have words for it...
[00:37:49] I can still...
[00:37:50] I can do this...
[00:37:51] And I can create...
[00:37:52] Eternities in my mind...
[00:37:54] Because we can...
[00:37:55] We really can...
[00:37:56] We...
[00:37:56] We can really sink into...
[00:37:59] Well...
[00:38:00] Not...
[00:38:01] Regular...
[00:38:01] Real...
[00:38:02] Eternities...
[00:38:03] Because...
[00:38:04] First of all...
[00:38:05] I guess...
[00:38:06] Eternities...
[00:38:07] Plural...
[00:38:08] Would be...
[00:38:08] Like...
[00:38:10] Giving...
[00:38:11] The theory of the multiverse...
[00:38:15] Like...
[00:38:16] A green card...
[00:38:18] But...
[00:38:21] So...
[00:38:22] There...
[00:38:23] I mean...
[00:38:23] Who knows...
[00:38:24] If there's...
[00:38:25] If there's even...
[00:38:27] Such a thing as eternity...
[00:38:28] Or...
[00:38:28] Or if it's just a concept...
[00:38:32] Made up by us...
[00:38:33] Because we don't understand physics...
[00:38:35] Or time...
[00:38:37] But if there is...
[00:38:38] A multiverse...
[00:38:40] Then there are...
[00:38:40] Several...
[00:38:41] Eternities...
[00:38:43] And...
[00:38:46] If there's...
[00:38:47] Like...
[00:38:47] This omniverse...
[00:38:48] Then...
[00:38:49] There's just one...
[00:38:53] And I don't know...
[00:38:54] It's...
[00:38:55] It's...
[00:38:55] But...
[00:38:55] So I...
[00:38:56] I can...
[00:38:56] I cannot create...
[00:38:57] Like...
[00:38:58] Clinical...
[00:38:59] Eternities in my mind...
[00:39:01] Because it's not...
[00:39:02] Physically possible...
[00:39:04] For me to do that...
[00:39:05] But I can sink...
[00:39:06] Into each second...
[00:39:08] And I can prolong...
[00:39:09] The spaces...
[00:39:11] Between each moment...
[00:39:12] We can all do that...
[00:39:14] It's within our...
[00:39:18] Ability...
[00:39:21] So...
[00:39:25] And I think that's...
[00:39:26] Especially very useful...
[00:39:28] When the world is a messy place...
[00:39:30] As it is...
[00:39:31] Almost always...
[00:39:32] But particularly...
[00:39:34] These days...
[00:39:34] Maybe...
[00:39:35] Maybe we can just...
[00:39:37] Try...
[00:39:38] Sometimes to...
[00:39:41] Open up...
[00:39:42] Little hatches...
[00:39:43] In between the seconds...
[00:39:45] And allow...
[00:39:46] Time to just...
[00:39:47] Rush in there...
[00:39:48] Like it was water...
[00:39:50] And you were in a...
[00:39:52] House underwater...
[00:39:53] You could just...
[00:39:54] Open up...
[00:39:54] And just let water in...
[00:39:56] Without it being dangerous...
[00:39:57] And...
[00:39:59] Just make the house...
[00:40:00] Expand...
[00:40:01] You know...
[00:40:01] Or a balloon...
[00:40:03] If...
[00:40:03] If the second is a balloon...
[00:40:05] Then you can just...
[00:40:06] Fill the balloon...
[00:40:06] With more air...
[00:40:07] And then you would...
[00:40:08] Have like...
[00:40:10] This instantly...
[00:40:11] Bigger...
[00:40:14] More beautiful balloon...
[00:40:15] Second...
[00:40:19] So I guess...
[00:40:20] That's why tears come up...
[00:40:22] Because...
[00:40:23] I feel super powerful...
[00:40:26] And...
[00:40:27] It's not a power thing...
[00:40:29] It's...
[00:40:30] Like this bliss...
[00:40:32] Feeling...
[00:40:34] That no matter what...
[00:40:36] Life throws at me...
[00:40:38] Or...
[00:40:39] The people I hold dear...
[00:40:41] I can still...
[00:40:43] Fill my seconds with...
[00:40:45] Air...
[00:40:48] Fill my seconds with time...
[00:40:50] And...
[00:40:52] Although I am just this...
[00:40:56] Ant...
[00:40:57] Crawling on a rock...
[00:41:01] On this little pixel...
[00:41:02] Suspended in a sunbeam...
[00:41:07] Then...
[00:41:08] If I can create...
[00:41:10] Almost eternities in my mind...
[00:41:13] By my imagination...
[00:41:15] By my physiology...
[00:41:17] Physiology...
[00:41:18] Truly...
[00:41:19] Because even my imagination is...
[00:41:21] Of course...
[00:41:23] Part of physiology...
[00:41:25] So...
[00:41:26] If I can do that...
[00:41:28] Then...
[00:41:30] What a wondrous universe we live in...
[00:41:33] Don't you think?
[00:41:33] And...
[00:41:34] Then it don't matter...
[00:41:36] If this is all just...
[00:41:38] A glimpse...
[00:41:39] You know?
[00:41:39] It doesn't matter because...
[00:41:41] We're a part of this...
[00:41:43] Ever-expanding...
[00:41:44] Amazing universe that...
[00:41:47] Still riddles us so much...
[00:41:49] Even more today than a few years ago...
[00:41:52] Because...
[00:41:53] We tend to get...
[00:41:55] To discover...
[00:41:55] All the things that we don't understand...
[00:42:02] And...
[00:42:03] Yeah...
[00:42:04] That's a way of looking at life...
[00:42:06] That I really enjoy...
[00:42:08] And...
[00:42:10] Isn't it amazing that we live in a sort of...
[00:42:12] Golden age in the history of our universe...
[00:42:15] At this time?
[00:42:17] Like...
[00:42:18] Dark energy hasn't pushed everything aside so much...
[00:42:22] That we can still see other galaxies...
[00:42:24] Isn't that amazing?
[00:42:26] I mean...
[00:42:27] Just...
[00:42:28] A second from now...
[00:42:30] We won't be able to see other galaxies...
[00:42:33] Because the space between the galaxies...
[00:42:35] Will be greater...
[00:42:38] And their...
[00:42:41] Respective speed...
[00:42:42] In relation to each other...
[00:42:44] Will be greater than the speed of light...
[00:42:47] Not that...
[00:42:48] The speed itself will be...
[00:42:50] Greater than the speed of light...
[00:42:52] Because apparently nothing can...
[00:42:57] But...
[00:42:58] In relation to us...
[00:43:00] For instance...
[00:43:00] This distant galaxy...
[00:43:01] Will move away from us faster...
[00:43:05] Because of...
[00:43:06] Of...
[00:43:07] The expansion caused by dark energy...
[00:43:09] Than it takes the light to reach us...
[00:43:14] So a second from now...
[00:43:16] Any person...
[00:43:17] Creature...
[00:43:17] Being...
[00:43:18] Living on Earth...
[00:43:20] Well...
[00:43:21] Or...
[00:43:22] An equivalent to Earth...
[00:43:26] Or somewhere else in the universe...
[00:43:28] Won't be able to see...
[00:43:30] Other galaxies...
[00:43:33] Other galaxies...
[00:43:34] Maybe they will forget...
[00:43:36] That there...
[00:43:37] Even is...
[00:43:38] Other galaxies...
[00:43:40] Maybe they will think that...
[00:43:43] Their own galaxy is the...
[00:43:45] Whole of universe...
[00:43:47] Because outside...
[00:43:48] It's just dark...
[00:43:50] Forever...
[00:43:51] And please don't be scared now...
[00:43:53] It's...
[00:43:53] I mean...
[00:43:54] Some of you will...
[00:43:55] I guess...
[00:43:56] Try and say yes to it...
[00:43:59] It's...
[00:44:00] It's meaningless to just...
[00:44:03] Try and escape stuff that...
[00:44:05] Isn't actually here to hurt us...
[00:44:11] You're...
[00:44:12] You're afraid of the dark...
[00:44:14] But the dark isn't afraid of you...
[00:44:16] And it will...
[00:44:17] Still...
[00:44:18] Try to be your friend...
[00:44:21] Even though you're scared of it...
[00:44:23] So what's the point...
[00:44:27] When I was a kid...
[00:44:28] I was afraid of the dark...
[00:44:31] As like...
[00:44:32] Any kid...
[00:44:34] And...
[00:44:36] I'm...
[00:44:37] I don't remember if I...
[00:44:38] Told you this...
[00:44:39] Already...
[00:44:41] Well if I have...
[00:44:42] Then I can tell you again...
[00:44:44] It's...
[00:44:46] It's a story about...
[00:44:47] How I stopped being scared of the dark...
[00:44:49] And...
[00:44:50] I was...
[00:44:51] Like...
[00:44:52] Nine or ten...
[00:44:53] I guess...
[00:44:53] And I always had my door...
[00:44:55] To my bedroom...
[00:44:57] Like...
[00:44:59] Slightly open...
[00:45:00] So that I can see the light from...
[00:45:03] Well not the kitchen that was outside...
[00:45:06] But...
[00:45:06] The cellar door that was...
[00:45:08] On the opposite side of the kitchen...
[00:45:11] So...
[00:45:12] We had the lights on...
[00:45:13] In the stairs...
[00:45:14] Down to the cellar...
[00:45:15] So that I could see some light...
[00:45:17] Out in the kitchen...
[00:45:19] So that I wouldn't be scared...
[00:45:23] And...
[00:45:24] I'm not sure I will...
[00:45:26] Tell you this...
[00:45:27] Correctly as it happened...
[00:45:28] Because...
[00:45:29] I read somewhere that...
[00:45:30] Anytime...
[00:45:31] You bring up a memory...
[00:45:33] You distort it...
[00:45:34] And I've brought up this memory...
[00:45:36] A lot of times...
[00:45:37] Believe me...
[00:45:38] Because...
[00:45:38] I fell in love with this story...
[00:45:40] And I guess...
[00:45:41] That's a recipe for...
[00:45:45] Altercation...
[00:45:46] I guess...
[00:45:48] So...
[00:45:49] Take it with a grain of salt...
[00:45:51] But it's a good story...
[00:45:52] Nevertheless...
[00:45:53] And some version of this...
[00:45:55] Happened...
[00:45:58] Probably...
[00:45:59] So I...
[00:46:01] I also had this...
[00:46:03] Shame...
[00:46:04] This sense of shame...
[00:46:05] That I was afraid...
[00:46:06] Of the dark...
[00:46:07] Because I...
[00:46:08] Thought that I was really...
[00:46:09] Too big to be afraid...
[00:46:12] And...
[00:46:13] So I had this...
[00:46:15] Inner struggle...
[00:46:16] Between my...
[00:46:18] Shameful self...
[00:46:19] That tried to...
[00:46:20] Talk sense into me...
[00:46:21] And my...
[00:46:24] Scared...
[00:46:26] Self...
[00:46:26] And so I couldn't decide...
[00:46:29] And I've always had issues with...
[00:46:31] Well...
[00:46:32] What do you call it...
[00:46:35] When I was a kid...
[00:46:36] I had...
[00:46:37] Like this really...
[00:46:38] Ever so slight...
[00:46:40] And short-lived hint of...
[00:46:44] Compulsion...
[00:46:45] Compulsion...
[00:46:46] I wouldn't go so far as to say...
[00:46:48] That I suffered from compulsion disorder...
[00:46:50] But...
[00:46:51] I had this...
[00:46:54] Compulsion to...
[00:46:55] Do stuff like...
[00:46:56] When I passed this house...
[00:46:58] I needed to do this...
[00:47:00] And...
[00:47:00] Whenever I...
[00:47:01] Before that happened...
[00:47:02] I needed to do this...
[00:47:03] Or something terrible would happen...
[00:47:05] And we can all do that...
[00:47:07] I...
[00:47:07] I know...
[00:47:08] But...
[00:47:09] It was an issue for me...
[00:47:10] When I grew up...
[00:47:11] When I was around that age...
[00:47:13] So I was just...
[00:47:14] Stuck between...
[00:47:16] A rock and a hard place...
[00:47:17] I just ran up...
[00:47:18] And I...
[00:47:19] I opened the door slightly...
[00:47:20] And I went to bed...
[00:47:22] And then I went up...
[00:47:23] And then I closed the door...
[00:47:24] And then I went to bed...
[00:47:25] And then I went up...
[00:47:26] And then I...
[00:47:27] I couldn't...
[00:47:27] You know...
[00:47:28] I couldn't go on...
[00:47:29] I couldn't move on...
[00:47:32] And then there was this...
[00:47:35] Inner...
[00:47:36] Calling...
[00:47:37] This inner...
[00:47:38] Very firm...
[00:47:39] Well...
[00:47:40] Not voice...
[00:47:40] But we can call it a voice...
[00:47:42] Because it...
[00:47:42] It felt like something...
[00:47:45] Took control of me...
[00:47:46] Some...
[00:47:47] Older...
[00:47:48] More...
[00:47:48] Distinct...
[00:47:49] Version of myself...
[00:47:51] That just said...
[00:47:52] Enough...
[00:47:53] Enough...
[00:47:53] This is enough...
[00:47:54] Henrik...
[00:47:55] You need to put this to rest now...
[00:47:58] So I...
[00:48:00] Just rose...
[00:48:01] I went out in the kitchen...
[00:48:04] And...
[00:48:04] To the cellar door...
[00:48:07] And I...
[00:48:08] Put out the lights...
[00:48:09] In the cellar stairs...
[00:48:10] And I just screamed like...
[00:48:12] Come and get me if you want...
[00:48:14] I don't care anymore...
[00:48:15] And I...
[00:48:17] Think I left the cellar door open...
[00:48:19] And I went to bed...
[00:48:22] And I...
[00:48:23] Shut my door...
[00:48:26] Or if I left it open...
[00:48:28] I don't know...
[00:48:29] For the...
[00:48:30] For the grown-up me...
[00:48:31] I think leaving the...
[00:48:33] Door open is more scary...
[00:48:35] Than...
[00:48:36] Closing it...
[00:48:42] But I...
[00:48:43] From that time...
[00:48:45] From that day...
[00:48:46] I weren't...
[00:48:47] Afraid of the dark...
[00:48:48] In the same way...
[00:48:49] Ever again...
[00:48:50] And still to this day...
[00:48:52] I'm not...
[00:48:53] I don't think darkness is...
[00:48:56] Scary...
[00:48:56] But I have a friend...
[00:48:57] That's actually very scared of the dark...
[00:48:59] Still...
[00:49:00] And he's a...
[00:49:01] He's a middle-aged man...
[00:49:02] Like me...
[00:49:03] And...
[00:49:04] Sometimes I get...
[00:49:05] Full of admiration that he...
[00:49:07] He's so open with it...
[00:49:09] And...
[00:49:10] Because that's something...
[00:49:12] You know...
[00:49:12] Scared of the dark...
[00:49:13] That's something that you...
[00:49:16] Take off...
[00:49:17] You know...
[00:49:17] Like a bad...
[00:49:18] Clothing...
[00:49:19] When you grow up...
[00:49:20] But he never did...
[00:49:21] And I think...
[00:49:24] Yeah...
[00:49:25] I mean...
[00:49:25] I feel sorry for him...
[00:49:26] But at the same time...
[00:49:27] It's cool...
[00:49:28] With a grown man that...
[00:49:30] Is afraid of the dark...
[00:49:31] And tells people that he is...
[00:49:38] When my daughter was...
[00:49:40] Like...
[00:49:41] Four years old or something...
[00:49:42] She had night terrors...
[00:49:44] And that was actually...
[00:49:46] Kind of scary...
[00:49:48] Because...
[00:49:49] She saw stuff in the dark...
[00:49:51] That...
[00:49:53] That...
[00:49:53] Yeah...
[00:49:54] She was afraid of...
[00:49:55] And she pointed out into the...
[00:49:57] Pixely dark...
[00:49:58] And I...
[00:50:00] Pixely...
[00:50:01] The pixel...
[00:50:02] Pixels of the dark...
[00:50:04] Can you say that?
[00:50:05] That's...
[00:50:06] Like...
[00:50:06] When it's really...
[00:50:08] Some...
[00:50:09] A certain type of darkness...
[00:50:11] When you look at it...
[00:50:12] It's like...
[00:50:13] This grain...
[00:50:14] Grainy quality of...
[00:50:17] Of dark...
[00:50:19] So she pointed out...
[00:50:21] Into this grainy dark...
[00:50:22] And she just screamed...
[00:50:24] From the top of her lungs...
[00:50:26] That there was someone there...
[00:50:28] Or something...
[00:50:29] And then...
[00:50:29] I remember being...
[00:50:32] Like...
[00:50:32] Truly...
[00:50:34] Horrified for a few seconds...
[00:50:36] Until I...
[00:50:37] I realized that I couldn't...
[00:50:39] I needed to...
[00:50:40] Be the parent...
[00:50:41] One thing that really...
[00:50:46] Helped me when I was younger...
[00:50:48] And...
[00:50:48] Being afraid...
[00:50:49] Like...
[00:50:50] Really afraid...
[00:50:51] That...
[00:50:52] Like you are sometimes...
[00:50:54] And...
[00:50:55] When I knew that...
[00:50:56] This...
[00:50:57] This...
[00:50:57] This thing that I feared...
[00:50:59] Wasn't...
[00:50:59] An actual...
[00:51:00] Fear factor...
[00:51:03] It wasn't...
[00:51:05] Something that you...
[00:51:06] Had to be afraid of...
[00:51:08] It was just...
[00:51:09] You just were...
[00:51:11] Then...
[00:51:12] It actually helped me to think about...
[00:51:13] About...
[00:51:14] My fear as...
[00:51:16] Just...
[00:51:16] An...
[00:51:17] An emotion...
[00:51:18] So I could say to myself...
[00:51:21] This...
[00:51:21] Just...
[00:51:22] This is just some...
[00:51:23] This is just an emotion...
[00:51:25] It's almost...
[00:51:26] Like if I were to be considered...
[00:51:28] A rainfall...
[00:51:30] Or a color...
[00:51:31] Or a car...
[00:51:32] That's passing me by...
[00:51:34] It's...
[00:51:34] It's just a thing...
[00:51:37] And I can be...
[00:51:38] Very influenced by this color...
[00:51:41] This...
[00:51:41] Rainfall...
[00:51:42] This car...
[00:51:43] This lamp...
[00:51:45] This lamp...
[00:51:46] But it still...
[00:51:47] Doesn't change the fact...
[00:51:48] That it's just an object...
[00:51:50] Or...
[00:51:50] A phenomena...
[00:51:53] Or a...
[00:51:56] Yeah...
[00:51:59] A certain...
[00:52:01] Form on the spectrum of colors...
[00:52:07] And sometimes...
[00:52:09] It helped me...
[00:52:10] And it still does...
[00:52:13] I'm...
[00:52:14] I'm going through a period in my life now...
[00:52:16] When I have a lot of feelings...
[00:52:18] Of different kinds...
[00:52:20] And...
[00:52:22] Sometimes...
[00:52:23] When the...
[00:52:24] Feelings get too powerful...
[00:52:26] I can just...
[00:52:28] Look at them as...
[00:52:30] As...
[00:52:31] This is just feelings...
[00:52:32] And I'm not trying to...
[00:52:34] Say that...
[00:52:34] Feelings are...
[00:52:36] Less important...
[00:52:38] I think that...
[00:52:39] Feelings are...
[00:52:41] Like...
[00:52:42] Our...
[00:52:42] Operative system...
[00:52:43] In a way...
[00:52:46] It was...
[00:52:46] It's what...
[00:52:48] Makes me...
[00:52:48] Do what I do...
[00:52:50] And...
[00:52:51] Experience the world as I do...
[00:52:53] So I don't want to live a life...
[00:52:55] Without feelings...
[00:53:02] Of course not...
[00:53:05] And...
[00:53:08] But I...
[00:53:09] Would like the...
[00:53:11] Option...
[00:53:12] To tap out...
[00:53:16] Not...
[00:53:17] Denying the feeling...
[00:53:18] Not ignoring the feeling...
[00:53:20] But...
[00:53:21] Realizing that...
[00:53:23] This is a feeling...
[00:53:25] And it's...
[00:53:27] It's influence...
[00:53:29] Or...
[00:53:30] Rather...
[00:53:31] This is a feeling...
[00:53:33] And...
[00:53:33] It's...
[00:53:35] Potential...
[00:53:35] Or...
[00:53:36] Ability...
[00:53:37] To...
[00:53:37] Truly reflect...
[00:53:39] Truth...
[00:53:40] Is...
[00:53:41] Very limited...
[00:53:42] So...
[00:53:43] I could...
[00:53:44] Like...
[00:53:45] Almost...
[00:53:46] A hundred percent...
[00:53:47] Certainly...
[00:53:48] Say...
[00:53:49] That this feeling...
[00:53:51] Doesn't reflect...
[00:53:52] Actual truth...
[00:53:55] Especially when the feeling is...
[00:53:57] Really strong...
[00:53:59] Of course there are...
[00:54:01] Cases when...
[00:54:01] This feeling truly is...
[00:54:04] Something that...
[00:54:05] Is...
[00:54:06] Well...
[00:54:07] Almost...
[00:54:08] At least to be considered as...
[00:54:12] Reflecting something...
[00:54:13] Truly true...
[00:54:15] But most of the time...
[00:54:17] At least when it comes to our negative feelings...
[00:54:20] Or...
[00:54:20] Our positive as well...
[00:54:21] But it's...
[00:54:22] It doesn't...
[00:54:22] It's...
[00:54:23] It doesn't concern us as well...
[00:54:25] And then we can...
[00:54:26] Might just...
[00:54:26] Just as well...
[00:54:27] Give in to it...
[00:54:28] I guess...
[00:54:29] Take the opportunity to feel good...
[00:54:31] Once in a while...
[00:54:35] But it's...
[00:54:40] Yeah...
[00:54:41] I don't know...
[00:54:43] I don't know what I was gonna say anyway...
[00:54:49] But it's a cool thing to think about...
[00:54:51] That we're living in this golden age...
[00:54:53] Of the universe...
[00:54:56] Like we have this...
[00:55:00] Time now...
[00:55:03] When everything is...
[00:55:04] La-di-da...
[00:55:05] Although...
[00:55:06] We can experience...
[00:55:08] Horrors and...
[00:55:10] Pains...
[00:55:11] And happiness and joys and...
[00:55:14] Lust and love and...
[00:55:18] All sorts of emotion...
[00:55:21] But we're still living in this...
[00:55:23] Grand fiesta...
[00:55:25] You know...
[00:55:26] We're still living in this...
[00:55:29] Huge party...
[00:55:30] That goes on...
[00:55:32] For a few million years...
[00:55:35] And then...
[00:55:36] It'll be dark...
[00:55:38] And...
[00:55:40] We don't have to worry about that...
[00:55:42] It will be...
[00:55:43] Dark...
[00:55:45] But it will be a different kind of dark...
[00:55:47] Than the dark that...
[00:55:48] Tends to scare us...
[00:55:51] It will be a nice void of emptiness that...
[00:55:54] And I'm...
[00:55:55] I know this is...
[00:55:57] This is not cool that I'm talking like this...
[00:56:00] I'm sorry...
[00:56:02] Okay...
[00:56:02] So now I'm gonna say void of emptiness...
[00:56:04] I'm gonna say it five times...
[00:56:07] And...
[00:56:08] To...
[00:56:09] Make it less dramatical...
[00:56:11] And to...
[00:56:12] It's some...
[00:56:13] It's sort of...
[00:56:14] Exposure therapy...
[00:56:15] For those of you who feel that it's too scary...
[00:56:18] So now I'm gonna use it...
[00:56:20] And your...
[00:56:20] Your job...
[00:56:22] Is...
[00:56:23] To...
[00:56:24] To just...
[00:56:25] Look at what I'm saying...
[00:56:27] Trying to visualize...
[00:56:29] The thing that I'm saying...
[00:56:31] And...
[00:56:32] Just accept it...
[00:56:34] Don't shy away from it...
[00:56:36] Don't attack it...
[00:56:37] Don't protect yourself from it...
[00:56:40] Don't hide...
[00:56:41] Just look at it...
[00:56:43] So...
[00:56:44] I'm going to say the words...
[00:56:48] Empty void...
[00:56:50] Five times...
[00:56:54] Empty void...
[00:56:59] Empty void...
[00:57:04] Empty void...
[00:57:10] Empty void...
[00:57:15] Empty void...
[00:57:22] I think...
[00:57:23] Maybe I...
[00:57:24] Scared a lot of you away now...
[00:57:27] I'm sorry...
[00:57:28] It's not like I have this...
[00:57:31] Huge amount of listeners that I...
[00:57:33] So I should really be...
[00:57:34] Careful...
[00:57:35] But...
[00:57:36] I guess it's better that this comes up now...
[00:57:39] Because it'll happen again...
[00:57:41] And...
[00:57:43] I'm of the opinion that...
[00:57:46] We shouldn't...
[00:57:47] Shy away from...
[00:57:49] These...
[00:57:51] Existential...
[00:57:53] Things...
[00:57:54] Because...
[00:57:55] We are a part of it...
[00:57:57] And...
[00:57:57] I for one feel...
[00:58:00] Comforted...
[00:58:01] And at home...
[00:58:02] When I...
[00:58:06] Think of myself as being a part...
[00:58:08] A member of...
[00:58:10] Like this vast...
[00:58:14] Uncomprehensible system...
[00:58:16] Systems...
[00:58:18] And...
[00:58:20] Maybe my...
[00:58:22] Strive for...
[00:58:23] Truth...
[00:58:27] Or...
[00:58:27] Anything resembling truth...
[00:58:29] Is so vain...
[00:58:31] You know...
[00:58:32] Maybe...
[00:58:33] It's just...
[00:58:34] Better to accept the fact that...
[00:58:39] There is no...
[00:58:41] Truth...
[00:58:42] Maybe in a way...
[00:58:46] Of course we have to agree on certain things...
[00:58:49] Because...
[00:58:50] How else could we live?
[00:58:51] Of...
[00:58:51] I mean...
[00:58:52] Our physicality...
[00:58:53] Sets certain borders...
[00:58:56] I guess...
[00:58:56] Boundaries...
[00:58:57] In ourselves...
[00:58:59] And in our societies...
[00:59:01] So we can't just go around...
[00:59:03] Doing what we want...
[00:59:05] Referring to that...
[00:59:06] The fact that there is no objective truth...
[00:59:09] But...
[00:59:09] We can keep that fact...
[00:59:13] If it even is a fact...
[00:59:15] In the back of our minds...
[00:59:17] Reflecting on it...
[00:59:19] When...
[00:59:20] We...
[00:59:20] Come into situations...
[00:59:21] Like for instance...
[00:59:23] When you think about an empty void...
[00:59:32] Then you can keep in mind...
[00:59:34] That...
[00:59:35] There are not...
[00:59:36] There really isn't...
[00:59:39] Objective truth...
[00:59:41] Well...
[00:59:42] Maybe it is...
[00:59:43] I don't know...
[00:59:43] We don't know...
[00:59:44] You know...
[00:59:44] And that's the...
[00:59:45] That's the charming thing about life...
[00:59:48] Being able to...
[00:59:49] Live in this golden age...
[00:59:51] Of the universe...
[00:59:53] Watching your thoughts...
[00:59:55] Being...
[00:59:55] Put on top of...
[00:59:57] Of...
[00:59:58] Of the other...
[00:59:59] Thinking about things...
[01:00:01] And rejecting stuff...
[01:00:03] And...
[01:00:04] Learning new stuff...
[01:00:05] Along the way...
[01:00:19] This episode is about to end...
[01:00:23] As always...
[01:00:24] I'm not sure what this was about...
[01:00:26] I am...
[01:00:30] Clueless...
[01:00:31] To whether or not this was...
[01:00:33] Quote on quote...
[01:00:34] Good...
[01:00:35] Content...
[01:00:36] Or not...
[01:00:37] Probably not...
[01:00:38] But then again...
[01:00:39] You may be asleep...
[01:00:40] So you don't care...
[01:00:41] And that's an amazing thought...
[01:00:45] As a matter of fact...
[01:00:46] That's...
[01:00:46] I said that...
[01:00:48] The fact that you are listening...
[01:00:51] You...
[01:00:51] I mean you...
[01:00:53] It's huge...
[01:00:55] But another huge part is that you...
[01:00:58] Allow me...
[01:01:01] To talk to you...
[01:01:03] While you sleep...
[01:01:05] It's an honor...
[01:01:07] And...
[01:01:08] I am so happy...
[01:01:10] That you let me...
[01:01:13] Goodnight sleepy...
[01:01:15] And...
[01:01:15] We'll talk next week...